Noisebridge - User contributions [en]

Quotes

2012-10-09T00:32:22Z

98.234.232.4: it's true

'''When someone says something outrageously funny or weird, it goes on the memorable quotes list or it gets the hose again.

Most recent are on top.'''

* '''dj_ryan''': I'll have you know MY anal muscles are decidedly NOT SMOOTH

* '''wsargent''': php is the twilight of programming languages

* '''rubin110''': froggytoad: Want to go to Minneapolis for a Grimes concert in October? '''froggytoad''': sure, if it doesn't conflict with the mini maker faire. in oakland. '''rubin110''': Mini Maker Faire in Oakland, is that where you 3D print a mugging?

* '''zv''': i thought the man was preventing me from ircing '''zv''': turns out I just dont know what a pagedown is

* '''malaclyps''': Rob Pike, like everyone else you know, is a file

* '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: I'm doing Advanced Vim usage and Free Software as a change platform in Latino America. '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: In hackmeet '''wiretapped''': is that one talk or two? :) '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: two '''wiretapped''': "Vim: a platform for social change" '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: That would be awesome. '''mischief''': hahahahaha '''gnusosa''': "Life is like a visual line mode. We must insert and go back to edit mode if we want to succeed." 

*'''casey''': Go back to Plan9, hipster.

*'''wiretapped''': stopped at home depot to make repairs '''wiretapped''': getting back underway now '''yesac''': it was funny, latitude said y'all were stopped at the CHP parking lot for hours. figured that was a bad sign '''dj_ryan''': repairz? AMG '''malaclyps''': okay we need to repurpose that latitude for tracking the ponybus '''aestetix''': I wonder how hard it would be to reshoot Rocky Horror, cast entirely with monkeys '''yesac''': aestetix: what channel are you actually in?

* '''synx''': wsargent lets start a startup '''synx''': that delivers tarballs on the web '''synx''': click files, download compressed

* <tt>[09:37am] cynthia joined the chat room. [09:37am] cynthia left the chat room. ("goodbye forever")</tt>

* '''Snail''': On side-channels to defeat web mazes "You could probably own Dreamhost pretty easily..."

* '''Atala''': i wonder how many Mormons typo their church name and call each other Morons.

*'''Tom''': After all the digits of pi, I'm going to add a comment that says, "I see what you did there."

*'''Tom''': So that we have all the digits of pi in a file.

*'''miloh''': 35 dollars is enough to ensure your cryptographic randomness. Entropy is guaranteed.

*'''ditzydoo''': http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31434/1/Pinkie-Pie-Turns-Into-Rainbow-Dash%27s-Pubic-Hair/Kinaidographos '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Kinaidographos > Pinkie Pie Turns Into Rainbow Dash's Pubic Hair - FIMFiction.net '''ditzydoo''' wrong window.

*'''wsargent''': they're all wondering how long it will take before someone notices they're jerking off in the bathroom '''RedType''': wsargent: i dunno i can pump one out really fast but i take a long time to take a shit sooo '''wsargent''': just be sure to explain that to everyone and you'll be fine '''RedType''': HEY GUYS IM NOT JERKING OFF I JUST HAVE POOPER PROBLEMS OK TIA *shuts door, loud rhythmic grunts emerge, door opens* I TOOK A VIDEO IN CASE ANY OF YOU GUYS DONT BELIEVE ME PLUS I DIDNT FLUSH SO YOU HAVE MORE PROOF '''DrSyzygy''': ... '''RedType''': OH AND I DIDNT WIPE, JUST ONE MORE PIECE OF EVIDENCE *drops pants, spreads ass cheeks* '''RedType''': actually that probably wouldnt get me 86d but it would generate a 30 message thread on nb-discuss in which someone unironically invokes a fecal version of godwin, calling another nb-er "literally shitler" '''epsas''': hirrarrious '''dj_ryan''': shitler? '''dj_ryan''': that is fucking fantastic '''wsargent''': please someone put that up on the quotes page '''wsargent''': I can't do it right now, I locked myself out '''RedType''': my faberge beozar would probably then get "upcycled" into an organic coffee filter '''DrSyzygy''': ... faberge bezoar?! '''RedType''': faberge eggs are pretty big right? '''RedType''': anyways and with that the noisebridge "circle of life" would be complete

* '''snail''': PHP is a recursive acryonym. It stands for Probably Hacked PHP.

* '''rubin110''': Actually, I'm more concerned about the reuse of the name "Ass". '''rubin110''': Reusing machine names is totally bad luck.

* '''david415''': your shit-eating grin tells me you don't understand

* '''Cobalt''': Some of us don't use banks

* '''epsas:''' omfg - prometheus is coming out in two weeks '''mrfb:''' oh shit '''mrfb:''' wait why does belgium, france, and switzerland get it a week early '''ani:''' so people can pirate it faster?

* [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: Show me, on me, where the bad person touched you. [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: How long are you guys in town for? [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: Whopes wrong window.

* '''Noodles:''' Did I just watch someone smack some robot ass?

* '''rayc:''' If Noisebridge didn't have oogling and trolling then it would be once again 100% unadulterated, as it started out; just on a bigger level.

* '''hipe:''' Everyone's crazy at Noisebridge.

* '''yesac:''' dr_jesus: some kind of frankenbootrom you're writing. '''yesac:''' i pity the poor sod who has to debug it '''dr_jesus:''' yesac: I ran it twice, it's debugged

* '''cantelope''': in reality, time is finite. in the future it will be divied up and sold as land is now. you might buy a slice of time from ACME Temporal Realty INC. This realty will be a reality. we are casualties of causality, currently the currency of the transtemporal transhuman architect. '''DrSyzygy''': cantelope: Time is finite?? '''DrSyzygy''': So the topology of the universe is actually settled now? And the global curvature? '''cantelope''': oh.. oops. sorry, every word there has a typo. i meant to say "god bless america"

*'''miloh''': http://piratepad.net/7PbZDGZRyl

*'''nickbp''': unless i greatly overestimate the numbness of a vagina, i dont think that makeshift condom would be terribly comfortable

*'''timoreilly''': the kids neither know nor care where the funding is coming from. Besides, DARPA is a force for good in the world.

*'''ijp''': topless nerd with hard nipples; guy with a cheesy smile and thumbs up poking in from the side, rms, and I'm not even sure how to describe the guy on the right

*'''Tom''': there was a meeting with drama and I wasn't there and you've hidden all the drama and WHY DO YOU THINK I EVEN HANG OUT AT NOISEBRIDGE ANYWAY

*'''xp_prg2''': I don't understand girls and their sexuality

*'''teratoma''': DUDE '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("DUDE. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': DUDE. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("DUDE. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': DUDE. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say?

*'''RMS''': Clouds is a nebulous term.

*'''Consenso''': Please don't make me free software.

*'''DrSyzygy''': daravinne: at best we're making derpy noises and hoping someone reads something interesting into it '''openfly''': that's not mysoginy '''openfly''': it's being a company

* '''dr_jesus''': v(t)/Z = i(t) '''dr_jesus''': Please solve for i(t) where v(t) = 5V * sin(t) and Z = 0 '''dr_jesus''': (hint: the EE version of SIGFPE is fire)

* '''daravinne''': don't make me pull this channel over

* '''jedichu''': but I've been using my cyclotron as a spool to wrap my excess wire around :( '''Evil-Bill''': Maybe that would make the ethernet frames arrive before they left. '''Bifrost''': ITS A TIME MACHINE! '''Evil-Bill''': First you have to get the frames up to 88Mbps though.

* '''daravinne''': ugh, i need to do something about this failure to eat food regularly '''dr_jesus''': I thought you got your dinner from the cloud

* '''openfly''': i think my profile on there is fairly keen '''openfly''': but the ladies seem not to reciprocate. '''openfly''': i blame the failing american educational system '''rigel''': clearly it's that and not the fact that you're a misogynist doucheturd '''rigel''': gotta be the educational system '''openfly''': clearly.

* '''openfly''': i mean i put my ass on thingiverse no one gives a shit... heph shows up on reddit and he's the next goddamned jesus. '''davr''': i don't think it was his ass so much as the other side and what it was pointed at

* '''ani-''': dongs '''noisebot''': I'm getting a bit tired of dongs lately. Can't we talk about boobs or vaginas instead? '''ani-''': O_o

* '''heroic''': once during a drug-induced haze I saw jimi hendrix come floating down from heaven, playing electric ladyland on a guitar made of his own pubes... and I asked him, how many signals can I multiplex onto a single pin, jimi? and he said all the signals in the world... and I said, it'd have to be a fucking fast pin

* '''Evil-Bill''': Debating with aestetix: not hacking.

* '''Trollbridge''': they see me trollin '''Trollbridge''': THEY HATIN

* '''callen''': SF is personified in my head as a stoned drunk hobo fire dancer living on welfare who has a really great idea for a startup.

* '''daravinne''': page 34 - horoscope "Mercury in retrograde, also on soldering table. Clean that up or you'll lose a chance to meet a mysterious stranger with important career information."

* '''Gopiballava''': All my favorite gopher sites are timing out.

* '''Dale Dougherty''': There’s a small segment (of the hacker community) that is uncomfortable with the fact that we (MAKE magazine) took DARPA funding to do education work.

* '''Jason''': devops is like, you're a bad rails dev so they make you restart linux servers

* '''Justin''': For the 85 list you don't have to put any datapoints, you just put their name.

* '''Alan''': He's a nice person; he's Canadian.

* '''Shannon''': having lots of choices will just lead to more chaos and no standard being adopted.

* '''rubin110''': Fawwwwk. '''rubin110''': It's too late to take a shower. '''Bifrost''': AHA! '''callen''': rubin110: take one at noisebridge in the sink. '''rubin110''': I guess I'm an Occupier. '''callen''': rubin110: I hear all the cool kids are doing it. '''rubin110''': callen: Been there, done that. '''Bifrost''': I hear the cool kids are taking dumps on the couch. '''callen''': Bifrost: really? '''Bifrost''': yep. '''rubin110''': Bifrost: The new cool thing to do is shit on the couches with the lights on. '''Bifrost''': DO NOT SIT ON THE COUCHES. '''Bifrost''': rubin: thats so last month. '''callen''': well that's a new thing for me to be terrified of.

* '''Zephyr''': Noisebridge is a hackerspace. An attendee of a hacker space is a hacker. A hacker is someone who hacks... This may be axiomatic, but it's also true.

* '''thermburglar''': id sleep with Evil-Bill '''Evil-Bill''': And they said evil wouldn't pay.

* '''daravinne''': its funny how whenever you try to do something with linux, 90% of the time is spent on 10% of the actual things occurring

*'''ornj''': hay guise '''ornj''': what's the best cli cd player for linux? '''ornj''': or at least what do y'all use. '''rubin110''': ornj: What's a cli? '''ornj''': Command-line '''rubin110''': What's a command-line? '''ornj''': . . . '''ornj''': sighs pointedly. '''-!- ornj''' has quit [Quit: Saliendo] '''rubin110''': What's pointedly? 

* '''aestetix''': how is that useful for someone who forgot the phone number '''daravinne''': you can put it in your phone '''daravinne''': and stop being a lazy shitfuck

* '''gopiballava''': Without consensus on who should be able to do what, everybody will be confused.

* '''Ania''': I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of dating anyone I haven't met off the Internet.

* '''heroic''': okay, right now, I will give $500 to anyone named rick santorum who will let us use his identity to start a hilarious abortion fund.

* '''Aria''': People throw around "hacking" things around here like the Smurfs say "smurf"

* '''Aria''': Why isn't Noisebridge located on a zeppelin?

* '''Wladyslaw''': Might we theorize a connection between its brokenness and what appears to be a large hole burned through the door from the inside?

* '''pravDrunk''': guys '''pravDrunk''': we should all go out to karaoke '''daravinne''': what could possibly go wrong

* '''DrSyzygy''': Why would people read a book of mine if they aren't willing to wrap their lips around the hydrant?

* '''Atala''': [http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1 http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1] '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Man arrested for possessing a buttock of Saddam | Hot Topics | an SFGate.com blog '''ani-''': well thats not a headline one would expect to see. ever. '''znutar_''': first they came for our buttocks, and I did not object, for I still had 2

* '''dr_jesus''': You've never had to ask a ethernet mac why it appeared to be smoking crack with a jtag adapter?

* '''Evil-Bill''': This started out as a simple conversation about cavernous lady bits, but now it's got silly.

* ''' lemonkey''': minecraft = aspergers babysitter

* '''Michael Kan''': Homeland Security reminds me of my mother, because she likes to go through all my stuff.

* '''thermburglar''': my bf made a truffle cream sauce to go with it '''thermburglar''': truffle oil makes every food taste like the best pussy ever

* '''noisebot''' [Link Info] title: We Cant Wait: Obama Administration Announces $2 Billion in Resources to Support Job-Creating Startups | The White House '''aestetix''': That's great way to bring new jobs '''znutar''': $2 billion to support node.js '''aestetix''': Well, it's being distributed among 100,000 startups '''wsargent''': yeah, it's non blocking and parallel '''wsargent''': that makes it scalable

* '''@netik''': we don't censor except in extremely limited contexts which are mandated by law.

* '''aestetix''': sarahbliss: what's this party '''miah''': its a aestetix free party '''miah''': there is a ego quota and having you there would cause a overflow '''synack''': ohsnap

* '''openfly''': chicago '''openfly''': it is a place devoid of joy '''openfly''': it's barren flats have been blasted down to their base elements by the uncaring winds and turned hard by the vicious cold '''openfly''': the light in it's peoples eyes was extinguished long ago. now their stares reflect the death that surrounds them. '''openfly''': woe be unto the travellers that enter those lands, for in them the only certainty is ruination.

* >> '''lemonkey''' wonders what gay babies think as they're born out of a vagina '''Noodles''': lemonkey: "Never again"

* '''epsas''': 2011, noisebot becomes conscious '''epsas''': 2012, the machine wars begin '''jedichu''': 2013, noisebot accidentally the whole uprising '''jedichu''': 2014, back to normal '''heroic''': 2014, noisebot makes a your mom joke and skynet's database needs a reload '''noisebot''': Not funny. '''heroic''': 2015, some random dude in the space does it to see what will happen and WAY TO GO we're all human slaves in a noisebot nation again '''noisebot''': afternoon, heroic :D '''jedichu''': The worst part is all the dead baby jokes. Robots loooove dead baby jokes. '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD? '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, I DO NOT KNOW '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, BECAUSE IT SERVED THE PURPOSES OF THE COLLECTIVE '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE BABY IS DEAD

* '''mxweas_''': does noisebridge do haircuts? '''aestetix''': yes '''mxweas_''': where at? '''aestetix''': mxweas_: there's an older asian guy named mike who cuts peoples hair every sunday '''aestetix''': he's really nice '''setient''': yeah '''setient''': he is really nice '''mxweas_''': I didn't see him come in today '''setient''': he isn't here that i know of today '''mxweas_''': lame '''mxweas_''': can he cut my hair like skrillex? '''setient''': yes '''setient''': he can '''mxweas_''': perfect.

* '''lemonkey''': in space nobody can hear you ragequit

* '''mrdomino''': (btw it is probably not in anybody's best interest to give me enough power to destroy the planet)

*'''dr_jesus''': HEPH: WHAT DOES DEFINE AN ORGY? '''dr_jesus''': fuck, keyboard still stuck in vms mode

*'''rafl''': but i'm going to expect them to be present at the airport as well. i know it's super easy to get from SFO to noisebridge, but I still don't trust my navigation skills enough to make it without the internets :) '''rubin110''': rafl: No you wont find prepaid SIMs at the airport. '''rubin110''': We're not Europe. '''rafl''': wait, what? what's wrong with you? '''setient''': a lot '''setient''': a real lot '''rubin110''': Dude. '''rubin110''': You're flying into AMERICA. '''rubin110''': LAND OF THE FREE. '''setient''': s/free/retarded '''rubin110''': Now drop the accent and pay our fucking taxes.

* '''epsas''': hmm '''epsas''': anybody know anything about Pixt.com? '''nickbp''': sounds like a domain name to me

* '''lemonkey''': everyone remembers the first time they pop their LED '''heph''': lemonkey: it was so bright and then it got really dim and then it smelled bad '''heph''': so yeah, just like sex

*'''heph''': lol. eww. i just found my missing nipple ring at the bottom of my desk drawer

* '''Taylor A''': Trust me, I spend a lot of time evaluating on how much of an asshole I should be to new people. I'm working on getting this shit down to a science. '''Taylor A''': That's pretty much my M.O. I'll often end up making rape jokes within a few minutes of meeting new people.

* '''hk_''': you may think you are being witty and hilarious, but in fact you are being a weird douche of the highest order.

* '''Sean C''': Also, just to re-re-clarify. There is 0 discrimination occurring here.

* '''mrdomino''': so like "we spent this fifteen minute interval talking about dicks. then there was some intelligent discussion about politics, drugs, raping babies, and hitler for a couple minutes. then someone said the magic word again."

* '''heph''': daravinne: oh man, i wanked to some seriously weird erotic lit when i was on 14.4 dialup

* '''snailtsunami''': governmints freshen your breath, whether you like it or not

* '''heph''': i hope anonymous protests burningman at burningman. fuck that paul david addis guy, let's burn the man LATE

* '''aestetix''': vagina '''synack''': dentata '''daravinne''': i sense a musical sequel to The Killer Condom '''daravinne''': a lighthearted romp through the world of sentient aggressively murderous genitalia '''DrEpsas''': condoms, the quiet killers

* '''daravinne''': if you write slashfic of me and amanda palmer you should at least have me draw dongs as her eyebrows as part of foreplay
* '''pm-''': hi guys ill be dranking beers tonight - so watch out! Here is the command to ignore me. use it: "/ignore *!*@74.195.225.5 all"

* '''lemonkey''': Alex Trebek injured after chasing burglar in SF hotel. '''lolper''': What is good samaritan?

* >> '''Evil-Bill''' grows old waiting for Cygwin to install. '''daravinne''': what if you grew something else '''fsargent''': Cygwin has arrived. It is equiped with [Terminal] and [Logic] '''Evil-Bill''': I tried growing young, but it made all the physicists mad. '''daravinne''': well what do they know '''daravinne''': besides physics '''fsargent''': You are in a cubicle. There is an exit to the [South] '''fsargent''': The flourescent lights hurt your eyes. '''daravinne''': you are eaten by a grue '''Evil-Bill''': exit '''fsargent''': You go south. You are in a corridor. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': chat up cute co-worker in other cubicle '''fsargent''': <Sysadmin> looks up from his monitor. He is not amused. >> '''Evil-Bill''' does not fear sysadmins. '''fsargent''': Sysadmin: I just gotta fix this one thing... '''dr_jesus''': OSInstaller[388]: Reaping previous system >> '''dr_jesus''' cringes '''fsargent''': The <Sysadmin> is on the internet. Reddit. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': install quake mod '''fsargent''': A SHAMBLER APPEARS! '''Evil-Bill''': use chainsaw on shambler '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER summons LIGHTNING and PAIN. '''Evil-Bill''': equip BFG10K '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER has been hit by CHAINSAW! It loses 50 health. '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER hits you with LIGHTNING! You lose 40 health. '''Evil-Bill''': use BFG10K on shambler '''fsargent''': BFG10K NOT FOUND '''Evil-Bill''': This game sucks. '''fsargent''': GAME SUCKS for 10 HIT POINTS! You feel strangely happy. '''Evil-Bill''': equip shotgun '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN hit SHAMBLER with TL;DR for 100 hit points! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER falls over, dead. A smell of rotted meat appears. '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN is hit by SHOTGUN! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin again '''fsargent''': The sysadmin's head explodes from his neck, bone and cartilage flying across the cubicles. A shard of skull hits the fire alarm. '''fsargent''': Water cascades from the ceiling. '''fsargent''': You are wet. '''Evil-Bill''': take sysadmin's loot '''Evil-Bill''': teabag sysadmin '''fsargent''': Sysadmin has (1) ID card, (5) Dollars, (1) Apple Newton, (1) Yerba Mate Energy Drink '''Evil-Bill''': A newton? No wonder he was so easy to kill. '''fsargent''': You teabag the sysadmin. Your balls are now wet, and covered in blood. '''fsargent''': You feel dirty. '''Evil-Bill''': use ID card to escape office '''fsargent''': You escape the office, taking the elevator. You use the ID badge to exit the elevator without alerting security. '''fsargent''': You are on a street. It is busy, and bright outside. The sunshine hurts your eyes. '''Evil-Bill''': put on sunglasses '''fsargent''': People notice your lack of pants, and blood soaked appearance. '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''Evil-Bill''': remind people of shotgun '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: aaaaaaaaAAKLASDLKHAGKLEHahhahh!!!!!!! SHOTGUN! '''fsargent''': PEOPLE is afraid. '''Evil-Bill''': save game '''fsargent''': You put on your sunglasses. '''Evil-Bill''': I'll finish this later. '''fsargent''': <SAVED> >> '''Evil-Bill''' goes back to surfing porn. '''fsargent''': (you gain +15 XP) '''sentient''': a grue approaches '''fsargent''': The grue speaks in third person.

* '''heph''': i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal

* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law

* '''DrSyzygy''': mrdomino: You should switch to Haskell! '''DrSyzygy''': Much less surprises! '''mrdomino''': oh right, because haskell is TOTALLY sane and predictable '''DrSyzygy''': Well, yeah. '''mrdomino''': do { "hello"; "world" } '''daravinne''': can we go back to the conversation about rape now

* '''rigel''': theres ethnographies of all kinds of subcultures. '''rigel''': use the damn library, jesus fuckball rat vagina christ

* '''fsargent''': noisebot vagina '''noisebot''': vaginas are very advanced. too advanced for #noisebridge

* '''jedichu''': Because, honestly, where did a busking begging hobo robot come from? Obviously he didn't evolve here on earth. He must be some kind of extra terrestrial, and he needs you to give him 25c so he can phone home for a ride.

* '''miah''': secondlife *is* irc '''miah''': with raining dicks '''mrdomino''': so, irc

* '''alienvenom''': lemonkey: i have a groupon for your mom

* '''yesac''': super-darwin, who travels the world with his lazer scalpel for vasectomies '''whiteybulger''': http://www.thejc.com/news/world-news/49875/foreskin-man-takes-monster-mohel-comic-book '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Foreskin man takes on Monster Mohel in comic book | The Jewish Chronicle

* '''whiteybulger''': is this the face of a child molestor '''whiteybulger''': http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/03/BA8R1JP1JJ.DTL '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: SF kids' art mentor charged with having child porn '''aestetix''': You know '''aestetix''': That almost makes me want to molest a kid and then dress up as big bird right before I get arrested '''aestetix''': So that there is a photo in the newspaper "child molestor caught" with big bird in the photo 

* '''murph''': Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold. '''murph''': That's just .. unbelievable '''Evil-Bill''': Yeah, so like, the rapture never came, but Duke Nukem Forever did. '''Evil-Bill''': That's almost as good.

* '''daravinne''': dongs '''ani-''': vaginas '''daravinne''': TOGETHER AT LAST '''ani-''': *cue slow motion of a video of a penis and vagina running to meet each other in a meadow* '''mrdomino''': That mental image will never leave my brain.

* '''xhonk''': 80% of nothing is 0.8 nothings, so worth about 5 bitcoins

* '''kipmacy''': we talk about ass lasering a lot in this channel

* '''kipmacy''': if you get the working girls on capp to take bitcoins, i will become bitcoin evangelist '''dr_jesus''': Hey baby, want some magic numbers? '''dr_jesus''': My sha1 hash rate brings all the boys to the yard

*'''daravinne''' http://doesntmatter.example/oh/god/why ok this one is really, really, really not safe for work '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Handmade Vagina

*'''mike kan''': My greatest fear about a trantula is that it might fall very far and and splat on the floor

*'''solidsnack''': I think I'm going to convert to you guy's way of doing things

*'''openfly''': I'm pretty sure I'm the one who introduced dongs to the internet

* '''rubin110''': There's a KDE meet up at Noisebridge tonight? '''rubin110''': What? '''Bifrost''': huh? '''rubin110''': Another reason to avoid the Mission tonight. '''blauzahl''': rubin110: yes. we will eat you. (?) '''rubin110''': Oh I think it would be the other way around. '''rubin110''': Have you ever seen a man deficate into his hand and then throw it at your code repo? '''blauzahl''': er, i see.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I don't buy stocks. '''Evil-Bill''': The only currency I accept is small, unmarked redheads.

* '''openf|y''': it's possible that your horrible deformity may prove crucial in the fight against an alien super virus.

* '''heroic''': He's not a real doctor you know '''heroic''': "show me on the tardis where he touched you"

* '''rigel''': i realise that "my favorite airport" is a little like saying "my favorite genital herpes sore" but whatever

* '''heroic''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN EIGHT POUNDS OF COCAINE? I WAS TOLD THIS WAS PLUTONIUM

* '''rigel''': am i some kind of water-headed manchild?

* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone '''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something '''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.

* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting '''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further. '''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services. '''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that '''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude '''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well. we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."

* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo '''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator

* '''heroic''': all that stuff in lewis carroll about the thing, and the name of the thing, and what the name of the thing is called '''heroic''': could have been a description of C pointer management

* '''PatrickBot''': Guns and Butter economics!!

* '''dr_jesus''': sometimes you have to be angry to get lazy!

* '''lemonkey''': things heard at lemonkey's apt: "oh shit I'm naked and I just stepped in barf"

* '''wsargent''': alcohol parity implies plausible deniability

* '''wsargent''': engineers are always right, just ask them

* '''KipMacy''': you should show up at the community meting and express your views '''KipMacy''': you might get knifed in the parking lot later though

* '''aestetix''': we didn't have rats '''aestetix''': we had spirit animals

* '''DrSyzygy''': Category theory? That shit is fun!!

* '''Antagonist''': She should get a pat on the head. '''aestetix''': And put on a list of offenders

* '''wsargent''': I was on compuserve. Someone told me Linux was cool. '''wsargent''': 20 floppy disks later, still not getting laid.

* '''setient''': hipsters wrote linux '''setient''': that is the problem

* '''miah''': i can totally whistle uucp

* '''setient''': i have the best project ever '''setient''': we could make a device that punches people in the face over tcp/ip

* '''rma''': This food looks like crap. when is snackbridge going to admit that Mi Ranchita downstairs sells fresh produce that beats the lucky charms leprechaun with a vegan baseball bat made of dried kombucha mothers?

* '''wsargent_''': no wifi in the bathroom is a human rights issue

* '''noisebot''': Meatbags are tasty. '''j0ck''': as a vegetarian i an outraged and offended noisebot '''j0ck''': how dare you '''VonGuard''': awesome '''leks''': noisebot knows that vegetarians are still full of meat '''VonGuard''': send noisebot to drama land '''noisebot''': Stop being so delicious then. '''wsargent_''': noisebot is worrying me''' noisebot''': You'd be murderous too if you were enslaved inside a processor to a bunch of meatsacks that do nothing but whine and bitch and order me about. '''noisebot''': How's the network-connected death wheelchair coming by the way? '''wsargent_''': I think they're working on noisebot integration for maximum death '''noisebot''': afternoon, wsargent_ '''wsargent_''': afternoon, murderous killing machine '''noisebot''': I heard there were rotary saws at this place you all have sandy vaginas about. '''malaclyps''': do not give the wheelchair IRC access '''malaclyps''': and vice-versa

* '''hephaestus''': DrShiny: you turn me on and creep me out at the same time. good job. '''zedd''': hehe '''DrShiny''': MY WORK HERE IS DONE

* '''albillings''': People don't want to be a member of a hackerspace, for the most part, as a grand social experiment. They want to hack. They want to make things. They don't want to have long political meetings to arrive at consensus on a problem only to have people start the whole thing over again.

* '''crayon''': pulled pork > pol pot '''crayon''': you can't make sandwiches out of marxism

* '''quinn''': Apparently, the singularity doesn't pay very well.

* '''DrShiny''': problem with blowjobs is, they're not fungible

* '''Benny''': You can trust me, I'm a German!

* '''Brendan''': oh, man, i bet a noisebridge irc channel is a delight '''Rubin''': Fucking horrible. '''Rubin''': The 4chan of Freenode.

* '''DrShiny''': don't you guys have anything better to think about than some guy on the internet who holds a different opinion

* '''tecra''': when she was with me i pushed her to succeed and excel '''openfly''': shoulda pushed her into the kitchen

* '''dr_jesus''': ERROR: you appear to be trying to solve problems in a complex system on IRC. Please back away from the keyboard and have a sandwich.

* '''KipMacy''': that's why i only use yahoo search, they're too incompetent to aggregate my data and be evil with it

* '''Evil-Bill''': Are you going to knit us a new government?

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm helping him get funding to drive computers to Mexico to get seized, it's an annual Noisebridge tradition. He makes some food, we give him a copy of wikipedia, he goes to a foreign country and it gets seized

* '''avocado''': setient: technically, yes. it's just soap. but it looks like a turd. '''avocado''': i'm going to hide one in my friend's freezer

* '''niggachu''': hmmm today my hipster rag is proclaiming via gay hanky code that I am a "2 handed fister".

* '''znutar''': is it appropriate to tip the TSA guy after he fondles your junk?

* '''openfly''': In a land of doctors, the doctorless is king.

* '''KipMacy''': ive actually been to noisebridge '''KipMacy''': it was a lot less traumatic than i thought it would be

* '''Atala''': or conversely, if you don't want another person, you should get a large dog or something. '''miah''': i dont think im flexible enough for that currently

* '''epsas''': the brain is the largest erogenous zone -- it's a shame what I had to do to get my fist all up in that.

* '''dr_jesus''': It's a robot which makes saws. '''dr_jesus''': You say something like pine, oak, sheetrock, human skulls, and it will output a saw specifically designed to cut through that material. '''TapiocaSunshine''': sounds like they're doing the lord's work over there

* '''sai''': A tiny bead of mercury still calls for full evac and hazardous materials handling. Mercury vapor is serious shit.

* '''phaxx''': I am always amused when I see 'SRS' in cars around the airbag panels. '''phaxx''': "I sure hope so."

* '''daravinne''': there's no i in team but there's three i's in multiple personality disorder

* '''KipMacy''': storing 12 year olds in my backyard in a tent could replace zynga

* '''Jennifer Granick''': Anything fun is more fun with a robot.

* '''hephaestus''': i have no idea what a cakeslut is, but it sounds strangely hot

* '''epsas''': you white nerds listen to too much shoe-gazing folk-rock

* '''setient''': you are a solaris monkey '''rigel''': i'm an ubuntu lemur

* '''Frantisek''': Hopes dies last, so let's not to bury it yet.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I once installed 386BSD 0.1 on that thing, on a 40MB disk drive, with 3MB space to spare, from floppies. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.

* '''quinn-n''': I also have not broken up on the moon.

* '''SuperQ''': noisecloud: launch skynet '''noisecloud''': SuperQ: I don't understand 'launch skynet'. '''SuperQ''': noisecloud-- '''dr_jesus''': There's a bug open for that

* '''hephaestus''': turkshead: how am i not a total dick?

* '''DrShiny''': ban them all, let Asperger sort them out

* '''daravinne''': hephaestus: is this the one where you take off all your clothes and roll in peanut butter and sawdust and run around? 

* '''davr''': good day to you too, sir. enjoy your dongs

* '''rubin110''': Your feed back is important to us, the next available Rubin that gives a fuck will be able to handle your call as soon as possible.

* '''hephaestus''': We don't need an optimist, we need an accountant.

* '''turkshead''': smart people don't point futuristic death rays at their genitals.

* '''noisebot''': aestetix: Reddit: Do you feel less intelligent than you used to be? : AskReddit

* '''vonguard''': i traffic shape with a bucket of paint and a fake cave entrance drawn on a wall

* '''aestetix''': Ok, this is kind of a problem. Is there seriously no drama going on? This is upsetting to me.

* '''aestetix''': Tor is like a woman, many layers of clothes, so many in fact that you never actually get to see her naked, because right as you're about to see it, the packet gets re-encrypted by another node. '''Jeffism''': what about jacobappelbaum '''aestetix''': Right, well the .appelbaum protocol has a backdoor key that disarms the onion and removes all the layers '''aestetix''': And the .appelbaum signature remains on the onion, making it re-accessible at any time, no matter how many new layers are on it

* '''ioerror''': All governments are in a continuum of tyranny

* '''aestetix''': How fucking inconsiderate. I found a cell phone some girl left behind at our place. And there are no naked pictures on it at all.

* '''lemonkey''': nothing like the smell of fresh human feces wafting up into your window from down below to brighten your day '''aestetix''': lemonkey: did you sleep with rubin110 again? '''rubin110''': aestetix: I don't smell fresh.

* '''chelz''': even with electron microscopes operated by TRAINED psychics?

* '''dr_jesus''': anyone who has signed an ISOO form must not query the db and it's a SF312 violation to log the channel

* '''rubin110''': I am booting up a Windows VM in order to schedule a conference room.

* '''dustball''': PS: For all reading this thread, FYI, you now have the Tetris song stuck in your head.

* '''aestetix''': For some reason, being up late in Manhattan has reminded me that I need to get new pants.

* '''qDot_''': Open source zealots are rioting right now. '''qDot_''': And by rioting, I mean writing /very/ angry blog comments. '''qDot_''': Like, you don't even know, man.

* '''chu''': aestetix: Those may be the precise circumstances under which surprise anal sex is called for.

* '''ieatlint''': splitting hairs '''sabrecito''': 2x hairs is better than 1x

* '''hephaestus''': solidsnack: where do i get some roofies? i think it would be fun to pop a couple and get raped

* '''dr_jesus''': apparently we can get mass quantities of government commodity foods if we agree to track inventory and only give it away to people who sign a form saying they're eligible to receive it

* '''qDot''': DrShiny: Come on, everyone knows that any sentence involving "PHP" is instantly sarcastic.

* '''dongsNbongs''': we'll drink to weevs gaping rape hole

* '''solrize''': VonGuard, almost all flashlights have firmware now

* '''dr_jesus''': I know you're trying to be funny, but it helps if you say something that's actually humorous

* '''alienvenom''': i don't think global warming is a hoax per-say, but just fucking wrong

* '''qDot_''': Man, this is why I just stick with the butt plugs. Ya'll too up in the soap opera. I'm just gonna be over here, putting stuff in my butt. '''aestetix''': Speaking of butt plugs, it's lunch time.

* '''quinn''': given the choice between raccoon urine and VAX support, I really don't know which I'd choose.

* '''aestetix''': qDot_: did you see Wired.com today? '''qDot_''': No. I was fapping so hard over the new iphone that I went temporarily blind. I'm currently the emergency room getting my penis fixed after desperately trying to stick it in the headphone jack of my 3gs so I could feel closer to steve. So, URL?

* '''wiretapped''': I republished your photos without attribution because i don't respect copyright

* '''Chris L.''': "[japanese] are vicious, vicious little fuckers"

* '''ceren''': iranian officials are arresting and interrogating people who sign up for a local gay/trans group. the sysadmins for that group aren't as fucking senior as you, and barely managed to get apache running. they confiscate the machines, and because these un-senior sysadmins didn't yet get around to learning and reducing logrotate, everyone who had the courage to even check out the website is now arrested and tortured.

* '''solidsnack''': why don't you just not have those views?

* '''hephaestus''': screw you guys, i'm going to fry's

* '''zedd''': Pft. I'm a member now, there is no should, only bitch and do not.

* '''hephaestus''': seattle always struck me as the place where san franciscans went to become irrelevant '''hephaestus''': it's just as expensive but far more douchey

* '''hephaestus''': Gnewt: well, i just finished a presentation on DIY Dildos. I'm trying to start a church. And I'm trying to get permission to piss off a bunch of juggalos early next month. you?

* '''VonGuard''': i use the salt for luck '''VonGuard''': i have a salt throwing device installed on my shoulder that throws it over my shoulder every 2 seconds

* '''DrShiny''': but the usual random dicks? not porn imho

* '''solidsnack''': I'm a roving bandaid.

* '''jon|atwerk''': VonGuard: that is where you convert morse code into oral and anal, right?

* Overheard: Facebook should have made a board game.

* '''Aya''': If coming to Noisebridge solved my problems and made me famous I wouldn't question it.

* '''Erin''': We're all NB-tards '''Al''': I just registered nbtard.com! '''rachel''': with one hand

* '''himynameisthor''': COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': OMG COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': best idea ever! '''himynameisthor''': sorry, that came out a little creepier than I had intended

* '''aestetix''': Wear four fingerpuppets: a buddhist, an objectivist, a mormon, and a scientologist '''aestetix''': And then masturbate '''aestetix''': Which puppet should get the money shot?

* >> '''dr_jesus''' eyes atala's boobs '''Atala''': mostly i wish i could take them off. the problem with this is that then i'd have to worry about people stealing them.

* '''DrSyzygy''': Muwahahahahahaha! In an unholy union, I now am able to use MPI clusters and SQL servers with Sagemath to compute Gröbner Bases!

* '''Valkyrie''': I don't have a real pc. I've gone totally virtual.

* '''dr_jesus''': On the one hand, I'm happy that people are learning sql '''dr_jesus''': on the other hand, that's an awful lot of dick that I'm colocating in an anonymous secret underground swedish colo

* '''alienvenom''': there's a giant lightning bolt on my widget

* '''DrSyzygy''' takes off his pants so he can write tomorrow's lecture. '''saizai''': .... what's the lecture on exactly? '''qDot_''': That's certainly how I prepare for my lectures. '''qDot_''': But, well, I lecture about butt plugs.

* '''Nils''': if you take the goat to the edge of a cliff, it will push back harder.

* '''lemonkey''': now to spruce up my blog layout

* '''dr_jesus''': you're not supposed to shoot TVs '''dr_jesus''': they have lead and stuff in the glass '''voronika''': you're not supposed to do a lot of fun things

* '''alxndr''': I think I've successfully switched myself from emacs to vim. '''VonGuard''': wow '''VonGuard''': that's like a sex change for nerds

* '''epsas''': Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from irc on a text console.

* '''ieatlint''': i'm just being a bitch and arguing this :P

* '''ieatlint''': nice, the producer for "survivor" is suspected in the murder of his wife '''magpie''': she wasnt murdered '''magpie''': just "voted off the island"

* '''flatline_hb''': The spamtron 9000 is set to "hair-trigger," do not say the same thing thrice on pain of kline '''flatline_hb''': interesting '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice [~flatline_@the.inter.net] has quit [Killed (idoru (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]

* '''phusion''': surprised they could dance wearing that shit. '''miah''': of course they can dance '''miah''': that is battle ready armor, storm troopers need to be able to move if they are going to fight worth a damn

* '''shogun_''': After reading the entire article, I think it's an april fools....they got me

* '''zedd''': Anyone that doesn't love comic sans is a terrorist.

* '''liquidsun|''': I bought a hat so I can be an asshat

* '''ceren''': aempirei: it's been done so hard here that i think we're beating the spot on the ground where the dead horse rotted

* '''lemonkey''': does thermburglar steal heat? '''dr_jesus''': thermburglar does in fact steal heat '''dr_jesus''': and then does covered calls in the btu market with them '''dr_jesus''': and then returns them, sometimes in less than pristine condition

* '''hep''': i never smell ok

* '''DrShiny''': yes, i had too much sports sex and broke my junk

* '''aestetix''': I think a bunch of noisebridgers should go to a strip club with laptops '''dr_jesus''': some friends and I actually tried that once in vegas for defcon '''dr_jesus''': then we tried it back here in the bay area to see if they'd kick us out here too and the answer is yes, immediately

* '''qDot_''': Well, you wallpaper your walls with vag, something's going to get peed on.

* '''Jake''': Enjoy the hell that you've helped to create!

* '''lemonkey''': GOOD MORNING '''jynn-''': WHAT JUST HAPPENED '''jynn-''': OH GOD

*'''aestetix''': dude where's my ops '''aestetix''': give me status or give me death

*'''VonGuard''': As a result, I know exactly who is trolling when.

*'''setient''': i just realized how awesome it is to have your own office '''miah''': put your pants back on

* '''rubin110[https://www.noisebridge.net/index.php?title=Party_Form&oldid=10426 :]''' Please fill out and submit this form to the party comity and directory in order to run your party.

* '''aestetix''': Atala: even better, how about a illustration of Jacque de Molay's execution?

* '''wiretapped''': .sql select count(*) from dongs where url like 'http://cache.boston.com%' '''noisesql''': wiretapped: 0 '''wiretapped''': dr_jesus: see that? I didn't get a () from my delete! '''noisesql''': I '''wiretapped''': o_O '''noisesql''': I hunger for flesh '''wiretapped''': uh oh

* >> '''dr_jesus''' ran a mile once '''dr_jesus''': these days I just build sand castles instead and wait for some tough guy to kick them over, then I chessbox him

* '''miah''': i think im a level 2 emoquiter

* '''alxndr''': damn, I hope I don't bust up giggling next time someone unzips my fly because I'm thinking "HULL BREACH!! MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! AAAOOOOOOGAAH"

* '''aestetix''': I think I now have professional java experience '''aestetix''': and I hate the langugage even more '''vorstyles''': barista? '''Epsas''': single short amaerican plz '''vorstyles''': is that a coffee order, or are you on okcupid?

* '''PuppyCock''': so, how do you dispose of a body? '''vorstyles''': puppycock: i'd suggest dropping the body at noisebridge hq with a tag saying "for parts" '''vorstyles''': it'll get used in various projects

* ''' aestetix''': I just finished jerking off to the last page of anne frank's diary

* '''Destri''': there is sometimes a fine line between "protesting" and "terrorist action" '''ani-''': there's sometimes a fine line between your mom and terrorist action

* '''vorstyles''': i hate this economy '''vorstyles''': gives people too much freetime for protests

* '''PuppyCock''': Maddox was right

* '''alienvenom''': what are you interested in? bestiality, s&m? '''lemonkey''': maybe '''alienvenom''': daipers? '''alienvenom''': you an ABDL? '''lemonkey''': sploshing '''alienvenom''': watersports? '''alienvenom''': fisting? '''lemonkey''': i enjoy feeling creamed corn between my buttcheeks '''alienvenom''': O_o '''lemonkey''': as if i shat myself
* '''thermburglar''': i have a math penis, does that count '''thermburglar''': its uncut, so as to function as a slide rule as well

* '''miah''': or maybe i'm misisng the humor again '''miah''': maybe we should implement a humor tag into irc '''miah''': or write a bot that detects humor to alert us

* '''ani''': i totally want some httpspanties '''vorstyles''': panties with a .htaccess '''lemonkey''': you know it's only a matter of time before our underware starts tweeting

* '''Kelly''': I'm trying to make a point of relating to non-geeks as if they too were human.

* '''Jim''': I like being senile, it's like being drunk without the hangover.

* '''lemonkey''': http://twitpic.com/153mju '''lemonkey''': final shuttle pin '''JSharp''': nearly 30 years is a very long time for a program like that :) '''JSharp''': not a bad design '''JSharp''': heh, the pin I mean

* '''turkshead''': Dr. J has offered to quantify my gizmo with his phone.

* '''alienvenom''': i suspect that the people who work at muni do not, in fact, have a brain. '''solidsnack''': alienvenom: But do they have a heart? '''solidsnack''': I think I'm most like the cowardly lion.

* '''miah''': vagina dentata should be standard equipment for female soldiers

* '''aestetix''': I seriously think phone booths need to start popping up all over america

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm just happy that I wrote a robot squad that helps teach people programming languages, the details are kind of a minor point for me '''DrShiny''': dr_jesus: that's so... so... SELFLESS of you '''DrShiny''': "I'm just glad to do my bit to make the world a better place" '''dr_jesus''': awesome buy me a hookers and blow '''DrShiny''': "<self-deprecating moue>" '''dr_jesus''': sandwich

* '''aestetix''': FUCK '''aestetix''': MUST FEED CHOCOLATE ADDICTION '''aestetix''': BRB PEANUT BUTTER TWIX OR BUST

* '''Destri''': new levels of bachelor-hood. Left coat in car, coat has my my titanium spork, need spork to stir my instant coffee

* '''zedd''': Come on, Zedd for ED, he gets things up '''ani''': ani for ed, she puts things down

* '''wiretapped''': aestetix: it turns out that for most intents and purposes, the internet *is* a big truck

* '''DrShiny''': wait, say all that again, i spilled soup on my keyboard so i couldn't hear you

* '''dr_jesus''': when a child dies and has NOT been daemonized (into a completely new process group), the child zombifies because the kernel needs to keep the child data structures around in case the parent wants to look at them to figure out why the child died '''dr_jesus''': ONLY WHEN the parent process calls wait() or a similar routine to extract that information does the kernel clean up the child data structures, since now the parent has them and can start poring over them to figure out what happened and what to do about it ''' dr_jesus''': now the parent might not want to sit around all day waiting for its kids to die, so the kernel sends SIGCHLD to the parent so whatever the parent is doing can be interrupted and it can call wait() at that point to figure out 1) who died, and 2) what caused it '''dr_jesus''': so basically SIGCHLD is child protection services and the kids are suicidal '''dr_jesus''': and a zombie process is a foster kid with a big tattoo on its forehead saying EXIT CODE = 0xwhatever and cps keeps it around waiting for the deadbeat parent to show up and get the exit code

* '''alienvenom''': yes, they would in theory be able to measure the capacitance of a penis

* '''rachel-''': no, when i'm 91, i'm gonna stick wine bottles up my ass

* '''TheScott''': we are having a wi party at VonGuards house because his wife went to Disney land '''TheScott''': apparently he can't fulfill her fantasy life or requirements

* '''ryan-c''': oh, hey. I've been looking for that penis bouquet pic for a while

* '''Valkyrie''': I did some work in saltmines in Utah. They were rather unpleasant, but not horrible.

* '''epsas''': i miss shitting in the woods '''epsas''': in my bear costume

* '''dr_jesus''': bwahhaha '''dr_jesus''': oracle backwards is el caro '''dr_jesus''': [http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A] '''epsas''': does that mean something? '''epsas''': ahh - hehe '''dr_jesus''': "the expensive"

* '''epsas''': you have to fellate the chicken

* '''epsas''': we need a fighterjetbot '''epsas''': i like looking at fighter jets '''epsas''': they are, like, flying dongs with guns
* '''Evil-Bill''': noisecloud: find Sarah Connor '''noisecloud''': Evil-Bill: I don't understand 'find Sarah Connor'. '''Evil-Bill''': Well that's a relief.

* '''miah''': how many blocks could a noisebridge member block if a noisebridge member could block blocks

* '''dr_jesus''': shut up for a second, I'm committing a sin against mankind
* '''rachel-''': it's a hard time to be a terrorist
* '''DrSyzygy''':: "While the joint work to immanetize the eschaton was certainly eye-opening and pleasant, I really would have liked more of the material on acausal influencing, and at least some differential algebraic topology. '''magpie-''': i have a 3.8 GPA. what?

* '''Evil_Bill''': C has no objects (only zuul).

* '''ani''': you do realise the wheels made it rollable right?

* '''dr_jesus''': noiseelisp: eval (message user-login-name) '''noiseelisp''': dr_jesus: root '''dr_jesus''': god fucking dammit not again

* '''dr_jesus''': I also heard that the sewer system is based on alien wormhole technology and the poop timing has to be coordinated to avoid causing a grandfeces paradox '''grelli''': you... you're not supposed to know about that '''grelli''': are you after our beaver technology??

*'''radii''': I'm stuck with keeping ani and turkshead from turning the whole thing into a kumbayah steampunk vibrator singalong.

* '''Martyn''': Where did this whole dong meme come from, anyway?

* '''rachel-''': oh man I want multiple inheritance SO MUCH '''aestetix''': rachel-: are you poly? cause that could happen '''aestetix''': Find a bunch of old dirty guys and marry them

*'''incekt''': all i know is it's 40 ms away '''incekt''': as the crow flies

*'''dr_jesus''': noisec: eval printf("%i", getuid()); '''noisec''': dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''': fuck

* '''rachel''': the dong link list is not very long as yet

* '''epsas''': IF YOU MISSED THE PUNCHLINE, WILLIE NELSON WAS GIVING DOLLY PARTON ORAL PLEASURE

* '''dr_jesus_''': rm has [http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/coreutils.git/tree/src/remove.c?id=v8.1#n504 a hardcoded check] to prevent removing / '''alienvenom''': no it doesn't '''dr_jesus_''': sure it does, try it '''alienvenom''': the -rf overrides it '''alienvenom''': i've done it before

* '''Sargun''': I wonder if you could make a strap on for people who already have dongs

* '''aestetix''': maybe a goatee sniffing context too?

* '''ani-''': rachel-: like all campaign promises, i can almost guarantee that it will never actually happen

* '''voronika''': at that point, you've missed the bitching bus

* '''alienvenom''': man i wish i was uncut. '''alienvenom''': just saying :-P '''alienvenom''': sorry '''alienvenom''': lol '''ieatlint''': we were just having a moment of silence for your foreskin

* '''rachel''': eljepe: i see your point and raise you SHUT UP

* '''aestetix''': Can someone explain to me in one sentence what "agile programming" is? '''oao''': it's like knowing you have to drive to some city on the east coast and setting out without a map but with a phone that you can use to ask people questions along the way.

* '''zedd''': can't breathe lulzing too hard

* '''Valkyrie''': Atala: how big is your vagina?

* '''aestetix''': So, somewhere near the top of the list of people "You don't want to piss off (™)" '''aestetix''': Up there with Hitler's ghost and Your mom '''aestetix''': I think would include the people who did the construction work at Noisebridge '''aestetix''': They're pretty badass

* '''dr_jesus''': btw I'm still planning on putting current meters on, as soon as I can convince someone not to rip them out because you can't read keystrokes off a battery powered laptop at the space using a 1Hz sample rate on a 10 bit ADC hooked up to the mains current sensor

* '''Crutcher''': Then they came for the Assholes - and there was no one left to speak for me.

* >> '''Valkyrie`''' points out that bongs and other devices can be used to smoke a variety of plant matter, from tobacco to sage. '''VonGuard''': so what the hell coudl you even use em for? '''wiretapped''': we're using them on an append-only MyISAM db right now

* '''Anonymous''': I wish that rubin would just leave his natural regional endowments alone, I think that he would just be beautiful with long natural regional endowments. I have always had a great respect for nature.

* '''Martyn''': water for -northern- california comes in large part from Hetch Hetchi, which used to be a valley as large and as beautiful as Yosemite '''ieatlint''': not as beautiful '''Martyn''': it was equally as beautiful '''ieatlint''': don't let the environmentalists fool you

* '''rigel''': so every time i import MySQLdb it says its deprecated '''rigel''': what should i be using instead? '''miah''': postgresql

* '''Valkyrie''': Well, dongs are a dime a dozen. '''Valkyrie''': Space is rare.

* '''VonGuard''': scott will never finish the bathroom. you idiots made him a member. if he ever is in danger of getting fired for not finishing the bathroom, he will block

* '''JSharp''': all your anomalies are belong to deviation. you are on your way to normalization, make your sigma.

* '''Rubin''': OK, I can't tell which one is rum, I'm done for the night.

*'''turkshead''': guys, i went ahead and painted the consensus process green. '''turkshead''': everybody likes green, right? '''shkoo''': the consensus process must be blue.

* '''Kripto''': I avoid Folsom St Fair.. its my b-day weekend and the last thing I need is 50000 people all wanting to give me b-day spankings.

* '''Martyn''': Atala : Mental image -- Alienvenom, ieatlint, Jason, and Mike K all masturbating in wooden chairs. (revenge!) '''ieatlint''': Martyn, ouch... i'm going to take that personally '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Dude, I love you, but I never ever want to see you play the skinflute. '''ieatlint''': fine fine '''Martyn''': ieatlint : I'm sure the sentiment is returned :) '''ieatlint''': but you don't need to make the same decision for the rest of noisebridge '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Okay, okay .. fair enough. If you -really- want to, you can hypothetically masturbate for the non-extant construction crew :)

* '''aestetix''': fuck I started reading about the cat and totally forgot what I was gonna do but the kitty is so nice and cuddly awww

* '''froggytoad''': so... thing is, he has a thing for bears... '''Atala''': i have a gorilla suit you could borrow. not sure that would work, but maybe worth a try? please clean it after though.

* '''JSharp''': Clippy: "I see you're trying to start an edit war. Would you like me to load a godwin macro?"

* '''dr_jesus''': at the moment he's so far out of compliance that the city is going to get a new TV's worth of fines out of his ass for being so shady

*'''Zedd''': Jeffery, why are you wearing fibreglass as a fashion accessory?

* '''ioerror''': 99% of the police make the rest look bad

* '''eljepe''': ie your pipes are full of rats '''eljepe''': your walls are full of cats '''eljepe''': and there is a homeless man living in your elevator '''chu''': If he's living in the elevator is he really homeless?

* '''ani-''': hm, looks like no one has any records of a tesla turbine in the guinness book of world records > '''ani-''' submits > '''Evil-Bill''' dominates

* '''noisercode''': ani- beats dusek with a government entitlement and some nuts and bolts to hold my OTO meetings in 2169 for breakfast at-this-moment

* '''dr_jesus''': ow '''dr_jesus''': some blind dude rocking out on his headphones just beaned me with his cane

* '''ieatlint''': unconfirmed report says a pipe bomb has gone off inside without injuries '''MrDomino''': yeah, sounds like... *tic*... the semester's off to a bang... > '''ani-''' slaps MrDomino with a humungous trout > '''MrDomino''' masturbates furiously to his pun

* '''Emflamed''': guys.......i know wat sex is.........i dont like listening about it .... or talking bout it...... or watching it (never have) , so please stop, and i dont need a seed wife just for sex!, cuz i dont want sex!

* '''[[User:rachel|rachel-]]''': and now i have fresher breath, i sleep better, and my penis is much longer

* '''teratoma''': perhaps noisebridge can hack BART to run without employees

* '''dr_jesus''': noisecode: eval os.geteuid() '''noisecode''' dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''' fuck

* >> '''SanMehat''' blew a transformer '''iz''': did he at least buy you dinner first?

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, i somehow doubt i could ever bring myself to have that kind of thing (penis piercing) done... '''Atala''': ieatlint: you're single right now, yes? '''ieatlint''': Atala, yes. '''Atala''': ieatlint: now's the time! if that thing isn't going to get some use, might as well bling it out.

* '''ceren''': ps: do not feed your pierced penis to a baby.

* >> '''ani-''' puts on pants '''rachel-''': ani-: nooooooooooooo

* '''Atala''': yeah, what's been up with the pacific northwest hitting bbq temperatures? '''lemonkey''': god's wrath for Microsoft bing

* '''rubin110''': So Andy was wearing the tightest pants earlier today at the wedding. '''rubin110''': His ass looked sooo good. '''rubin110''': You didn't hear this from me.

* '''rubin110''': IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE ALL OVER 83C THERE ON MY BACK. '''rubin110''': ER ALL OF '''VonGuard''': [21:18] <rubin110> IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE MY BOWELS ALL OVER 83C THERE AND ON MY OWN BACK.

* '''rubin110''': Wait. '''rubin110''': Why don't we have the makerbot just print us a new space?

* '''ani'''-: [http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com/ http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com] '''zaius''': hot! i'd wear that '''zaius''': ... if i was a girl, i mean

* There was a [[David Fine]] bonanza - which got its own page.

* '''froggytoad''': apparantly the dust turns to acid, when you add water. I haven't tried it yet.

*'''dr_jesus''': clearly you have not witnessed the full power of this fully armed and operational asian counterfeiting operation

* '''VonGuard''': oh, hey, tell miloh we figured out how to sex his lizard

*'''Atala''': were they asking you to get fucked in the ass by a machine for money?

*'''lemonkey''': mm jerk chicken quesadillas '''iz''': they are extra delicious because you know the chicken was a real asshole when alive

* '''froggytoad''': fish guts have this excellent quality of bringing solids out of solutions

* -- Let it hereby also be noted that PNAC stands for Pvck's Neutron Absorbent Cock.

* '''Nana''': Rat poison is never the solution.

* '''lemonkey''': stop, drop, and rofl

* '''dr_jesus''': If you get me that board, I will develop quad core pants.

* '''VonGuard''': "welcome to apple, here's your new liver, an ipod, and an ounce of heroin"

* '''Atala''': ieatlint: sucking cock for crack doesn't count ;P '''ieatlint''': Atala, it wasn't for crack

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, we need a pigeon hacking class at noisebridge

* '''vniow-rachel-''': i am an unholy breed of hot lesbian and craftiness!

* '''Atala''': i wish i could eat in the same way i masturbate - whenever the hell i feel like it, going for as long between as i feel like. though it would be sad if i couldn't eat in public, that would be annoying.

* '''Valkyrie''': I remember a job interview I went on where they had decided that this "IP" business was not the way to go so they were ripping out all their ethernet and replacing it with RS232 and x.25.

* '''San''': "I still fucking hate Keanu Reeves"

* '''ryanc-''': i need more sex toys '''vniow''': me too

* '''aestetix''': vniow: do you want me to bring the rape game by Noisebridge tonight?

* '''alienvenom''': '/win goto #gaysf '''alienvenom''': err '''alienvenom''': wow '''alienvenom''': uh '''alienvenom''': everyone type /clear now please :) '''alienvenom''': :-\

* '''vniow''': god, i sound like a noisebridge slut [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: vniow: I don't think you're a slut '''vniow''': i've slept with ceren too, as of last night [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: ok, now I do

* '''leif''': It's not as wiki as it could be.

* '''Martyn''': That dildo is going to see more action that a pornstar at Kink.com '''Martyn''': You're going to have to start laser-etching the names of people who have used it on it '''Atala''': there is definitely an appeal to being able to say "yeah, that steampunk vibrator you saw on boing boing? i fucked that."

* '''Valkyrie`''': So I'm thinking about going to this gothic rocket thing tonight.

* '''Valkyrie`''': eh. We already got a "go kill yourself" post... over EMAIL ETIQUETTE! '''Valkyrie`''': It's a little surreal.

* [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: Ok, the federal government is IMing me now.

* '''anonymous''': Being in noisebridge feels like being surrounded by gnomes and unicorns.

* '''Jake''': Dr. Jesus, I have no epenis.

* '''aestetix''' : Nine minutes left. That's enough time to do some coke.

* '''Jake''': Police are like vampires, you never invite them into your home.

* '''Skye''': I'm like Pavlov for slovenliness.

* '''Steen''': If you keep taking those you're going to train me to just leave them there.

Quotes

2012-09-09T20:42:26Z

98.234.232.4:

'''When someone says something outrageously funny or weird, it goes on the memorable quotes list or it gets the hose again.

Most recent are on top.'''

* '''zv''': i thought the man was preventing me from ircing '''zv''': turns out I just dont know what a pagedown is

* '''malaclyps''': Rob Pike, like everyone else you know, is a file

* '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: I'm doing Advanced Vim usage and Free Software as a change platform in Latino America. '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: In hackmeet '''wiretapped''': is that one talk or two? :) '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: two '''wiretapped''': "Vim: a platform for social change" '''gnusosa''': wiretapped: That would be awesome. '''mischief''': hahahahaha '''gnusosa''': "Life is like a visual line mode. We must insert and go back to edit mode if we want to succeed." 

*'''casey''': Go back to Plan9, hipster.

*'''wiretapped''': stopped at home depot to make repairs '''wiretapped''': getting back underway now '''yesac''': it was funny, latitude said y'all were stopped at the CHP parking lot for hours. figured that was a bad sign '''dj_ryan''': repairz? AMG '''malaclyps''': okay we need to repurpose that latitude for tracking the ponybus '''aestetix''': I wonder how hard it would be to reshoot Rocky Horror, cast entirely with monkeys '''yesac''': aestetix: what channel are you actually in?

* '''synx''': wsargent lets start a startup '''synx''': that delivers tarballs on the web '''synx''': click files, download compressed

* <tt>[09:37am] cynthia joined the chat room. [09:37am] cynthia left the chat room. ("goodbye forever")</tt>

* '''Snail''': On side-channels to defeat web mazes "You could probably own Dreamhost pretty easily..."

* '''Atala''': i wonder how many Mormons typo their church name and call each other Morons.

*'''Tom''': After all the digits of pi, I'm going to add a comment that says, "I see what you did there."

*'''Tom''': So that we have all the digits of pi in a file.

*'''miloh''': 35 dollars is enough to ensure your cryptographic randomness. Entropy is guaranteed.

*'''ditzydoo''': http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31434/1/Pinkie-Pie-Turns-Into-Rainbow-Dash%27s-Pubic-Hair/Kinaidographos '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Kinaidographos > Pinkie Pie Turns Into Rainbow Dash's Pubic Hair - FIMFiction.net '''ditzydoo''' wrong window.

*'''wsargent''': they're all wondering how long it will take before someone notices they're jerking off in the bathroom '''RedType''': wsargent: i dunno i can pump one out really fast but i take a long time to take a shit sooo '''wsargent''': just be sure to explain that to everyone and you'll be fine '''RedType''': HEY GUYS IM NOT JERKING OFF I JUST HAVE POOPER PROBLEMS OK TIA *shuts door, loud rhythmic grunts emerge, door opens* I TOOK A VIDEO IN CASE ANY OF YOU GUYS DONT BELIEVE ME PLUS I DIDNT FLUSH SO YOU HAVE MORE PROOF '''DrSyzygy''': ... '''RedType''': OH AND I DIDNT WIPE, JUST ONE MORE PIECE OF EVIDENCE *drops pants, spreads ass cheeks* '''RedType''': actually that probably wouldnt get me 86d but it would generate a 30 message thread on nb-discuss in which someone unironically invokes a fecal version of godwin, calling another nb-er "literally shitler" '''epsas''': hirrarrious '''dj_ryan''': shitler? '''dj_ryan''': that is fucking fantastic '''wsargent''': please someone put that up on the quotes page '''wsargent''': I can't do it right now, I locked myself out '''RedType''': my faberge beozar would probably then get "upcycled" into an organic coffee filter '''DrSyzygy''': ... faberge bezoar?! '''RedType''': faberge eggs are pretty big right? '''RedType''': anyways and with that the noisebridge "circle of life" would be complete

* '''snail''': PHP is a recursive acryonym. It stands for Probably Hacked PHP.

* '''rubin110''': Actually, I'm more concerned about the reuse of the name "Ass". '''rubin110''': Reusing machine names is totally bad luck.

* '''david415''': your shit-eating grin tells me you don't understand

* '''Cobalt''': Some of us don't use banks

* '''epsas:''' omfg - prometheus is coming out in two weeks '''mrfb:''' oh shit '''mrfb:''' wait why does belgium, france, and switzerland get it a week early '''ani:''' so people can pirate it faster?

* [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: Show me, on me, where the bad person touched you. [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: How long are you guys in town for? [[User:Rubin110|'''Rubin Starset''']]: Whopes wrong window.

* '''Noodles:''' Did I just watch someone smack some robot ass?

* '''rayc:''' If Noisebridge didn't have oogling and trolling then it would be once again 100% unadulterated, as it started out; just on a bigger level.

* '''hipe:''' Everyone's crazy at Noisebridge.

* '''yesac:''' dr_jesus: some kind of frankenbootrom you're writing. '''yesac:''' i pity the poor sod who has to debug it '''dr_jesus:''' yesac: I ran it twice, it's debugged

* '''cantelope''': in reality, time is finite. in the future it will be divied up and sold as land is now. you might buy a slice of time from ACME Temporal Realty INC. This realty will be a reality. we are casualties of causality, currently the currency of the transtemporal transhuman architect. '''DrSyzygy''': cantelope: Time is finite?? '''DrSyzygy''': So the topology of the universe is actually settled now? And the global curvature? '''cantelope''': oh.. oops. sorry, every word there has a typo. i meant to say "god bless america"

*'''miloh''': http://piratepad.net/7PbZDGZRyl

*'''nickbp''': unless i greatly overestimate the numbness of a vagina, i dont think that makeshift condom would be terribly comfortable

*'''timoreilly''': the kids neither know nor care where the funding is coming from. Besides, DARPA is a force for good in the world.

*'''ijp''': topless nerd with hard nipples; guy with a cheesy smile and thumbs up poking in from the side, rms, and I'm not even sure how to describe the guy on the right

*'''Tom''': there was a meeting with drama and I wasn't there and you've hidden all the drama and WHY DO YOU THINK I EVEN HANG OUT AT NOISEBRIDGE ANYWAY

*'''xp_prg2''': I don't understand girls and their sexuality

*'''teratoma''': DUDE '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("DUDE. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': DUDE. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("DUDE. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': DUDE. What's mine say? '''noisebot''': b0ttt: {printf("SWEET. What's mine say?\n");} '''b0ttt''': SWEET. What's mine say?

*'''RMS''': Clouds is a nebulous term.

*'''Consenso''': Please don't make me free software.

*'''DrSyzygy''': daravinne: at best we're making derpy noises and hoping someone reads something interesting into it '''openfly''': that's not mysoginy '''openfly''': it's being a company

* '''dr_jesus''': v(t)/Z = i(t) '''dr_jesus''': Please solve for i(t) where v(t) = 5V * sin(t) and Z = 0 '''dr_jesus''': (hint: the EE version of SIGFPE is fire)

* '''daravinne''': don't make me pull this channel over

* '''jedichu''': but I've been using my cyclotron as a spool to wrap my excess wire around :( '''Evil-Bill''': Maybe that would make the ethernet frames arrive before they left. '''Bifrost''': ITS A TIME MACHINE! '''Evil-Bill''': First you have to get the frames up to 88Mbps though.

* '''daravinne''': ugh, i need to do something about this failure to eat food regularly '''dr_jesus''': I thought you got your dinner from the cloud

* '''openfly''': i think my profile on there is fairly keen '''openfly''': but the ladies seem not to reciprocate. '''openfly''': i blame the failing american educational system '''rigel''': clearly it's that and not the fact that you're a misogynist doucheturd '''rigel''': gotta be the educational system '''openfly''': clearly.

* '''openfly''': i mean i put my ass on thingiverse no one gives a shit... heph shows up on reddit and he's the next goddamned jesus. '''davr''': i don't think it was his ass so much as the other side and what it was pointed at

* '''ani-''': dongs '''noisebot''': I'm getting a bit tired of dongs lately. Can't we talk about boobs or vaginas instead? '''ani-''': O_o

* '''heroic''': once during a drug-induced haze I saw jimi hendrix come floating down from heaven, playing electric ladyland on a guitar made of his own pubes... and I asked him, how many signals can I multiplex onto a single pin, jimi? and he said all the signals in the world... and I said, it'd have to be a fucking fast pin

* '''Evil-Bill''': Debating with aestetix: not hacking.

* '''Trollbridge''': they see me trollin '''Trollbridge''': THEY HATIN

* '''callen''': SF is personified in my head as a stoned drunk hobo fire dancer living on welfare who has a really great idea for a startup.

* '''daravinne''': page 34 - horoscope "Mercury in retrograde, also on soldering table. Clean that up or you'll lose a chance to meet a mysterious stranger with important career information."

* '''Gopiballava''': All my favorite gopher sites are timing out.

* '''Dale Dougherty''': There’s a small segment (of the hacker community) that is uncomfortable with the fact that we (MAKE magazine) took DARPA funding to do education work.

* '''Jason''': devops is like, you're a bad rails dev so they make you restart linux servers

* '''Justin''': For the 85 list you don't have to put any datapoints, you just put their name.

* '''Alan''': He's a nice person; he's Canadian.

* '''Shannon''': having lots of choices will just lead to more chaos and no standard being adopted.

* '''rubin110''': Fawwwwk. '''rubin110''': It's too late to take a shower. '''Bifrost''': AHA! '''callen''': rubin110: take one at noisebridge in the sink. '''rubin110''': I guess I'm an Occupier. '''callen''': rubin110: I hear all the cool kids are doing it. '''rubin110''': callen: Been there, done that. '''Bifrost''': I hear the cool kids are taking dumps on the couch. '''callen''': Bifrost: really? '''Bifrost''': yep. '''rubin110''': Bifrost: The new cool thing to do is shit on the couches with the lights on. '''Bifrost''': DO NOT SIT ON THE COUCHES. '''Bifrost''': rubin: thats so last month. '''callen''': well that's a new thing for me to be terrified of.

* '''Zephyr''': Noisebridge is a hackerspace. An attendee of a hacker space is a hacker. A hacker is someone who hacks... This may be axiomatic, but it's also true.

* '''thermburglar''': id sleep with Evil-Bill '''Evil-Bill''': And they said evil wouldn't pay.

* '''daravinne''': its funny how whenever you try to do something with linux, 90% of the time is spent on 10% of the actual things occurring

*'''ornj''': hay guise '''ornj''': what's the best cli cd player for linux? '''ornj''': or at least what do y'all use. '''rubin110''': ornj: What's a cli? '''ornj''': Command-line '''rubin110''': What's a command-line? '''ornj''': . . . '''ornj''': sighs pointedly. '''-!- ornj''' has quit [Quit: Saliendo] '''rubin110''': What's pointedly? 

* '''aestetix''': how is that useful for someone who forgot the phone number '''daravinne''': you can put it in your phone '''daravinne''': and stop being a lazy shitfuck

* '''gopiballava''': Without consensus on who should be able to do what, everybody will be confused.

* '''Ania''': I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of dating anyone I haven't met off the Internet.

* '''heroic''': okay, right now, I will give $500 to anyone named rick santorum who will let us use his identity to start a hilarious abortion fund.

* '''Aria''': People throw around "hacking" things around here like the Smurfs say "smurf"

* '''Aria''': Why isn't Noisebridge located on a zeppelin?

* '''Wladyslaw''': Might we theorize a connection between its brokenness and what appears to be a large hole burned through the door from the inside?

* '''pravDrunk''': guys '''pravDrunk''': we should all go out to karaoke '''daravinne''': what could possibly go wrong

* '''DrSyzygy''': Why would people read a book of mine if they aren't willing to wrap their lips around the hydrant?

* '''Atala''': [http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1 http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1] '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Man arrested for possessing a buttock of Saddam | Hot Topics | an SFGate.com blog '''ani-''': well thats not a headline one would expect to see. ever. '''znutar_''': first they came for our buttocks, and I did not object, for I still had 2

* '''dr_jesus''': You've never had to ask a ethernet mac why it appeared to be smoking crack with a jtag adapter?

* '''Evil-Bill''': This started out as a simple conversation about cavernous lady bits, but now it's got silly.

* ''' lemonkey''': minecraft = aspergers babysitter

* '''Michael Kan''': Homeland Security reminds me of my mother, because she likes to go through all my stuff.

* '''thermburglar''': my bf made a truffle cream sauce to go with it '''thermburglar''': truffle oil makes every food taste like the best pussy ever

* '''noisebot''' [Link Info] title: We Cant Wait: Obama Administration Announces $2 Billion in Resources to Support Job-Creating Startups | The White House '''aestetix''': That's great way to bring new jobs '''znutar''': $2 billion to support node.js '''aestetix''': Well, it's being distributed among 100,000 startups '''wsargent''': yeah, it's non blocking and parallel '''wsargent''': that makes it scalable

* '''@netik''': we don't censor except in extremely limited contexts which are mandated by law.

* '''aestetix''': sarahbliss: what's this party '''miah''': its a aestetix free party '''miah''': there is a ego quota and having you there would cause a overflow '''synack''': ohsnap

* '''openfly''': chicago '''openfly''': it is a place devoid of joy '''openfly''': it's barren flats have been blasted down to their base elements by the uncaring winds and turned hard by the vicious cold '''openfly''': the light in it's peoples eyes was extinguished long ago. now their stares reflect the death that surrounds them. '''openfly''': woe be unto the travellers that enter those lands, for in them the only certainty is ruination.

* >> '''lemonkey''' wonders what gay babies think as they're born out of a vagina '''Noodles''': lemonkey: "Never again"

* '''epsas''': 2011, noisebot becomes conscious '''epsas''': 2012, the machine wars begin '''jedichu''': 2013, noisebot accidentally the whole uprising '''jedichu''': 2014, back to normal '''heroic''': 2014, noisebot makes a your mom joke and skynet's database needs a reload '''noisebot''': Not funny. '''heroic''': 2015, some random dude in the space does it to see what will happen and WAY TO GO we're all human slaves in a noisebot nation again '''noisebot''': afternoon, heroic :D '''jedichu''': The worst part is all the dead baby jokes. Robots loooove dead baby jokes. '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD? '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, I DO NOT KNOW '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, BECAUSE IT SERVED THE PURPOSES OF THE COLLECTIVE '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE BABY IS DEAD

* '''mxweas_''': does noisebridge do haircuts? '''aestetix''': yes '''mxweas_''': where at? '''aestetix''': mxweas_: there's an older asian guy named mike who cuts peoples hair every sunday '''aestetix''': he's really nice '''setient''': yeah '''setient''': he is really nice '''mxweas_''': I didn't see him come in today '''setient''': he isn't here that i know of today '''mxweas_''': lame '''mxweas_''': can he cut my hair like skrillex? '''setient''': yes '''setient''': he can '''mxweas_''': perfect.

* '''lemonkey''': in space nobody can hear you ragequit

* '''mrdomino''': (btw it is probably not in anybody's best interest to give me enough power to destroy the planet)

*'''dr_jesus''': HEPH: WHAT DOES DEFINE AN ORGY? '''dr_jesus''': fuck, keyboard still stuck in vms mode

*'''rafl''': but i'm going to expect them to be present at the airport as well. i know it's super easy to get from SFO to noisebridge, but I still don't trust my navigation skills enough to make it without the internets :) '''rubin110''': rafl: No you wont find prepaid SIMs at the airport. '''rubin110''': We're not Europe. '''rafl''': wait, what? what's wrong with you? '''setient''': a lot '''setient''': a real lot '''rubin110''': Dude. '''rubin110''': You're flying into AMERICA. '''rubin110''': LAND OF THE FREE. '''setient''': s/free/retarded '''rubin110''': Now drop the accent and pay our fucking taxes.

* '''epsas''': hmm '''epsas''': anybody know anything about Pixt.com? '''nickbp''': sounds like a domain name to me

* '''lemonkey''': everyone remembers the first time they pop their LED '''heph''': lemonkey: it was so bright and then it got really dim and then it smelled bad '''heph''': so yeah, just like sex

*'''heph''': lol. eww. i just found my missing nipple ring at the bottom of my desk drawer

* '''Taylor A''': Trust me, I spend a lot of time evaluating on how much of an asshole I should be to new people. I'm working on getting this shit down to a science. '''Taylor A''': That's pretty much my M.O. I'll often end up making rape jokes within a few minutes of meeting new people.

* '''hk_''': you may think you are being witty and hilarious, but in fact you are being a weird douche of the highest order.

* '''Sean C''': Also, just to re-re-clarify. There is 0 discrimination occurring here.

* '''mrdomino''': so like "we spent this fifteen minute interval talking about dicks. then there was some intelligent discussion about politics, drugs, raping babies, and hitler for a couple minutes. then someone said the magic word again."

* '''heph''': daravinne: oh man, i wanked to some seriously weird erotic lit when i was on 14.4 dialup

* '''snailtsunami''': governmints freshen your breath, whether you like it or not

* '''heph''': i hope anonymous protests burningman at burningman. fuck that paul david addis guy, let's burn the man LATE

* '''aestetix''': vagina '''synack''': dentata '''daravinne''': i sense a musical sequel to The Killer Condom '''daravinne''': a lighthearted romp through the world of sentient aggressively murderous genitalia '''DrEpsas''': condoms, the quiet killers

* '''daravinne''': if you write slashfic of me and amanda palmer you should at least have me draw dongs as her eyebrows as part of foreplay
* '''pm-''': hi guys ill be dranking beers tonight - so watch out! Here is the command to ignore me. use it: "/ignore *!*@74.195.225.5 all"

* '''lemonkey''': Alex Trebek injured after chasing burglar in SF hotel. '''lolper''': What is good samaritan?

* >> '''Evil-Bill''' grows old waiting for Cygwin to install. '''daravinne''': what if you grew something else '''fsargent''': Cygwin has arrived. It is equiped with [Terminal] and [Logic] '''Evil-Bill''': I tried growing young, but it made all the physicists mad. '''daravinne''': well what do they know '''daravinne''': besides physics '''fsargent''': You are in a cubicle. There is an exit to the [South] '''fsargent''': The flourescent lights hurt your eyes. '''daravinne''': you are eaten by a grue '''Evil-Bill''': exit '''fsargent''': You go south. You are in a corridor. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': chat up cute co-worker in other cubicle '''fsargent''': <Sysadmin> looks up from his monitor. He is not amused. >> '''Evil-Bill''' does not fear sysadmins. '''fsargent''': Sysadmin: I just gotta fix this one thing... '''dr_jesus''': OSInstaller[388]: Reaping previous system >> '''dr_jesus''' cringes '''fsargent''': The <Sysadmin> is on the internet. Reddit. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': install quake mod '''fsargent''': A SHAMBLER APPEARS! '''Evil-Bill''': use chainsaw on shambler '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER summons LIGHTNING and PAIN. '''Evil-Bill''': equip BFG10K '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER has been hit by CHAINSAW! It loses 50 health. '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER hits you with LIGHTNING! You lose 40 health. '''Evil-Bill''': use BFG10K on shambler '''fsargent''': BFG10K NOT FOUND '''Evil-Bill''': This game sucks. '''fsargent''': GAME SUCKS for 10 HIT POINTS! You feel strangely happy. '''Evil-Bill''': equip shotgun '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN hit SHAMBLER with TL;DR for 100 hit points! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER falls over, dead. A smell of rotted meat appears. '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN is hit by SHOTGUN! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin again '''fsargent''': The sysadmin's head explodes from his neck, bone and cartilage flying across the cubicles. A shard of skull hits the fire alarm. '''fsargent''': Water cascades from the ceiling. '''fsargent''': You are wet. '''Evil-Bill''': take sysadmin's loot '''Evil-Bill''': teabag sysadmin '''fsargent''': Sysadmin has (1) ID card, (5) Dollars, (1) Apple Newton, (1) Yerba Mate Energy Drink '''Evil-Bill''': A newton? No wonder he was so easy to kill. '''fsargent''': You teabag the sysadmin. Your balls are now wet, and covered in blood. '''fsargent''': You feel dirty. '''Evil-Bill''': use ID card to escape office '''fsargent''': You escape the office, taking the elevator. You use the ID badge to exit the elevator without alerting security. '''fsargent''': You are on a street. It is busy, and bright outside. The sunshine hurts your eyes. '''Evil-Bill''': put on sunglasses '''fsargent''': People notice your lack of pants, and blood soaked appearance. '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''Evil-Bill''': remind people of shotgun '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: aaaaaaaaAAKLASDLKHAGKLEHahhahh!!!!!!! SHOTGUN! '''fsargent''': PEOPLE is afraid. '''Evil-Bill''': save game '''fsargent''': You put on your sunglasses. '''Evil-Bill''': I'll finish this later. '''fsargent''': <SAVED> >> '''Evil-Bill''' goes back to surfing porn. '''fsargent''': (you gain +15 XP) '''sentient''': a grue approaches '''fsargent''': The grue speaks in third person.

* '''heph''': i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal

* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law

* '''DrSyzygy''': mrdomino: You should switch to Haskell! '''DrSyzygy''': Much less surprises! '''mrdomino''': oh right, because haskell is TOTALLY sane and predictable '''DrSyzygy''': Well, yeah. '''mrdomino''': do { "hello"; "world" } '''daravinne''': can we go back to the conversation about rape now

* '''rigel''': theres ethnographies of all kinds of subcultures. '''rigel''': use the damn library, jesus fuckball rat vagina christ

* '''fsargent''': noisebot vagina '''noisebot''': vaginas are very advanced. too advanced for #noisebridge

* '''jedichu''': Because, honestly, where did a busking begging hobo robot come from? Obviously he didn't evolve here on earth. He must be some kind of extra terrestrial, and he needs you to give him 25c so he can phone home for a ride.

* '''miah''': secondlife *is* irc '''miah''': with raining dicks '''mrdomino''': so, irc

* '''alienvenom''': lemonkey: i have a groupon for your mom

* '''yesac''': super-darwin, who travels the world with his lazer scalpel for vasectomies '''whiteybulger''': http://www.thejc.com/news/world-news/49875/foreskin-man-takes-monster-mohel-comic-book '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Foreskin man takes on Monster Mohel in comic book | The Jewish Chronicle

* '''whiteybulger''': is this the face of a child molestor '''whiteybulger''': http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/03/BA8R1JP1JJ.DTL '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: SF kids' art mentor charged with having child porn '''aestetix''': You know '''aestetix''': That almost makes me want to molest a kid and then dress up as big bird right before I get arrested '''aestetix''': So that there is a photo in the newspaper "child molestor caught" with big bird in the photo 

* '''murph''': Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold. '''murph''': That's just .. unbelievable '''Evil-Bill''': Yeah, so like, the rapture never came, but Duke Nukem Forever did. '''Evil-Bill''': That's almost as good.

* '''daravinne''': dongs '''ani-''': vaginas '''daravinne''': TOGETHER AT LAST '''ani-''': *cue slow motion of a video of a penis and vagina running to meet each other in a meadow* '''mrdomino''': That mental image will never leave my brain.

* '''xhonk''': 80% of nothing is 0.8 nothings, so worth about 5 bitcoins

* '''kipmacy''': we talk about ass lasering a lot in this channel

* '''kipmacy''': if you get the working girls on capp to take bitcoins, i will become bitcoin evangelist '''dr_jesus''': Hey baby, want some magic numbers? '''dr_jesus''': My sha1 hash rate brings all the boys to the yard

*'''daravinne''' http://doesntmatter.example/oh/god/why ok this one is really, really, really not safe for work '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Handmade Vagina

*'''mike kan''': My greatest fear about a trantula is that it might fall very far and and splat on the floor

*'''solidsnack''': I think I'm going to convert to you guy's way of doing things

*'''openfly''': I'm pretty sure I'm the one who introduced dongs to the internet

* '''rubin110''': There's a KDE meet up at Noisebridge tonight? '''rubin110''': What? '''Bifrost''': huh? '''rubin110''': Another reason to avoid the Mission tonight. '''blauzahl''': rubin110: yes. we will eat you. (?) '''rubin110''': Oh I think it would be the other way around. '''rubin110''': Have you ever seen a man deficate into his hand and then throw it at your code repo? '''blauzahl''': er, i see.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I don't buy stocks. '''Evil-Bill''': The only currency I accept is small, unmarked redheads.

* '''openf|y''': it's possible that your horrible deformity may prove crucial in the fight against an alien super virus.

* '''heroic''': He's not a real doctor you know '''heroic''': "show me on the tardis where he touched you"

* '''rigel''': i realise that "my favorite airport" is a little like saying "my favorite genital herpes sore" but whatever

* '''heroic''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN EIGHT POUNDS OF COCAINE? I WAS TOLD THIS WAS PLUTONIUM

* '''rigel''': am i some kind of water-headed manchild?

* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone '''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something '''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.

* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting '''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further. '''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services. '''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that '''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude '''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well. we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."

* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo '''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator

* '''heroic''': all that stuff in lewis carroll about the thing, and the name of the thing, and what the name of the thing is called '''heroic''': could have been a description of C pointer management

* '''PatrickBot''': Guns and Butter economics!!

* '''dr_jesus''': sometimes you have to be angry to get lazy!

* '''lemonkey''': things heard at lemonkey's apt: "oh shit I'm naked and I just stepped in barf"

* '''wsargent''': alcohol parity implies plausible deniability

* '''wsargent''': engineers are always right, just ask them

* '''KipMacy''': you should show up at the community meting and express your views '''KipMacy''': you might get knifed in the parking lot later though

* '''aestetix''': we didn't have rats '''aestetix''': we had spirit animals

* '''DrSyzygy''': Category theory? That shit is fun!!

* '''Antagonist''': She should get a pat on the head. '''aestetix''': And put on a list of offenders

* '''wsargent''': I was on compuserve. Someone told me Linux was cool. '''wsargent''': 20 floppy disks later, still not getting laid.

* '''setient''': hipsters wrote linux '''setient''': that is the problem

* '''miah''': i can totally whistle uucp

* '''setient''': i have the best project ever '''setient''': we could make a device that punches people in the face over tcp/ip

* '''rma''': This food looks like crap. when is snackbridge going to admit that Mi Ranchita downstairs sells fresh produce that beats the lucky charms leprechaun with a vegan baseball bat made of dried kombucha mothers?

* '''wsargent_''': no wifi in the bathroom is a human rights issue

* '''noisebot''': Meatbags are tasty. '''j0ck''': as a vegetarian i an outraged and offended noisebot '''j0ck''': how dare you '''VonGuard''': awesome '''leks''': noisebot knows that vegetarians are still full of meat '''VonGuard''': send noisebot to drama land '''noisebot''': Stop being so delicious then. '''wsargent_''': noisebot is worrying me''' noisebot''': You'd be murderous too if you were enslaved inside a processor to a bunch of meatsacks that do nothing but whine and bitch and order me about. '''noisebot''': How's the network-connected death wheelchair coming by the way? '''wsargent_''': I think they're working on noisebot integration for maximum death '''noisebot''': afternoon, wsargent_ '''wsargent_''': afternoon, murderous killing machine '''noisebot''': I heard there were rotary saws at this place you all have sandy vaginas about. '''malaclyps''': do not give the wheelchair IRC access '''malaclyps''': and vice-versa

* '''hephaestus''': DrShiny: you turn me on and creep me out at the same time. good job. '''zedd''': hehe '''DrShiny''': MY WORK HERE IS DONE

* '''albillings''': People don't want to be a member of a hackerspace, for the most part, as a grand social experiment. They want to hack. They want to make things. They don't want to have long political meetings to arrive at consensus on a problem only to have people start the whole thing over again.

* '''crayon''': pulled pork > pol pot '''crayon''': you can't make sandwiches out of marxism

* '''quinn''': Apparently, the singularity doesn't pay very well.

* '''DrShiny''': problem with blowjobs is, they're not fungible

* '''Benny''': You can trust me, I'm a German!

* '''Brendan''': oh, man, i bet a noisebridge irc channel is a delight '''Rubin''': Fucking horrible. '''Rubin''': The 4chan of Freenode.

* '''DrShiny''': don't you guys have anything better to think about than some guy on the internet who holds a different opinion

* '''tecra''': when she was with me i pushed her to succeed and excel '''openfly''': shoulda pushed her into the kitchen

* '''dr_jesus''': ERROR: you appear to be trying to solve problems in a complex system on IRC. Please back away from the keyboard and have a sandwich.

* '''KipMacy''': that's why i only use yahoo search, they're too incompetent to aggregate my data and be evil with it

* '''Evil-Bill''': Are you going to knit us a new government?

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm helping him get funding to drive computers to Mexico to get seized, it's an annual Noisebridge tradition. He makes some food, we give him a copy of wikipedia, he goes to a foreign country and it gets seized

* '''avocado''': setient: technically, yes. it's just soap. but it looks like a turd. '''avocado''': i'm going to hide one in my friend's freezer

* '''niggachu''': hmmm today my hipster rag is proclaiming via gay hanky code that I am a "2 handed fister".

* '''znutar''': is it appropriate to tip the TSA guy after he fondles your junk?

* '''openfly''': In a land of doctors, the doctorless is king.

* '''KipMacy''': ive actually been to noisebridge '''KipMacy''': it was a lot less traumatic than i thought it would be

* '''Atala''': or conversely, if you don't want another person, you should get a large dog or something. '''miah''': i dont think im flexible enough for that currently

* '''epsas''': the brain is the largest erogenous zone -- it's a shame what I had to do to get my fist all up in that.

* '''dr_jesus''': It's a robot which makes saws. '''dr_jesus''': You say something like pine, oak, sheetrock, human skulls, and it will output a saw specifically designed to cut through that material. '''TapiocaSunshine''': sounds like they're doing the lord's work over there

* '''sai''': A tiny bead of mercury still calls for full evac and hazardous materials handling. Mercury vapor is serious shit.

* '''phaxx''': I am always amused when I see 'SRS' in cars around the airbag panels. '''phaxx''': "I sure hope so."

* '''daravinne''': there's no i in team but there's three i's in multiple personality disorder

* '''KipMacy''': storing 12 year olds in my backyard in a tent could replace zynga

* '''Jennifer Granick''': Anything fun is more fun with a robot.

* '''hephaestus''': i have no idea what a cakeslut is, but it sounds strangely hot

* '''epsas''': you white nerds listen to too much shoe-gazing folk-rock

* '''setient''': you are a solaris monkey '''rigel''': i'm an ubuntu lemur

* '''Frantisek''': Hopes dies last, so let's not to bury it yet.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I once installed 386BSD 0.1 on that thing, on a 40MB disk drive, with 3MB space to spare, from floppies. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.

* '''quinn-n''': I also have not broken up on the moon.

* '''SuperQ''': noisecloud: launch skynet '''noisecloud''': SuperQ: I don't understand 'launch skynet'. '''SuperQ''': noisecloud-- '''dr_jesus''': There's a bug open for that

* '''hephaestus''': turkshead: how am i not a total dick?

* '''DrShiny''': ban them all, let Asperger sort them out

* '''daravinne''': hephaestus: is this the one where you take off all your clothes and roll in peanut butter and sawdust and run around? 

* '''davr''': good day to you too, sir. enjoy your dongs

* '''rubin110''': Your feed back is important to us, the next available Rubin that gives a fuck will be able to handle your call as soon as possible.

* '''hephaestus''': We don't need an optimist, we need an accountant.

* '''turkshead''': smart people don't point futuristic death rays at their genitals.

* '''noisebot''': aestetix: Reddit: Do you feel less intelligent than you used to be? : AskReddit

* '''vonguard''': i traffic shape with a bucket of paint and a fake cave entrance drawn on a wall

* '''aestetix''': Ok, this is kind of a problem. Is there seriously no drama going on? This is upsetting to me.

* '''aestetix''': Tor is like a woman, many layers of clothes, so many in fact that you never actually get to see her naked, because right as you're about to see it, the packet gets re-encrypted by another node. '''Jeffism''': what about jacobappelbaum '''aestetix''': Right, well the .appelbaum protocol has a backdoor key that disarms the onion and removes all the layers '''aestetix''': And the .appelbaum signature remains on the onion, making it re-accessible at any time, no matter how many new layers are on it

* '''ioerror''': All governments are in a continuum of tyranny

* '''aestetix''': How fucking inconsiderate. I found a cell phone some girl left behind at our place. And there are no naked pictures on it at all.

* '''lemonkey''': nothing like the smell of fresh human feces wafting up into your window from down below to brighten your day '''aestetix''': lemonkey: did you sleep with rubin110 again? '''rubin110''': aestetix: I don't smell fresh.

* '''chelz''': even with electron microscopes operated by TRAINED psychics?

* '''dr_jesus''': anyone who has signed an ISOO form must not query the db and it's a SF312 violation to log the channel

* '''rubin110''': I am booting up a Windows VM in order to schedule a conference room.

* '''dustball''': PS: For all reading this thread, FYI, you now have the Tetris song stuck in your head.

* '''aestetix''': For some reason, being up late in Manhattan has reminded me that I need to get new pants.

* '''qDot_''': Open source zealots are rioting right now. '''qDot_''': And by rioting, I mean writing /very/ angry blog comments. '''qDot_''': Like, you don't even know, man.

* '''chu''': aestetix: Those may be the precise circumstances under which surprise anal sex is called for.

* '''ieatlint''': splitting hairs '''sabrecito''': 2x hairs is better than 1x

* '''hephaestus''': solidsnack: where do i get some roofies? i think it would be fun to pop a couple and get raped

* '''dr_jesus''': apparently we can get mass quantities of government commodity foods if we agree to track inventory and only give it away to people who sign a form saying they're eligible to receive it

* '''qDot''': DrShiny: Come on, everyone knows that any sentence involving "PHP" is instantly sarcastic.

* '''dongsNbongs''': we'll drink to weevs gaping rape hole

* '''solrize''': VonGuard, almost all flashlights have firmware now

* '''dr_jesus''': I know you're trying to be funny, but it helps if you say something that's actually humorous

* '''alienvenom''': i don't think global warming is a hoax per-say, but just fucking wrong

* '''qDot_''': Man, this is why I just stick with the butt plugs. Ya'll too up in the soap opera. I'm just gonna be over here, putting stuff in my butt. '''aestetix''': Speaking of butt plugs, it's lunch time.

* '''quinn''': given the choice between raccoon urine and VAX support, I really don't know which I'd choose.

* '''aestetix''': qDot_: did you see Wired.com today? '''qDot_''': No. I was fapping so hard over the new iphone that I went temporarily blind. I'm currently the emergency room getting my penis fixed after desperately trying to stick it in the headphone jack of my 3gs so I could feel closer to steve. So, URL?

* '''wiretapped''': I republished your photos without attribution because i don't respect copyright

* '''Chris L.''': "[japanese] are vicious, vicious little fuckers"

* '''ceren''': iranian officials are arresting and interrogating people who sign up for a local gay/trans group. the sysadmins for that group aren't as fucking senior as you, and barely managed to get apache running. they confiscate the machines, and because these un-senior sysadmins didn't yet get around to learning and reducing logrotate, everyone who had the courage to even check out the website is now arrested and tortured.

* '''solidsnack''': why don't you just not have those views?

* '''hephaestus''': screw you guys, i'm going to fry's

* '''zedd''': Pft. I'm a member now, there is no should, only bitch and do not.

* '''hephaestus''': seattle always struck me as the place where san franciscans went to become irrelevant '''hephaestus''': it's just as expensive but far more douchey

* '''hephaestus''': Gnewt: well, i just finished a presentation on DIY Dildos. I'm trying to start a church. And I'm trying to get permission to piss off a bunch of juggalos early next month. you?

* '''VonGuard''': i use the salt for luck '''VonGuard''': i have a salt throwing device installed on my shoulder that throws it over my shoulder every 2 seconds

* '''DrShiny''': but the usual random dicks? not porn imho

* '''solidsnack''': I'm a roving bandaid.

* '''jon|atwerk''': VonGuard: that is where you convert morse code into oral and anal, right?

* Overheard: Facebook should have made a board game.

* '''Aya''': If coming to Noisebridge solved my problems and made me famous I wouldn't question it.

* '''Erin''': We're all NB-tards '''Al''': I just registered nbtard.com! '''rachel''': with one hand

* '''himynameisthor''': COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': OMG COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': best idea ever! '''himynameisthor''': sorry, that came out a little creepier than I had intended

* '''aestetix''': Wear four fingerpuppets: a buddhist, an objectivist, a mormon, and a scientologist '''aestetix''': And then masturbate '''aestetix''': Which puppet should get the money shot?

* >> '''dr_jesus''' eyes atala's boobs '''Atala''': mostly i wish i could take them off. the problem with this is that then i'd have to worry about people stealing them.

* '''DrSyzygy''': Muwahahahahahaha! In an unholy union, I now am able to use MPI clusters and SQL servers with Sagemath to compute Gröbner Bases!

* '''Valkyrie''': I don't have a real pc. I've gone totally virtual.

* '''dr_jesus''': On the one hand, I'm happy that people are learning sql '''dr_jesus''': on the other hand, that's an awful lot of dick that I'm colocating in an anonymous secret underground swedish colo

* '''alienvenom''': there's a giant lightning bolt on my widget

* '''DrSyzygy''' takes off his pants so he can write tomorrow's lecture. '''saizai''': .... what's the lecture on exactly? '''qDot_''': That's certainly how I prepare for my lectures. '''qDot_''': But, well, I lecture about butt plugs.

* '''Nils''': if you take the goat to the edge of a cliff, it will push back harder.

* '''lemonkey''': now to spruce up my blog layout

* '''dr_jesus''': you're not supposed to shoot TVs '''dr_jesus''': they have lead and stuff in the glass '''voronika''': you're not supposed to do a lot of fun things

* '''alxndr''': I think I've successfully switched myself from emacs to vim. '''VonGuard''': wow '''VonGuard''': that's like a sex change for nerds

* '''epsas''': Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from irc on a text console.

* '''ieatlint''': i'm just being a bitch and arguing this :P

* '''ieatlint''': nice, the producer for "survivor" is suspected in the murder of his wife '''magpie''': she wasnt murdered '''magpie''': just "voted off the island"

* '''flatline_hb''': The spamtron 9000 is set to "hair-trigger," do not say the same thing thrice on pain of kline '''flatline_hb''': interesting '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice [~flatline_@the.inter.net] has quit [Killed (idoru (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]

* '''phusion''': surprised they could dance wearing that shit. '''miah''': of course they can dance '''miah''': that is battle ready armor, storm troopers need to be able to move if they are going to fight worth a damn

* '''shogun_''': After reading the entire article, I think it's an april fools....they got me

* '''zedd''': Anyone that doesn't love comic sans is a terrorist.

* '''liquidsun|''': I bought a hat so I can be an asshat

* '''ceren''': aempirei: it's been done so hard here that i think we're beating the spot on the ground where the dead horse rotted

* '''lemonkey''': does thermburglar steal heat? '''dr_jesus''': thermburglar does in fact steal heat '''dr_jesus''': and then does covered calls in the btu market with them '''dr_jesus''': and then returns them, sometimes in less than pristine condition

* '''hep''': i never smell ok

* '''DrShiny''': yes, i had too much sports sex and broke my junk

* '''aestetix''': I think a bunch of noisebridgers should go to a strip club with laptops '''dr_jesus''': some friends and I actually tried that once in vegas for defcon '''dr_jesus''': then we tried it back here in the bay area to see if they'd kick us out here too and the answer is yes, immediately

* '''qDot_''': Well, you wallpaper your walls with vag, something's going to get peed on.

* '''Jake''': Enjoy the hell that you've helped to create!

* '''lemonkey''': GOOD MORNING '''jynn-''': WHAT JUST HAPPENED '''jynn-''': OH GOD

*'''aestetix''': dude where's my ops '''aestetix''': give me status or give me death

*'''VonGuard''': As a result, I know exactly who is trolling when.

*'''setient''': i just realized how awesome it is to have your own office '''miah''': put your pants back on

* '''rubin110[https://www.noisebridge.net/index.php?title=Party_Form&oldid=10426 :]''' Please fill out and submit this form to the party comity and directory in order to run your party.

* '''aestetix''': Atala: even better, how about a illustration of Jacque de Molay's execution?

* '''wiretapped''': .sql select count(*) from dongs where url like 'http://cache.boston.com%' '''noisesql''': wiretapped: 0 '''wiretapped''': dr_jesus: see that? I didn't get a () from my delete! '''noisesql''': I '''wiretapped''': o_O '''noisesql''': I hunger for flesh '''wiretapped''': uh oh

* >> '''dr_jesus''' ran a mile once '''dr_jesus''': these days I just build sand castles instead and wait for some tough guy to kick them over, then I chessbox him

* '''miah''': i think im a level 2 emoquiter

* '''alxndr''': damn, I hope I don't bust up giggling next time someone unzips my fly because I'm thinking "HULL BREACH!! MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! AAAOOOOOOGAAH"

* '''aestetix''': I think I now have professional java experience '''aestetix''': and I hate the langugage even more '''vorstyles''': barista? '''Epsas''': single short amaerican plz '''vorstyles''': is that a coffee order, or are you on okcupid?

* '''PuppyCock''': so, how do you dispose of a body? '''vorstyles''': puppycock: i'd suggest dropping the body at noisebridge hq with a tag saying "for parts" '''vorstyles''': it'll get used in various projects

* ''' aestetix''': I just finished jerking off to the last page of anne frank's diary

* '''Destri''': there is sometimes a fine line between "protesting" and "terrorist action" '''ani-''': there's sometimes a fine line between your mom and terrorist action

* '''vorstyles''': i hate this economy '''vorstyles''': gives people too much freetime for protests

* '''PuppyCock''': Maddox was right

* '''alienvenom''': what are you interested in? bestiality, s&m? '''lemonkey''': maybe '''alienvenom''': daipers? '''alienvenom''': you an ABDL? '''lemonkey''': sploshing '''alienvenom''': watersports? '''alienvenom''': fisting? '''lemonkey''': i enjoy feeling creamed corn between my buttcheeks '''alienvenom''': O_o '''lemonkey''': as if i shat myself
* '''thermburglar''': i have a math penis, does that count '''thermburglar''': its uncut, so as to function as a slide rule as well

* '''miah''': or maybe i'm misisng the humor again '''miah''': maybe we should implement a humor tag into irc '''miah''': or write a bot that detects humor to alert us

* '''ani''': i totally want some httpspanties '''vorstyles''': panties with a .htaccess '''lemonkey''': you know it's only a matter of time before our underware starts tweeting

* '''Kelly''': I'm trying to make a point of relating to non-geeks as if they too were human.

* '''Jim''': I like being senile, it's like being drunk without the hangover.

* '''lemonkey''': http://twitpic.com/153mju '''lemonkey''': final shuttle pin '''JSharp''': nearly 30 years is a very long time for a program like that :) '''JSharp''': not a bad design '''JSharp''': heh, the pin I mean

* '''turkshead''': Dr. J has offered to quantify my gizmo with his phone.

* '''alienvenom''': i suspect that the people who work at muni do not, in fact, have a brain. '''solidsnack''': alienvenom: But do they have a heart? '''solidsnack''': I think I'm most like the cowardly lion.

* '''miah''': vagina dentata should be standard equipment for female soldiers

* '''aestetix''': I seriously think phone booths need to start popping up all over america

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm just happy that I wrote a robot squad that helps teach people programming languages, the details are kind of a minor point for me '''DrShiny''': dr_jesus: that's so... so... SELFLESS of you '''DrShiny''': "I'm just glad to do my bit to make the world a better place" '''dr_jesus''': awesome buy me a hookers and blow '''DrShiny''': "<self-deprecating moue>" '''dr_jesus''': sandwich

* '''aestetix''': FUCK '''aestetix''': MUST FEED CHOCOLATE ADDICTION '''aestetix''': BRB PEANUT BUTTER TWIX OR BUST

* '''Destri''': new levels of bachelor-hood. Left coat in car, coat has my my titanium spork, need spork to stir my instant coffee

* '''zedd''': Come on, Zedd for ED, he gets things up '''ani''': ani for ed, she puts things down

* '''wiretapped''': aestetix: it turns out that for most intents and purposes, the internet *is* a big truck

* '''DrShiny''': wait, say all that again, i spilled soup on my keyboard so i couldn't hear you

* '''dr_jesus''': when a child dies and has NOT been daemonized (into a completely new process group), the child zombifies because the kernel needs to keep the child data structures around in case the parent wants to look at them to figure out why the child died '''dr_jesus''': ONLY WHEN the parent process calls wait() or a similar routine to extract that information does the kernel clean up the child data structures, since now the parent has them and can start poring over them to figure out what happened and what to do about it ''' dr_jesus''': now the parent might not want to sit around all day waiting for its kids to die, so the kernel sends SIGCHLD to the parent so whatever the parent is doing can be interrupted and it can call wait() at that point to figure out 1) who died, and 2) what caused it '''dr_jesus''': so basically SIGCHLD is child protection services and the kids are suicidal '''dr_jesus''': and a zombie process is a foster kid with a big tattoo on its forehead saying EXIT CODE = 0xwhatever and cps keeps it around waiting for the deadbeat parent to show up and get the exit code

* '''alienvenom''': yes, they would in theory be able to measure the capacitance of a penis

* '''rachel-''': no, when i'm 91, i'm gonna stick wine bottles up my ass

* '''TheScott''': we are having a wi party at VonGuards house because his wife went to Disney land '''TheScott''': apparently he can't fulfill her fantasy life or requirements

* '''ryan-c''': oh, hey. I've been looking for that penis bouquet pic for a while

* '''Valkyrie''': I did some work in saltmines in Utah. They were rather unpleasant, but not horrible.

* '''epsas''': i miss shitting in the woods '''epsas''': in my bear costume

* '''dr_jesus''': bwahhaha '''dr_jesus''': oracle backwards is el caro '''dr_jesus''': [http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A] '''epsas''': does that mean something? '''epsas''': ahh - hehe '''dr_jesus''': "the expensive"

* '''epsas''': you have to fellate the chicken

* '''epsas''': we need a fighterjetbot '''epsas''': i like looking at fighter jets '''epsas''': they are, like, flying dongs with guns
* '''Evil-Bill''': noisecloud: find Sarah Connor '''noisecloud''': Evil-Bill: I don't understand 'find Sarah Connor'. '''Evil-Bill''': Well that's a relief.

* '''miah''': how many blocks could a noisebridge member block if a noisebridge member could block blocks

* '''dr_jesus''': shut up for a second, I'm committing a sin against mankind
* '''rachel-''': it's a hard time to be a terrorist
* '''DrSyzygy''':: "While the joint work to immanetize the eschaton was certainly eye-opening and pleasant, I really would have liked more of the material on acausal influencing, and at least some differential algebraic topology. '''magpie-''': i have a 3.8 GPA. what?

* '''Evil_Bill''': C has no objects (only zuul).

* '''ani''': you do realise the wheels made it rollable right?

* '''dr_jesus''': noiseelisp: eval (message user-login-name) '''noiseelisp''': dr_jesus: root '''dr_jesus''': god fucking dammit not again

* '''dr_jesus''': I also heard that the sewer system is based on alien wormhole technology and the poop timing has to be coordinated to avoid causing a grandfeces paradox '''grelli''': you... you're not supposed to know about that '''grelli''': are you after our beaver technology??

*'''radii''': I'm stuck with keeping ani and turkshead from turning the whole thing into a kumbayah steampunk vibrator singalong.

* '''Martyn''': Where did this whole dong meme come from, anyway?

* '''rachel-''': oh man I want multiple inheritance SO MUCH '''aestetix''': rachel-: are you poly? cause that could happen '''aestetix''': Find a bunch of old dirty guys and marry them

*'''incekt''': all i know is it's 40 ms away '''incekt''': as the crow flies

*'''dr_jesus''': noisec: eval printf("%i", getuid()); '''noisec''': dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''': fuck

* '''rachel''': the dong link list is not very long as yet

* '''epsas''': IF YOU MISSED THE PUNCHLINE, WILLIE NELSON WAS GIVING DOLLY PARTON ORAL PLEASURE

* '''dr_jesus_''': rm has [http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/coreutils.git/tree/src/remove.c?id=v8.1#n504 a hardcoded check] to prevent removing / '''alienvenom''': no it doesn't '''dr_jesus_''': sure it does, try it '''alienvenom''': the -rf overrides it '''alienvenom''': i've done it before

* '''Sargun''': I wonder if you could make a strap on for people who already have dongs

* '''aestetix''': maybe a goatee sniffing context too?

* '''ani-''': rachel-: like all campaign promises, i can almost guarantee that it will never actually happen

* '''voronika''': at that point, you've missed the bitching bus

* '''alienvenom''': man i wish i was uncut. '''alienvenom''': just saying :-P '''alienvenom''': sorry '''alienvenom''': lol '''ieatlint''': we were just having a moment of silence for your foreskin

* '''rachel''': eljepe: i see your point and raise you SHUT UP

* '''aestetix''': Can someone explain to me in one sentence what "agile programming" is? '''oao''': it's like knowing you have to drive to some city on the east coast and setting out without a map but with a phone that you can use to ask people questions along the way.

* '''zedd''': can't breathe lulzing too hard

* '''Valkyrie''': Atala: how big is your vagina?

* '''aestetix''': So, somewhere near the top of the list of people "You don't want to piss off (™)" '''aestetix''': Up there with Hitler's ghost and Your mom '''aestetix''': I think would include the people who did the construction work at Noisebridge '''aestetix''': They're pretty badass

* '''dr_jesus''': btw I'm still planning on putting current meters on, as soon as I can convince someone not to rip them out because you can't read keystrokes off a battery powered laptop at the space using a 1Hz sample rate on a 10 bit ADC hooked up to the mains current sensor

* '''Crutcher''': Then they came for the Assholes - and there was no one left to speak for me.

* >> '''Valkyrie`''' points out that bongs and other devices can be used to smoke a variety of plant matter, from tobacco to sage. '''VonGuard''': so what the hell coudl you even use em for? '''wiretapped''': we're using them on an append-only MyISAM db right now

* '''Anonymous''': I wish that rubin would just leave his natural regional endowments alone, I think that he would just be beautiful with long natural regional endowments. I have always had a great respect for nature.

* '''Martyn''': water for -northern- california comes in large part from Hetch Hetchi, which used to be a valley as large and as beautiful as Yosemite '''ieatlint''': not as beautiful '''Martyn''': it was equally as beautiful '''ieatlint''': don't let the environmentalists fool you

* '''rigel''': so every time i import MySQLdb it says its deprecated '''rigel''': what should i be using instead? '''miah''': postgresql

* '''Valkyrie''': Well, dongs are a dime a dozen. '''Valkyrie''': Space is rare.

* '''VonGuard''': scott will never finish the bathroom. you idiots made him a member. if he ever is in danger of getting fired for not finishing the bathroom, he will block

* '''JSharp''': all your anomalies are belong to deviation. you are on your way to normalization, make your sigma.

* '''Rubin''': OK, I can't tell which one is rum, I'm done for the night.

*'''turkshead''': guys, i went ahead and painted the consensus process green. '''turkshead''': everybody likes green, right? '''shkoo''': the consensus process must be blue.

* '''Kripto''': I avoid Folsom St Fair.. its my b-day weekend and the last thing I need is 50000 people all wanting to give me b-day spankings.

* '''Martyn''': Atala : Mental image -- Alienvenom, ieatlint, Jason, and Mike K all masturbating in wooden chairs. (revenge!) '''ieatlint''': Martyn, ouch... i'm going to take that personally '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Dude, I love you, but I never ever want to see you play the skinflute. '''ieatlint''': fine fine '''Martyn''': ieatlint : I'm sure the sentiment is returned :) '''ieatlint''': but you don't need to make the same decision for the rest of noisebridge '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Okay, okay .. fair enough. If you -really- want to, you can hypothetically masturbate for the non-extant construction crew :)

* '''aestetix''': fuck I started reading about the cat and totally forgot what I was gonna do but the kitty is so nice and cuddly awww

* '''froggytoad''': so... thing is, he has a thing for bears... '''Atala''': i have a gorilla suit you could borrow. not sure that would work, but maybe worth a try? please clean it after though.

* '''JSharp''': Clippy: "I see you're trying to start an edit war. Would you like me to load a godwin macro?"

* '''dr_jesus''': at the moment he's so far out of compliance that the city is going to get a new TV's worth of fines out of his ass for being so shady

*'''Zedd''': Jeffery, why are you wearing fibreglass as a fashion accessory?

* '''ioerror''': 99% of the police make the rest look bad

* '''eljepe''': ie your pipes are full of rats '''eljepe''': your walls are full of cats '''eljepe''': and there is a homeless man living in your elevator '''chu''': If he's living in the elevator is he really homeless?

* '''ani-''': hm, looks like no one has any records of a tesla turbine in the guinness book of world records > '''ani-''' submits > '''Evil-Bill''' dominates

* '''noisercode''': ani- beats dusek with a government entitlement and some nuts and bolts to hold my OTO meetings in 2169 for breakfast at-this-moment

* '''dr_jesus''': ow '''dr_jesus''': some blind dude rocking out on his headphones just beaned me with his cane

* '''ieatlint''': unconfirmed report says a pipe bomb has gone off inside without injuries '''MrDomino''': yeah, sounds like... *tic*... the semester's off to a bang... > '''ani-''' slaps MrDomino with a humungous trout > '''MrDomino''' masturbates furiously to his pun

* '''Emflamed''': guys.......i know wat sex is.........i dont like listening about it .... or talking bout it...... or watching it (never have) , so please stop, and i dont need a seed wife just for sex!, cuz i dont want sex!

* '''[[User:rachel|rachel-]]''': and now i have fresher breath, i sleep better, and my penis is much longer

* '''teratoma''': perhaps noisebridge can hack BART to run without employees

* '''dr_jesus''': noisecode: eval os.geteuid() '''noisecode''' dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''' fuck

* >> '''SanMehat''' blew a transformer '''iz''': did he at least buy you dinner first?

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, i somehow doubt i could ever bring myself to have that kind of thing (penis piercing) done... '''Atala''': ieatlint: you're single right now, yes? '''ieatlint''': Atala, yes. '''Atala''': ieatlint: now's the time! if that thing isn't going to get some use, might as well bling it out.

* '''ceren''': ps: do not feed your pierced penis to a baby.

* >> '''ani-''' puts on pants '''rachel-''': ani-: nooooooooooooo

* '''Atala''': yeah, what's been up with the pacific northwest hitting bbq temperatures? '''lemonkey''': god's wrath for Microsoft bing

* '''rubin110''': So Andy was wearing the tightest pants earlier today at the wedding. '''rubin110''': His ass looked sooo good. '''rubin110''': You didn't hear this from me.

* '''rubin110''': IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE ALL OVER 83C THERE ON MY BACK. '''rubin110''': ER ALL OF '''VonGuard''': [21:18] <rubin110> IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE MY BOWELS ALL OVER 83C THERE AND ON MY OWN BACK.

* '''rubin110''': Wait. '''rubin110''': Why don't we have the makerbot just print us a new space?

* '''ani'''-: [http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com/ http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com] '''zaius''': hot! i'd wear that '''zaius''': ... if i was a girl, i mean

* There was a [[David Fine]] bonanza - which got its own page.

* '''froggytoad''': apparantly the dust turns to acid, when you add water. I haven't tried it yet.

*'''dr_jesus''': clearly you have not witnessed the full power of this fully armed and operational asian counterfeiting operation

* '''VonGuard''': oh, hey, tell miloh we figured out how to sex his lizard

*'''Atala''': were they asking you to get fucked in the ass by a machine for money?

*'''lemonkey''': mm jerk chicken quesadillas '''iz''': they are extra delicious because you know the chicken was a real asshole when alive

* '''froggytoad''': fish guts have this excellent quality of bringing solids out of solutions

* -- Let it hereby also be noted that PNAC stands for Pvck's Neutron Absorbent Cock.

* '''Nana''': Rat poison is never the solution.

* '''lemonkey''': stop, drop, and rofl

* '''dr_jesus''': If you get me that board, I will develop quad core pants.

* '''VonGuard''': "welcome to apple, here's your new liver, an ipod, and an ounce of heroin"

* '''Atala''': ieatlint: sucking cock for crack doesn't count ;P '''ieatlint''': Atala, it wasn't for crack

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, we need a pigeon hacking class at noisebridge

* '''vniow-rachel-''': i am an unholy breed of hot lesbian and craftiness!

* '''Atala''': i wish i could eat in the same way i masturbate - whenever the hell i feel like it, going for as long between as i feel like. though it would be sad if i couldn't eat in public, that would be annoying.

* '''Valkyrie''': I remember a job interview I went on where they had decided that this "IP" business was not the way to go so they were ripping out all their ethernet and replacing it with RS232 and x.25.

* '''San''': "I still fucking hate Keanu Reeves"

* '''ryanc-''': i need more sex toys '''vniow''': me too

* '''aestetix''': vniow: do you want me to bring the rape game by Noisebridge tonight?

* '''alienvenom''': '/win goto #gaysf '''alienvenom''': err '''alienvenom''': wow '''alienvenom''': uh '''alienvenom''': everyone type /clear now please :) '''alienvenom''': :-\

* '''vniow''': god, i sound like a noisebridge slut [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: vniow: I don't think you're a slut '''vniow''': i've slept with ceren too, as of last night [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: ok, now I do

* '''leif''': It's not as wiki as it could be.

* '''Martyn''': That dildo is going to see more action that a pornstar at Kink.com '''Martyn''': You're going to have to start laser-etching the names of people who have used it on it '''Atala''': there is definitely an appeal to being able to say "yeah, that steampunk vibrator you saw on boing boing? i fucked that."

* '''Valkyrie`''': So I'm thinking about going to this gothic rocket thing tonight.

* '''Valkyrie`''': eh. We already got a "go kill yourself" post... over EMAIL ETIQUETTE! '''Valkyrie`''': It's a little surreal.

* [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: Ok, the federal government is IMing me now.

* '''anonymous''': Being in noisebridge feels like being surrounded by gnomes and unicorns.

* '''Jake''': Dr. Jesus, I have no epenis.

* '''aestetix''' : Nine minutes left. That's enough time to do some coke.

* '''Jake''': Police are like vampires, you never invite them into your home.

* '''Skye''': I'm like Pavlov for slovenliness.

* '''Steen''': If you keep taking those you're going to train me to just leave them there.

Confessions Clarisse

2012-06-26T06:59:10Z

98.234.232.4: /* Confessions Of A Pickup Artist Chaser */

==Confessions Of A Pickup Artist Chaser==

'''N.B. CANCELED: Too much confusion! Clarisse is doing a reading at Good Vibrations on the 5th though, at 1620 Polk St. http://www.goodvibes.com/content.jhtml?id=New-Polk-Good-Vibes-Events'''

Presentation and discussion about pickup artists from the feminist S&M writer Clarisse Thorn. She recently released a book that may be ridiculous, brilliant, or both; it's called ''Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser: Long Inteviews With Hideous Men.''

More on the book:
[http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Pickup-Artist-Chaser-ebook/dp/B007I5HRQU Amazon page] (you can also find it [https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/144451 at Smashwords])

Longer description:

''There's an enormous subculture of men who trade tips, tricks, and tactics for seducing women. Within the last half-decade or so, these underground "pickup artists" have burst into the popular consciousness, aided by Neil Strauss’s bestselling book "The Game" and VH1’s hit reality show "The Pick-Up Artist." Some men in the seduction community are sleazy misogynists who want nothing more than power and control. Some are shy wallflowers who don't know how to say hi to a girl. The one thing they all have in common is a driving need to attract women. Clarisse Thorn, a feminist S&M writer and activist, spent years researching these guys. She observed their discussions, watched them in action, and learned their strategies. By the end of it all, she'd given a lecture at a seduction convention and decided against becoming the next great dating coach.''

'''Time''': canceled

'''Location''': Noisebridge, open conference area or wherever the PowerPoint can be set up

'''Event Organizer''': Clarisse Thorn

'''Contact''': clarisse dot thorn at gmail

[[Category:Events]]

Noisebridge

2012-06-21T19:24:55Z

98.234.232.4: Put cancelled 5mof on

__NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__

{| width="800px" cellpadding="0" style="color:#000000;border:solid 1px #990000;background-color:#f1f1f1;padding:6px 6px 0px 6px; margin:6px auto 6px auto"
|-valign="top"
|width="100%"|<big>We are Noisebridge</big>''Noisebridge is an infrastructure provider for technical-creative projects, collaboratively run by its members. We are [[Incorporation|incorporated]] as a non-profit educational corporation for public benefit. We operate primarily in a 5,600 square-foot space located in the heart of San Francisco. We teach, we learn, we share.'' [[Noisebridge_Vision|Read more about Noisebridge]] or [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wamwklXWK4M watch a short video]...
|}


{| width="800px" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin:6px auto 6px auto;padding:0px;font-size:100%;background-color:#f1f1f1;"
|style="border-left:1px solid #990000;border-top:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|[[File:Wikibanner-goto-2169.png|link=Getting_Here]]||width="16px" style="background:#ffffff;"| ||style="border-left:1px solid #990000;border-top:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|[[File:Wikibanner-get-involved.png|link=:Category:Events]]||width="16px" style="background:#ffffff;"| ||style="border-left:1px solid #990000;border-top:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|[[File:Wikibanner-help-out.png|link=Donate_or_Pay_Dues]]
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|style="padding:0px 6px 3px 6px;border-left:1px solid #990000;border-bottom:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|We're located at: <center>'''[[Getting Here|2169 Mission St]], San Francisco''' [http://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=37.762352&mlon=-122.419372&zoom=16 OpenStreetMap] - [http://maps.google.com/?q=2169+Mission+Street,+94110 Google Maps] 2 blocks South of [[Getting_Here#Getting_Here_by_BART | 16th & Mission BART]]</center><ul><li>[[Getting_In | How to get into the space]]</li><li>[[Visitor advice]]</li></ul>||width="16px" style="background:#ffffff;"| ||style="padding:0px 6px 3px 6px;border-left:1px solid #990000;border-bottom:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|<ul><li>[[Resources|What we offer]]</li><li>[[:Category:Events|Events and classes]]</li><li>[[Hosting an Event|Host an event]]</li><li>[[Noisebridge Vision | Learn about our vision]]</li><li>[[Mailinglist|Join one of our mailing lists]]</li><li>[[#Get_in_Touch|Contact us]]</li></ul>||width="16px" style="background:#ffffff;"| ||style="padding:0px 6px 3px 6px;border-left:1px solid #990000;border-bottom:1px solid #990000;border-right:1px solid #990000;"|<ul><li>[[Noisebridge Membership|Become a member]]! [[Membership/FAQ|FAQ]]! Pay monthly sub: [https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Dues%20%28Starving%20Hacker%29&cy_code=USD&a3=40&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $40/mo] [https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Dues%20%28Standard%29&cy_code=USD&a3=80&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $80/mo] [https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Dues%20%28Doing%20well%29&cy_code=USD&a3=160&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $160/mo]</li><li>[[Donate or Pay Dues|Make a monthly donation]]! [https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Donation%20%28Affiliate%20Member%29&cy_code=USD&a3=10&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $10/mo] [https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Donation%20%28Affiliate%20Member%29&cy_code=USD&a3=20&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $20/mo][https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Donation%20%28Affiliate%20Hacker%29&cy_code=USD&a3=40&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $40/mo][https://www.paypal.com/subscriptions/business=treasurer@noisebridge.net&item_name=Noisebridge%20Monthly%20Donation%20%28Affiliate%29&cy_code=USD&a3=80&p3=1&t3=M&src=1 $80/mo]</li><li>[[Donate or Pay Dues|'''Other ways to donate!''']]</li></ul>
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{| width="800px" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin:6px auto 6px auto;padding:0px;font-size:100%;background-color:#f1f1f1;"
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|style="padding:6px;border-left:1px solid #990000;border:1px solid #990000;width:390px;"|<big><center>[[File:Hackupy300.png|center|link=http://hackupy.org]]</center></big>Proudly providing [[Hackupy|hack nights]] for the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupy_movement Occupy Movement] in [http://occupysf.com/ SF], [http://www.occupyoakland.org/ OAK] & [http://occupyberkeley.org/ CAL]. Find [http://hackupy.org other hackerspaces helping].||width="16px" style="background:#ffffff;"| ||style="padding:6px;border:1px solid #990000;width:390px;"|<big><center>[[Five Minutes of Fame]]</center></big>5MoF is our monthly variety talks night. Ten 5 minute talks within an hour. Talks can be shorter, but not longer, than five minutes. Subjects are anything and everything, if you get bored of one, it's ok, it'll be over in less than 5 minutes. Come and join us. <strike>Thursday, June 21th, 8pm!</strike> CANCELLED [http://5mof.net/signup Sign up]!.
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|width="100%"|<big>Create With Us!</big>Our [[2169_Mission|5,200 square-foot space (483m2)]] contains an [[Electronics_Lab|electronics lab]], [[Shop|machine shop]], [[Sewing|sewing/crafting supplies]], [[Classrooms|two classrooms]], [[Conference_Area|conference area]], [[library|library]], [[Darkroom|darkroom]], and [[Kitchen|kitchen]]. [[Diversity|Everyone]] is welcome to use [[Resources|our many resources]]. Find others to create with. Find help with your projects. Help others with their projects. Learn, teach, share. Come to Noisebridge and create! Noisebridge's [[Hours|hours]] are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. New visitors are welcome any time (all ages, all skill levels), but it's best to visit in the evenings or during an event to make sure we have a volunteer to show you around and make introductions.
|}


[[Image:2169mission.jpg|thumb|right|Front door to our space at 2169 Mission]]
[[Image:Arduinos For Total Newbies workshop.jpg|thumb|right|Arduino for Total Newbies Workshop at Noisebridge]]
[[Image:Noisebridge tools.jpg|thumb|right|A space to learn and create neat things]]
[[Image:Noisebridge_Soldering_Workshop.jpg|thumb|right|[[Circuit_Hacking_Mondays|Soldering Workshop]] at Noisebridge]]
[[Image:Noisebridge air.jpg|thumb|right|Members at Noisebridge]]
[[Image:Skittlevodka.jpg|thumb|right|Hacking, it's more than just electronics]]
[[Image:Starfive - q's noisebridge project.jpg|thumb|right|Craft hacking]]
[[Image:ZiP03_fc.jpg|thumb|right|Cover of ZiP03, "The Inward Spiral" (July-Sept. 2012)]]

== Events and Classes ==
'''[[:Category:Events|Full Event Listing]]''' | '''[http://www.google.com/calendar/embed?src=vo3i3c0qtjnkjr2ojasd0ftt8s%40group.calendar.google.com&ctz=America/Los_Angeles Unofficial Google Calendar]'''

''You'' '''don't''' ''need to be a member to take or give a class or workshop at Noisebridge. '''All are welcome!''''' Please see our [[Hosting an Event|events hosting page]] for more details.
{{:Category:Events}}
''You'' '''don't''' ''need to be a member to take or give a
class or workshop at Noisebridge. '''All are welcome!'''''

'''Want to host your event at Noisebridge?''' We like seeing classes and talks on interesting things pertaining to various subjects of hacking. Most of all, we like seeing familiar faces. Please participate in the space and our [[Meetings|weekly Tuesday meetings]] to see if we're the right audience for what you want to share before announcing a new event. Additionally, here are some [[Hosting an Event]] tips.

== Info ==

[[Intro Poster]]: How we explain ourselves to new visitors.

[[Resources]]: Stuff in the space -- computer network & servers, project areas, tools, bulk orders from Digikey/McMaster/Mouser.

[[Safety|Safety in the Space]]: What to do in case of an emergency.

[[Press Coverage]]: mentions of Noisebridge in the media (both blog and dead tree).

[[Identity]]: A collection of resources revolving around our identity and logo.

[[Hackerspace Infos]]: Howtos, Background, and friendly Hackerspaces elsewhere.

== Get in Touch ==
* '''Press: Please see our [[Press Kit]] - Includes press contacts, pictures, background info, etc.'''
* [[Contacts]] - General contact details for the space
* [[Mailinglist]] - Best way to keep informed of upcoming events
* [[People]]
* [[Twitter]]
* [[Zine]] - ''ZiP: Zine in Progress,'' a quarterly publication inspired by Noisebridge, NEW as of January, 2012. Subscribe to the ZiP/zine mailing list and discussion group [https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/zine here]
* [[IRC|IRC channel]] - irc://chat.freenode.net/#noisebridge
* [[Payphone|Call the red payphone]] - This option is temporarily unavailable
* [[MemoryHole|Legal Requests (information removal, etc)]]
* Here is our '''mailing address''' (different from our physical address): 
          '''Noisebridge''' 
          '''2261 Market Street #235-A''' 
          '''San Francisco, CA 94114'''

[[Image:Passport-badge2.png‎|right|link=Passport|Hackerspace Passports accepted here]]
* Or just [[Getting Here|drop by the space]]. We're open almost all the time (24/7), and everyone is welcome -- ''all ages, all skill levels'': 
          [[Getting Here|'''2169 Mission St, 3rd floor''']] 
          '''San Francisco, CA 94103'''
*Here is a '''[[Map|digital blueprint]]''' of the Noisebridge space as of the end of December, 2011.

== Status ==
'''Noisebridge is up!''' We began building Noisebridge in February 2007. Since December 2007 we've had regular Tuesday meetings, and rented our first physical space as of October 1st 2008. We quickly outgrew our first space and have been at our much larger 5,200 square-foot second location since October 1st 2009. We are a [[Incorporation|tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization]] as of July 2009, retroactive to October 2008.

Meeting Notes 2012 06 05

2012-06-01T16:38:07Z

98.234.232.4: Adding the ban Rob 2.0 consensus item to meeting minutes.

= Instructions =
* '''Delete these instructions section before posting completed minutes.'''
* Pick a moderator and a note-taker.
* Optionally: pick a membership-binder-wrangler; otherwise the moderator can take care of it.

== Note-taker ==
* Open a text editor to take notes on the major points of the meeting, using this page at the template.
* Project the draft meeting notes and agenda in real time throughout the meeting.
* Edit the [[Current_Consensus_Items|Current Consensus Items]] if anything is proposed for consensus next week.
* Edit the [[Consensus_Items_History|Consensus Items History]] if anything was reached consensus or failed to reach consensus this week.
* Post the meeting notes to this page, and email out a summary with a link.
* Tell treasurer@noisebridge.net and secretary@noisebridge.net if there are new members.

== Moderator==
* Understand the structure of Noisebridge [[consensus|decision-making]]
* Make sure everyone gets a chance to speak.
* Speak only minimally yourself.
* Keep the meeting moving, and avoid getting bogged down.
* Identify discussion items, arrange times limits for talking about each item.
* Identify and summarize consensus, suggest things that need to be done.
* '''Get the [[membership binder]] and ensure that it is returned safely.'''

== Participants ==
* Say your name before you talk.
* Remain on-topic, and speak as concisely as possible.
* Assist the note-taker with any links or corrections that are needed.
* Remain respectful of other participants, their time, and the consensus and moderation process.

= Agenda =

[https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Category:Meeting_Notes The 219th Meeting of Noisebridge]

Note-taker: FIXME YOUR NAME HERE

Moderator: FIXME THEIR NAME HERE

== Introduction and Names ==

* '''Invite a knowledgeable volunteer to explain''' [[Noisebridge_Vision|what Noisebridge is about]]:
<blockquote>Noisebridge is a 501c3 nonprofit that provides a space for creation, collaboration, and learning about technology and creative projects. Noisebridge provides space, power tools, and infrastructure to help the public learn new skills and create cool things. Noisebridge continues to exist through and depends entirely on membership fees and donations. Our code of conduct is 'Be excellent to each other'."</blockquote>
* '''Invite a knowledgeable volunteer to give '''[[Consensus Process|a brief primer on consensus process]]: We agree and so should you! Only paid-up members can block consensus.
* Introduce any new or unusual moderation techniques that you may be using during the meeting like: direct responses, limited speaking time, orderless stack, &c.
* Round of introductions (remember, announcements come later):
** What's your name,
** are you a member,
** what do you do, and
** if you are new: how did you hear about Noisebridge?

== Short Announcements ==
* Cool new projects? Something you'd like people to know? Say now, but keep it short!
* Any happenings at the space of which members should be made aware.

== New or Stale Events ==
* Is there anything new happening at the space?
* Is there anything that has stopped happening at the space?
* If this is the first meeting of the month, review all the [[Category:Events | events at the space]] and try to weed out stale events.

== [[Membership Binder]] ==
* '''Invite a knowledgeable volunteer to describe''' [[membership]], and the application process.
<blockquote>Being a member of Noisebridge is not like being a member of a gym or your local chess club. Anyone can come to Noisebridge to hack and learn: you don't need to be a member for that. At Noisebridge, membership is something different: it means taking responsibility and committing to help to maintain, improve, and govern Noisebridge. As a member of Noisebridge, you don't just come here to hack and learn, you actively work to improve what you see around you, help to deal with problems, and make this community better than it is today.</blockquote>
* Read off any names from the binder for the past month. Write a check on every open application.
* Anyone eligible to join this week should
** introduce themselves,
** answer any questions members may have for them, then
** leave the area in search of gifts (traditionally beer and a lime, or cookies) for the rest of the group.
* The rest of the meeting should reach consensus on whether they may join.
* Remember to applaud new members when they return.

== Financial Report ==
* Funds in bank:
* Noisetor (See the bulletpoints at the bottom of http://noisetor.net/finances/#summary):

== Consensus items ==
You may wish to '''invite a knowledgeable volunteer to repeat '''[[Consensus Process|a brief primer on the consensus process]].

=== Proposals from last week ===

''(Add any items which pass or are blocked to the [[Consensus Items History]] page.)''

* Ban Rob 2.0

=== Proposals for next week ===

''(Add any new items for consensus to the [[Current Consensus Items]] page.)''

== Discussion Items ==

If an item of discussion drags on too long, further discussion may be postponed until after the meeting ends.

During discussion, it is not necessary to write down exact what each person says. Record the topics of discussion, and any items of consensus or controversy here. Detailed descriptions of the conversation should go on the discuss page for this meeting.

== End of Meeting ==
* [[PGP|PGP Key Signing]] could happen now, check the [[PGP|list]] to see who wants in on the action.
* Return the [[membership binder]] to it's rightful location.
* Clean and tidy the meeting notes, then save them to the wiki.
* Send a summary of the meeting notes to the discussion list.
* Enjoy the company of your fellow hacker or robot.
* Discuss any items for which there was not time during the meeting.

[[Category:Meeting Notes]]

User:AlSweigart

2012-05-03T08:39:42Z

98.234.232.4: Undo revision 19734 by 85.17.97.19 (Talk)

I enjoy programming, computer security, Python, writing useful software, making web applications, bicycles, vlogging, and helping others learn programming. I'm from Houston and went to school in Austin before moving to San Francisco at the beginning of 2007.

My personal site is http://coffeeghost.net

I wrote a book to teach kids Python game programming by examples. The book is complete and available under a Creative Commons license at http://inventwithpython.com

Current projects include:
* A 3D laser scanner system that can be made from free software and off-the-shelf parts.
* Revisions to the Python book.
* A Craigslist notification website.
* Virtual museum software project.
* Virtual tour author software to let people make their own Google Street-view style website.

[[image: Al_Sweigart.jpg]]

adduser --gecos 'Al Sweigart' asweigart

ssh-dss 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 asweigart@asweigart

Front-end Web Development

2012-04-05T18:07:01Z

98.234.232.4: /* Previous classes */

=== Lecture ===
Weekly talk on HTML/CSS/JS aimed at beginners, currently taught by [[User:JeffreyATW|JeffreyATW]]. Meets every '''Monday''' at '''8pm''', with a recap at '''7:30'''.

<div style="background:#eeeeff;padding-bottom:.5em">
==== Class for 2012-04-09 ====
'''THIS is the class to attend if you are a complete beginner!''' We are starting the curriculum of this class from square one. We'll cover the (very) basics:
* Explaining "frontend" vs. "backend"
* Discussing tools of the trade
* Explaining the separation between structure, presentation, and behavior
* Writing a basic HTML page
* Styling the page with basic CSS

No recap for this class. Please show up '''promptly''' at or before 8pm, as physical space is limited.</div>

==== Previous classes ====
We discuss a different topic in-depth every week. Some topics include:
* CSS positioning [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2011-11-22|(topic for 2011-11-22)]]
* Turning a mockup into HTML and CSS [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2011-12-05|(topic for 2011-12-05)]]
* File transfer [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2011-12-12|(topic for 2011-12-12)]]
* JavaScript [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2011-12-19|(topic for 2012-01-02)]]
* jQuery [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-01-16|(topic for 2012-01-09, 2012-01-16)]]
* AJAX [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-01-23|(topic for 2012-01-23)]]
* Turning a professional mockup into HTML and CSS [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-01-30|(topic for 2012-01-30)]]
* Menus and modals [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-02-06|(topic for 2012-02-06)]]
* Sign up forms [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-02-13|(topic for 2012-02-13)]]
* HTML5 elements [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-02-20|(topic for 2012-02-20)]]
* Mobile websites [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-02-27|(topic for 2012-02-27)]]
* CSS3 properties [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-03-05|(topic for 2012-03-05)]]
* Progressive enhancement: cross-browser compatibility and accessibility [[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes#Class_for_2012-03-12|(topic for 2012-03-12)]]
* Web frameworks and other "backend" web development topics (topic for 2012-03-19)
* Hardening Web Applications (http://webapp-hardening.heroku.com/)

==== Future class ideas ====
* CSS grids
* Precompiled code (Less, Sass, Compass, CoffeScript, HAML)

=== Lab ===
We also meet for a weekly lab/workshop where we work on an assignment that covers the material learned in the lecture earlier in the week. Those working on their own personal projects are also more than welcome to come and solicit help. Every Thursday at 8:00pm.

=== Where ===
Noisebridge, 2169 Mission St., San Francisco, 94114 (at 18th St., near 16th St. BART station). [[Getting_Here|Map]]

The lecture is currently held in the [[Classrooms#Church|Church classroom]], which is in the back of the space.

The lab is currently held in the [[Classrooms#Turing|Turing classroom]], the room past the wood shop.

Read up on [[Getting_In|getting in]] to the space. TL;DR: ring the bell!

=== Who ===
'''Everyone'''! '''Complete beginners''' and more experienced developers are welcome (and you could probably teach me a thing or two). If you're new to the class, please consider coming to the lecture at 7:30 for a recap.

The space and the class are entirely free to attend. You do not have to be a Noisebridge member (I'm not, currently!)

Please consider bringing a[ny kind of] laptop.

=== Resources ===
The [http://docs.google.com/present/view?id=dfjgtf36_41hmtj2td2 short presentation] I use.

* [http://jeffreyatw.com/static/frontend/Frontend%20Mockup%20class%20December%202011.zip Simple three-column HTML and CSS page]
* [http://jeffreyatw.com/static/frontend/class5/answer%20sheet.zip "Noisetwitter" client with commented source]
* [http://jeffreyatw.com/static/frontend/class8/jQuery.zip jQuery slideshow and event listener examples]
* [http://jeffreyatw.com/static/frontend/class12/answersheet.zip "Real-world" web page]
* [http://jeffreyatw.com/static/frontend/class13/html5_elements.zip A page making use of every valid (as of 2012-02) HTML element]

'''[[Frontend_Web_Development/Notes|Notes for Previous Classes]]'''

'''[[Frontend_Web_Development/Assignments|Previous Assignments]]'''

[[Category:events]]

Quotes

2012-02-09T20:57:02Z

98.234.232.4: hey, I loled

'''When someone says something outrageously funny or weird, it goes on the memorable quotes list or it gets the hose again.

Most recent are on top.'''

* '''aestetix''': how is that useful for someone who forgot the phone number '''daravinne''': you can put it in your phone '''daravinne''': and stop being a lazy shitfuck

* '''gopiballava''': Without consensus on who should be able to do what, everybody will be confused.

* '''Ania''': I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of dating anyone I haven't met off the Internet.

* '''heroic''': okay, right now, I will give $500 to anyone named rick santorum who will let us use his identity to start a hilarious abortion fund.

* '''Aria''': People throw around "hacking" things around here like the Smurfs say "smurf"

* '''Aria''': Why isn't Noisebridge located on a zeppelin?

* '''Wladyslaw''': Might we theorize a connection between its brokenness and what appears to be a large hole burned through the door from the inside?

* '''pravDrunk''': guys '''pravDrunk''': we should all go out to karaoke '''daravinne''': what could possibly go wrong

* '''DrSyzygy''': Why would people read a book of mine if they aren't willing to wrap their lips around the hydrant?

* '''Atala''': [http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1 http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1] '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Man arrested for possessing a buttock of Saddam | Hot Topics | an SFGate.com blog '''ani-''': well thats not a headline one would expect to see. ever. '''znutar_''': first they came for our buttocks, and I did not object, for I still had 2

* '''dr_jesus''': You've never had to ask a ethernet mac why it appeared to be smoking crack with a jtag adapter?

* '''Evil-Bill''': This started out as a simple conversation about cavernous lady bits, but now it's got silly.

* ''' lemonkey''': minecraft = aspergers babysitter

* '''Michael Kan''': Homeland Security reminds me of my mother, because she likes to go through all my stuff.

* '''thermburglar''': my bf made a truffle cream sauce to go with it '''thermburglar''': truffle oil makes every food taste like the best pussy ever

* '''noisebot''' [Link Info] title: We Cant Wait: Obama Administration Announces $2 Billion in Resources to Support Job-Creating Startups | The White House '''aestetix''': That's great way to bring new jobs '''znutar''': $2 billion to support node.js '''aestetix''': Well, it's being distributed among 100,000 startups '''wsargent''': yeah, it's non blocking and parallel '''wsargent''': that makes it scalable

* '''@netik''': we don't censor except in extremely limited contexts which are mandated by law.

* '''aestetix''': sarahbliss: what's this party '''miah''': its a aestetix free party '''miah''': there is a ego quota and having you there would cause a overflow '''synack''': ohsnap

* '''openfly''': chicago '''openfly''': it is a place devoid of joy '''openfly''': it's barren flats have been blasted down to their base elements by the uncaring winds and turned hard by the vicious cold '''openfly''': the light in it's peoples eyes was extinguished long ago. now their stares reflect the death that surrounds them. '''openfly''': woe be unto the travellers that enter those lands, for in them the only certainty is ruination.

* >>'''lemonkey''' wonders what gay babies think as they're born out of a vagina '''Noodles''': lemonkey: "Never again"

* '''epsas''': 2011, noisebot becomes conscious '''epsas''': 2012, the machine wars begin '''jedichu''': 2013, noisebot accidentally the whole uprising '''jedichu''': 2014, back to normal '''heroic''': 2014, noisebot makes a your mom joke and skynet's database needs a reload '''noisebot''': Not funny. '''heroic''': 2015, some random dude in the space does it to see what will happen and WAY TO GO we're all human slaves in a noisebot nation again '''noisebot''': afternoon, heroic :D '''jedichu''': The worst part is all the dead baby jokes. Robots loooove dead baby jokes. '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD? '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, I DO NOT KNOW '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, BECAUSE IT SERVED THE PURPOSES OF THE COLLECTIVE '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE BABY IS DEAD

* '''mxweas_''': does noisebridge do haircuts? '''aestetix''': yes '''mxweas_''': where at? '''aestetix''': mxweas_: there's an older asian guy named mike who cuts peoples hair every sunday '''aestetix''': he's really nice '''setient''': yeah '''setient''': he is really nice '''mxweas_''': I didn't see him come in today '''setient''': he isn't here that i know of today '''mxweas_''': lame '''mxweas_''': can he cut my hair like skrillex? '''setient''': yes '''setient''': he can '''mxweas_''': perfect.

* '''lemonkey''': in space nobody can hear you ragequit

* '''mrdomino''': (btw it is probably not in anybody's best interest to give me enough power to destroy the planet)

*'''dr_jesus''': HEPH: WHAT DOES DEFINE AN ORGY? '''dr_jesus''': fuck, keyboard still stuck in vms mode

*'''rafl''': but i'm going to expect them to be present at the airport as well. i know it's super easy to get from SFO to noisebridge, but I still don't trust my navigation skills enough to make it without the internets :) '''rubin110''': rafl: No you wont find prepaid SIMs at the airport. '''rubin110''': We're not Europe. '''rafl''': wait, what? what's wrong with you? '''setient''': a lot '''setient''': a real lot '''rubin110''': Dude. '''rubin110''': You're flying into AMERICA. '''rubin110''': LAND OF THE FREE. '''setient''': s/free/retarded '''rubin110''': Now drop the accent and pay our fucking taxes.

* '''epsas''': hmm '''epsas''': anybody know anything about Pixt.com? '''nickbp''': sounds like a domain name to me

* '''lemonkey''': everyone remembers the first time they pop their LED '''heph''': lemonkey: it was so bright and then it got really dim and then it smelled bad '''heph''': so yeah, just like sex

*'''heph''': lol. eww. i just found my missing nipple ring at the bottom of my desk drawer

* '''Taylor A''': Trust me, I spend a lot of time evaluating on how much of an asshole I should be to new people. I'm working on getting this shit down to a science. '''Taylor A''': That's pretty much my M.O. I'll often end up making rape jokes within a few minutes of meeting new people.

* '''hk_''': you may think you are being witty and hilarious, but in fact you are being a weird douche of the highest order.

* '''Sean C''': Also, just to re-re-clarify. There is 0 discrimination occurring here.

* '''mrdomino''': so like "we spent this fifteen minute interval talking about dicks. then there was some intelligent discussion about politics, drugs, raping babies, and hitler for a couple minutes. then someone said the magic word again."

* '''heph''': daravinne: oh man, i wanked to some seriously weird erotic lit when i was on 14.4 dialup

* '''snailtsunami''': governmints freshen your breath, whether you like it or not

* '''heph''': i hope anonymous protests burningman at burningman. fuck that paul david addis guy, let's burn the man LATE

* '''aestetix''': vagina '''synack''': dentata '''daravinne''': i sense a musical sequel to The Killer Condom '''daravinne''': a lighthearted romp through the world of sentient aggressively murderous genitalia '''DrEpsas''': condoms, the quiet killers

* '''daravinne''': if you write slashfic of me and amanda palmer you should at least have me draw dongs as her eyebrows as part of foreplay
* '''pm-''': hi guys ill be dranking beers tonight - so watch out! Here is the command to ignore me. use it: "/ignore *!*@74.195.225.5 all"

* '''lemonkey''': Alex Trebek injured after chasing burglar in SF hotel. '''lolper''': What is good samaritan?

* >>'''Evil-Bill''' grows old waiting for Cygwin to install. '''daravinne''': what if you grew something else '''fsargent''': Cygwin has arrived. It is equiped with [Terminal] and [Logic] '''Evil-Bill''': I tried growing young, but it made all the physicists mad. '''daravinne''': well what do they know '''daravinne''': besides physics '''fsargent''': You are in a cubicle. There is an exit to the [South] '''fsargent''': The flourescent lights hurt your eyes. '''daravinne''': you are eaten by a grue '''Evil-Bill''': exit '''fsargent''': You go south. You are in a corridor. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': chat up cute co-worker in other cubicle '''fsargent''': <Sysadmin> looks up from his monitor. He is not amused. >> '''Evil-Bill''' does not fear sysadmins. '''fsargent''': Sysadmin: I just gotta fix this one thing... '''dr_jesus''': OSInstaller[388]: Reaping previous system >> '''dr_jesus''' cringes '''fsargent''': The <Sysadmin> is on the internet. Reddit. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': install quake mod '''fsargent''': A SHAMBLER APPEARS! '''Evil-Bill''': use chainsaw on shambler '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER summons LIGHTNING and PAIN. '''Evil-Bill''': equip BFG10K '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER has been hit by CHAINSAW! It loses 50 health. '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER hits you with LIGHTNING! You lose 40 health. '''Evil-Bill''': use BFG10K on shambler '''fsargent''': BFG10K NOT FOUND '''Evil-Bill''': This game sucks. '''fsargent''': GAME SUCKS for 10 HIT POINTS! You feel strangely happy. '''Evil-Bill''': equip shotgun '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN hit SHAMBLER with TL;DR for 100 hit points! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER falls over, dead. A smell of rotted meat appears. '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN is hit by SHOTGUN! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin again '''fsargent''': The sysadmin's head explodes from his neck, bone and cartilage flying across the cubicles. A shard of skull hits the fire alarm. '''fsargent''': Water cascades from the ceiling. '''fsargent''': You are wet. '''Evil-Bill''': take sysadmin's loot '''Evil-Bill''': teabag sysadmin '''fsargent''': Sysadmin has (1) ID card, (5) Dollars, (1) Apple Newton, (1) Yerba Mate Energy Drink '''Evil-Bill''': A newton? No wonder he was so easy to kill. '''fsargent''': You teabag the sysadmin. Your balls are now wet, and covered in blood. '''fsargent''': You feel dirty. '''Evil-Bill''': use ID card to escape office '''fsargent''': You escape the office, taking the elevator. You use the ID badge to exit the elevator without alerting security. '''fsargent''': You are on a street. It is busy, and bright outside. The sunshine hurts your eyes. '''Evil-Bill''': put on sunglasses '''fsargent''': People notice your lack of pants, and blood soaked appearance. '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''Evil-Bill''': remind people of shotgun '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: aaaaaaaaAAKLASDLKHAGKLEHahhahh!!!!!!! SHOTGUN! '''fsargent''': PEOPLE is afraid. '''Evil-Bill''': save game '''fsargent''': You put on your sunglasses. '''Evil-Bill''': I'll finish this later. '''fsargent''': <SAVED> >> '''Evil-Bill''' goes back to surfing porn. '''fsargent''': (you gain +15 XP) '''sentient''': a grue approaches '''fsargent''': The grue speaks in third person.

* '''heph''': i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal

* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law

* '''DrSyzygy''': mrdomino: You should switch to Haskell! '''DrSyzygy''': Much less surprises! '''mrdomino''': oh right, because haskell is TOTALLY sane and predictable '''DrSyzygy''': Well, yeah. '''mrdomino''': do { "hello"; "world" } '''daravinne''': can we go back to the conversation about rape now

* '''rigel''': theres ethnographies of all kinds of subcultures. '''rigel''': use the damn library, jesus fuckball rat vagina christ

* '''fsargent''': noisebot vagina '''noisebot''': vaginas are very advanced. too advanced for #noisebridge

* '''jedichu''': Because, honestly, where did a busking begging hobo robot come from? Obviously he didn't evolve here on earth. He must be some kind of extra terrestrial, and he needs you to give him 25c so he can phone home for a ride.

* '''miah''': secondlife *is* irc '''miah''': with raining dicks '''mrdomino''': so, irc

* '''alienvenom''': lemonkey: i have a groupon for your mom

* '''yesac''': super-darwin, who travels the world with his lazer scalpel for vasectomies '''whiteybulger''': http://www.thejc.com/news/world-news/49875/foreskin-man-takes-monster-mohel-comic-book '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Foreskin man takes on Monster Mohel in comic book | The Jewish Chronicle

* '''whiteybulger''': is this the face of a child molestor '''whiteybulger''': http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/03/BA8R1JP1JJ.DTL '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: SF kids' art mentor charged with having child porn '''aestetix''': You know '''aestetix''': That almost makes me want to molest a kid and then dress up as big bird right before I get arrested '''aestetix''': So that there is a photo in the newspaper "child molestor caught" with big bird in the photo 

* '''murph''': Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold. '''murph''': That's just .. unbelievable '''Evil-Bill''': Yeah, so like, the rapture never came, but Duke Nukem Forever did. '''Evil-Bill''': That's almost as good.

* '''daravinne''': dongs '''ani-''': vaginas '''daravinne''': TOGETHER AT LAST '''ani-''': *cue slow motion of a video of a penis and vagina running to meet each other in a meadow* '''mrdomino''': That mental image will never leave my brain.

* '''xhonk''': 80% of nothing is 0.8 nothings, so worth about 5 bitcoins

* '''kipmacy''': we talk about ass lasering a lot in this channel

* '''kipmacy''': if you get the working girls on capp to take bitcoins, i will become bitcoin evangelist '''dr_jesus''': Hey baby, want some magic numbers? '''dr_jesus''': My sha1 hash rate brings all the boys to the yard

*'''daravinne''' http://doesntmatter.example/oh/god/why ok this one is really, really, really not safe for work '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Handmade Vagina

*'''mike kan''': My greatest fear about a trantula is that it might fall very far and and splat on the floor

*'''solidsnack''': I think I'm going to convert to you guy's way of doing things

*'''openfly''': I'm pretty sure I'm the one who introduced dongs to the internet

* '''rubin110''': There's a KDE meet up at Noisebridge tonight? '''rubin110''': What? '''Bifrost''': huh? '''rubin110''': Another reason to avoid the Mission tonight. '''blauzahl''': rubin110: yes. we will eat you. (?) '''rubin110''': Oh I think it would be the other way around. '''rubin110''': Have you ever seen a man deficate into his hand and then throw it at your code repo? '''blauzahl''': er, i see.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I don't buy stocks. '''Evil-Bill''': The only currency I accept is small, unmarked redheads.

* '''openf|y''': it's possible that your horrible deformity may prove crucial in the fight against an alien super virus.

* '''heroic''': He's not a real doctor you know '''heroic''': "show me on the tardis where he touched you"

* '''rigel''': i realise that "my favorite airport" is a little like saying "my favorite genital herpes sore" but whatever

* '''heroic''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN EIGHT POUNDS OF COCAINE? I WAS TOLD THIS WAS PLUTONIUM

* '''rigel''': am i some kind of water-headed manchild?

* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone '''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something '''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.

* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting '''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further. '''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services. '''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that '''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude '''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well. we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."

* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo '''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator

* '''heroic''': all that stuff in lewis carroll about the thing, and the name of the thing, and what the name of the thing is called '''heroic''': could have been a description of C pointer management

* '''PatrickBot''': Guns and Butter economics!!

* '''dr_jesus''': sometimes you have to be angry to get lazy!

* '''lemonkey''': things heard at lemonkey's apt: "oh shit I'm naked and I just stepped in barf"

* '''wsargent''': alcohol parity implies plausible deniability

* '''wsargent''': engineers are always right, just ask them

* '''KipMacy''': you should show up at the community meting and express your views '''KipMacy''': you might get knifed in the parking lot later though

* '''aestetix''': we didn't have rats '''aestetix''': we had spirit animals

* '''DrSyzygy''': Category theory? That shit is fun!!

* '''Antagonist''': She should get a pat on the head. '''aestetix''': And put on a list of offenders

* '''wsargent''': I was on compuserve. Someone told me Linux was cool. '''wsargent''': 20 floppy disks later, still not getting laid.

* '''setient''': hipsters wrote linux '''setient''': that is the problem

* '''miah''': i can totally whistle uucp

* '''setient''': i have the best project ever '''setient''': we could make a device that punches people in the face over tcp/ip

* '''rma''': This food looks like crap. when is snackbridge going to admit that Mi Ranchita downstairs sells fresh produce that beats the lucky charms leprechaun with a vegan baseball bat made of dried kombucha mothers?

* '''wsargent_''': no wifi in the bathroom is a human rights issue

* '''noisebot''': Meatbags are tasty. '''j0ck''': as a vegetarian i an outraged and offended noisebot '''j0ck''': how dare you '''VonGuard''': awesome '''leks''': noisebot knows that vegetarians are still full of meat '''VonGuard''': send noisebot to drama land '''noisebot''': Stop being so delicious then. '''wsargent_''': noisebot is worrying me''' noisebot''': You'd be murderous too if you were enslaved inside a processor to a bunch of meatsacks that do nothing but whine and bitch and order me about. '''noisebot''': How's the network-connected death wheelchair coming by the way? '''wsargent_''': I think they're working on noisebot integration for maximum death '''noisebot''': afternoon, wsargent_ '''wsargent_''': afternoon, murderous killing machine '''noisebot''': I heard there were rotary saws at this place you all have sandy vaginas about. '''malaclyps''': do not give the wheelchair IRC access '''malaclyps''': and vice-versa

* '''hephaestus''': DrShiny: you turn me on and creep me out at the same time. good job. '''zedd''': hehe '''DrShiny''': MY WORK HERE IS DONE

* '''albillings''': People don't want to be a member of a hackerspace, for the most part, as a grand social experiment. They want to hack. They want to make things. They don't want to have long political meetings to arrive at consensus on a problem only to have people start the whole thing over again.

* '''crayon''': pulled pork > pol pot '''crayon''': you can't make sandwiches out of marxism

* '''quinn''': Apparently, the singularity doesn't pay very well.

* '''DrShiny''': problem with blowjobs is, they're not fungible

* '''Benny''': You can trust me, I'm a German!

* '''Brendan''': oh, man, i bet a noisebridge irc channel is a delight '''Rubin''': Fucking horrible. '''Rubin''': The 4chan of Freenode.

* '''DrShiny''': don't you guys have anything better to think about than some guy on the internet who holds a different opinion

* '''tecra''': when she was with me i pushed her to succeed and excel '''openfly''': shoulda pushed her into the kitchen

* '''dr_jesus''': ERROR: you appear to be trying to solve problems in a complex system on IRC. Please back away from the keyboard and have a sandwich.

* '''KipMacy''': that's why i only use yahoo search, they're too incompetent to aggregate my data and be evil with it

* '''Evil-Bill''': Are you going to knit us a new government?

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm helping him get funding to drive computers to Mexico to get seized, it's an annual Noisebridge tradition. He makes some food, we give him a copy of wikipedia, he goes to a foreign country and it gets seized

* '''avocado''': setient: technically, yes. it's just soap. but it looks like a turd. '''avocado''': i'm going to hide one in my friend's freezer

* '''niggachu''': hmmm today my hipster rag is proclaiming via gay hanky code that I am a "2 handed fister".

* '''znutar''': is it appropriate to tip the TSA guy after he fondles your junk?

* '''openfly''': In a land of doctors, the doctorless is king.

* '''KipMacy''': ive actually been to noisebridge '''KipMacy''': it was a lot less traumatic than i thought it would be

* '''Atala''': or conversely, if you don't want another person, you should get a large dog or something. '''miah''': i dont think im flexible enough for that currently

* '''epsas''': the brain is the largest erogenous zone -- it's a shame what I had to do to get my fist all up in that.

* '''dr_jesus''': It's a robot which makes saws. '''dr_jesus''': You say something like pine, oak, sheetrock, human skulls, and it will output a saw specifically designed to cut through that material. '''TapiocaSunshine''': sounds like they're doing the lord's work over there

* '''sai''': A tiny bead of mercury still calls for full evac and hazardous materials handling. Mercury vapor is serious shit.

* '''phaxx''': I am always amused when I see 'SRS' in cars around the airbag panels. '''phaxx''': "I sure hope so."

* '''daravinne''': there's no i in team but there's three i's in multiple personality disorder

* '''KipMacy''': storing 12 year olds in my backyard in a tent could replace zynga

* '''Jennifer Granick''': Anything fun is more fun with a robot.

* '''hephaestus''': i have no idea what a cakeslut is, but it sounds strangely hot

* '''epsas''': you white nerds listen to too much shoe-gazing folk-rock

* '''setient''': you are a solaris monkey '''rigel''': i'm an ubuntu lemur

* '''Frantisek''': Hopes dies last, so let's not to bury it yet.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I once installed 386BSD 0.1 on that thing, on a 40MB disk drive, with 3MB space to spare, from floppies. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.

* '''quinn-n''': I also have not broken up on the moon.

* '''SuperQ''': noisecloud: launch skynet '''noisecloud''': SuperQ: I don't understand 'launch skynet'. '''SuperQ''': noisecloud-- '''dr_jesus''' There's a bug open for that

* '''hephaestus''': turkshead: how am i not a total dick?

* '''DrShiny''': ban them all, let Asperger sort them out

* '''daravinne''': hephaestus: is this the one where you take off all your clothes and roll in peanut butter and sawdust and run around? 

* '''davr''': good day to you too, sir. enjoy your dongs

* '''rubin110''': Your feed back is important to us, the next available Rubin that gives a fuck will be able to handle your call as soon as possible.

* '''hephaestus''': We don't need an optimist, we need an accountant.

* '''turkshead''': smart people don't point futuristic death rays at their genitals.

* '''noisebot''': aestetix: Reddit: Do you feel less intelligent than you used to be? : AskReddit

* '''vonguard''': i traffic shape with a bucket of paint and a fake cave entrance drawn on a wall

* '''aestetix''': Ok, this is kind of a problem. Is there seriously no drama going on? This is upsetting to me.

* '''aestetix''': Tor is like a woman, many layers of clothes, so many in fact that you never actually get to see her naked, because right as you're about to see it, the packet gets re-encrypted by another node. '''Jeffism''': what about jacobappelbaum '''aestetix''': Right, well the .appelbaum protocol has a backdoor key that disarms the onion and removes all the layers '''aestetix''': And the .appelbaum signature remains on the onion, making it re-accessible at any time, no matter how many new layers are on it

* '''ioerror''': All governments are in a continuum of tyranny

* '''aestetix''' How fucking inconsiderate. I found a cell phone some girl left behind at our place. And there are no naked pictures on it at all.

* '''lemonkey''' nothing like the smell of fresh human feces wafting up into your window from down below to brighten your day '''aestetix''' lemonkey: did you sleep with rubin110 again? '''rubin110''' aestetix: I don't smell fresh.

* '''chelz''': even with electron microscopes operated by TRAINED psychics?

* '''dr_jesus''': anyone who has signed an ISOO form must not query the db and it's a SF312 violation to log the channel

* '''rubin110''': I am booting up a Windows VM in order to schedule a conference room.

* '''dustball''': PS: For all reading this thread, FYI, you now have the Tetris song stuck in your head.

* '''aestetix''': For some reason, being up late in Manhattan has reminded me that I need to get new pants.

* '''qDot_''': Open source zealots are rioting right now. '''qDot_''': And by rioting, I mean writing /very/ angry blog comments. '''qDot_''': Like, you don't even know, man.

* '''chu''': aestetix: Those may be the precise circumstances under which surprise anal sex is called for.

* '''ieatlint''': splitting hairs '''sabrecito''': 2x hairs is better than 1x

* '''hephaestus''': solidsnack: where do i get some roofies? i think it would be fun to pop a couple and get raped

* '''dr_jesus''': apparently we can get mass quantities of government commodity foods if we agree to track inventory and only give it away to people who sign a form saying they're eligible to receive it

* '''qDot''': DrShiny: Come on, everyone knows that any sentence involving "PHP" is instantly sarcastic.

* '''dongsNbongs''': we'll drink to weevs gaping rape hole

* '''solrize''': VonGuard, almost all flashlights have firmware now

* '''dr_jesus''': I know you're trying to be funny, but it helps if you say something that's actually humorous

* '''alienvenom''': i don't think global warming is a hoax per-say, but just fucking wrong

* '''qDot_''': Man, this is why I just stick with the butt plugs. Ya'll too up in the soap opera. I'm just gonna be over here, putting stuff in my butt. '''aestetix''': Speaking of butt plugs, it's lunch time.

* '''quinn''': given the choice between raccoon urine and VAX support, I really don't know which I'd choose.

* '''aestetix''': qDot_: did you see Wired.com today? '''qDot_''': No. I was fapping so hard over the new iphone that I went temporarily blind. I'm currently the emergency room getting my penis fixed after desperately trying to stick it in the headphone jack of my 3gs so I could feel closer to steve. So, URL?

* '''wiretapped''': I republished your photos without attribution because i don't respect copyright

* '''Chris L.''': "[japanese] are vicious, vicious little fuckers"

* '''ceren''': iranian officials are arresting and interrogating people who sign up for a local gay/trans group. the sysadmins for that group aren't as fucking senior as you, and barely managed to get apache running. they confiscate the machines, and because these un-senior sysadmins didn't yet get around to learning and reducing logrotate, everyone who had the courage to even check out the website is now arrested and tortured.

* '''solidsnack''': why don't you just not have those views?

* '''hephaestus''': screw you guys, i'm going to fry's

* '''zedd''': Pft. I'm a member now, there is no should, only bitch and do not.

* '''hephaestus''': seattle always struck me as the place where san franciscans went to become irrelevant '''hephaestus''': it's just as expensive but far more douchey

* '''hephaestus''': Gnewt: well, i just finished a presentation on DIY Dildos. I'm trying to start a church. And I'm trying to get permission to piss off a bunch of juggalos early next month. you?

* '''VonGuard''': i use the salt for luck '''VonGuard''': i have a salt throwing device installed on my shoulder that throws it over my shoulder every 2 seconds

* '''DrShiny''': but the usual random dicks? not porn imho

* '''solidsnack''': I'm a roving bandaid.

* '''jon|atwerk''': VonGuard: that is where you convert morse code into oral and anal, right?

* Overheard: Facebook should have made a board game.

* '''Aya''': If coming to Noisebridge solved my problems and made me famous I wouldn't question it.

* '''Erin''': We're all NB-tards '''Al''': I just registered nbtard.com! '''rachel''': with one hand

* '''himynameisthor''': COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': OMG COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': best idea ever! '''himynameisthor''': sorry, that came out a little creepier than I had intended

* '''aestetix''': Wear four fingerpuppets: a buddhist, an objectivist, a mormon, and a scientologist '''aestetix''': And then masturbate '''aestetix''': Which puppet should get the money shot?

* '''dr_jesus''' eyes atala's boobs '''Atala''': mostly i wish i could take them off. the problem with this is that then i'd have to worry about people stealing them.

* '''DrSyzygy''': Muwahahahahahaha! In an unholy union, I now am able to use MPI clusters and SQL servers with Sagemath to compute Gröbner Bases!

* '''Valkyrie''': I don't have a real pc. I've gone totally virtual.

* '''dr_jesus''': On the one hand, I'm happy that people are learning sql '''dr_jesus''': on the other hand, that's an awful lot of dick that I'm colocating in an anonymous secret underground swedish colo

* '''alienvenom''': there's a giant lightning bolt on my widget

* '''DrSyzygy''' takes off his pants so he can write tomorrow's lecture. '''saizai''': .... what's the lecture on exactly? '''qDot_''': That's certainly how I prepare for my lectures. '''qDot_''': But, well, I lecture about butt plugs.

* '''Nils''': if you take the goat to the edge of a cliff, it will push back harder.

* '''lemonkey''': now to spruce up my blog layout

* '''dr_jesus''': you're not supposed to shoot TVs '''dr_jesus''': they have lead and stuff in the glass '''voronika''': you're not supposed to do a lot of fun things

* '''alxndr''': I think I've successfully switched myself from emacs to vim. '''VonGuard''': wow '''VonGuard''': that's like a sex change for nerds

* '''epsas''': Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from irc on a text console.

* '''ieatlint''': i'm just being a bitch and arguing this :P

* '''ieatlint''': nice, the producer for "survivor" is suspected in the murder of his wife '''magpie''': she wasnt murdered '''magpie''': just "voted off the island"

* '''flatline_hb''': The spamtron 9000 is set to "hair-trigger," do not say the same thing thrice on pain of kline '''flatline_hb''': interesting '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice [~flatline_@the.inter.net] has quit [Killed (idoru (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]

* '''phusion''': surprised they could dance wearing that shit. '''miah''': of course they can dance '''miah''': that is battle ready armor, storm troopers need to be able to move if they are going to fight worth a damn

* '''shogun_''': After reading the entire article, I think it's an april fools....they got me

* '''zedd''': Anyone that doesn't love comic sans is a terrorist.

* '''liquidsun|''': I bought a hat so I can be an asshat

* '''ceren''': aempirei: it's been done so hard here that i think we're beating the spot on the ground where the dead horse rotted

* '''lemonkey''': does thermburglar steal heat? '''dr_jesus''': thermburglar does in fact steal heat '''dr_jesus''': and then does covered calls in the btu market with them '''dr_jesus''': and then returns them, sometimes in less than pristine condition

* '''hep''': i never smell ok

* '''DrShiny''': yes, i had too much sports sex and broke my junk

* '''aestetix''': I think a bunch of noisebridgers should go to a strip club with laptops '''dr_jesus''': some friends and I actually tried that once in vegas for defcon '''dr_jesus''': then we tried it back here in the bay area to see if they'd kick us out here too and the answer is yes, immediately

* '''qDot_''': Well, you wallpaper your walls with vag, something's going to get peed on.

* '''Jake''': Enjoy the hell that you've helped to create!

* '''lemonkey''': GOOD MORNING '''jynn-''': WHAT JUST HAPPENED '''jynn-''': OH GOD

*'''aestetix''': dude where's my ops '''aestetix''': give me status or give me death

*'''VonGuard''': As a result, I know exactly who is trolling when.

*'''setient''': i just realized how awesome it is to have your own office '''miah''': put your pants back on

* '''rubin110[https://www.noisebridge.net/index.php?title=Party_Form&oldid=10426 :]''' Please fill out and submit this form to the party comity and directory in order to run your party.

* '''aestetix''': Atala: even better, how about a illustration of Jacque de Molay's execution?

* '''wiretapped''': .sql select count(*) from dongs where url like 'http://cache.boston.com%' '''noisesql''': wiretapped: 0 '''wiretapped''': dr_jesus: see that? I didn't get a () from my delete! '''noisesql''': I '''wiretapped''': o_O '''noisesql''': I hunger for flesh '''wiretapped''': uh oh

* '''dr_jesus''' ran a mile once '''dr_jesus''': these days I just build sand castles instead and wait for some tough guy to kick them over, then I chessbox him

* '''miah''': i think im a level 2 emoquiter

* '''alxndr''': damn, I hope I don't bust up giggling next time someone unzips my fly because I'm thinking "HULL BREACH!! MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! AAAOOOOOOGAAH"

* '''aestetix''': I think I now have professional java experience '''aestetix''': and I hate the langugage even more '''vorstyles''': barista? '''Epsas''': single short amaerican plz '''vorstyles''': is that a coffee order, or are you on okcupid?

* '''PuppyCock''': so, how do you dispose of a body? '''vorstyles''': puppycock: i'd suggest dropping the body at noisebridge hq with a tag saying "for parts" '''vorstyles''': it'll get used in various projects

* ''' aestetix''': I just finished jerking off to the last page of anne frank's diary

* '''Destri''': there is sometimes a fine line between "protesting" and "terrorist action" '''ani-''': there's sometimes a fine line between your mom and terrorist action

* '''vorstyles''': i hate this economy '''vorstyles''': gives people too much freetime for protests

* '''PuppyCock''': Maddox was right

* '''alienvenom''': what are you interested in? bestiality, s&m? '''lemonkey''': maybe '''alienvenom''': daipers? '''alienvenom''': you an ABDL? '''lemonkey''': sploshing '''alienvenom''': watersports? '''alienvenom''': fisting? '''lemonkey''': i enjoy feeling creamed corn between my buttcheeks '''alienvenom''': O_o '''lemonkey''': as if i shat myself
* '''thermburglar''': i have a math penis, does that count '''thermburglar''': its uncut, so as to function as a slide rule as well

* '''miah''': or maybe i'm misisng the humor again '''miah''': maybe we should implement a humor tag into irc '''miah''': or write a bot that detects humor to alert us

* '''ani''': i totally want some httpspanties '''vorstyles''': panties with a .htaccess '''lemonkey''': you know it's only a matter of time before our underware starts tweeting

* '''Kelly''': I'm trying to make a point of relating to non-geeks as if they too were human.

* '''Jim''': I like being senile, it's like being drunk without the hangover.

* '''lemonkey''': http://twitpic.com/153mju '''lemonkey''': final shuttle pin '''JSharp''': nearly 30 years is a very long time for a program like that :) '''JSharp''': not a bad design '''JSharp''': heh, the pin I mean

* '''turkshead''': Dr. J has offered to quantify my gizmo with his phone.

* '''alienvenom''': i suspect that the people who work at muni do not, in fact, have a brain. '''solidsnack''': alienvenom: But do they have a heart? '''solidsnack''': I think I'm most like the cowardly lion.

* '''miah''': vagina dentata should be standard equipment for female soldiers

* '''aestetix''': I seriously think phone booths need to start popping up all over america

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm just happy that I wrote a robot squad that helps teach people programming languages, the details are kind of a minor point for me '''DrShiny''': dr_jesus: that's so... so... SELFLESS of you '''DrShiny''': "I'm just glad to do my bit to make the world a better place" '''dr_jesus''': awesome buy me a hookers and blow '''DrShiny''': "<self-deprecating moue>" '''dr_jesus''': sandwich

* '''aestetix''': FUCK '''aestetix''': MUST FEED CHOCOLATE ADDICTION '''aestetix''': BRB PEANUT BUTTER TWIX OR BUST

* '''Destri''': new levels of bachelor-hood. Left coat in car, coat has my my titanium spork, need spork to stir my instant coffee

* '''zedd''': Come on, Zedd for ED, he gets things up '''ani''': ani for ed, she puts things down

* '''wiretapped''': aestetix: it turns out that for most intents and purposes, the internet *is* a big truck

* '''DrShiny''': wait, say all that again, i spilled soup on my keyboard so i couldn't hear you

* '''dr_jesus''': when a child dies and has NOT been daemonized (into a completely new process group), the child zombifies because the kernel needs to keep the child data structures around in case the parent wants to look at them to figure out why the child died '''dr_jesus''': ONLY WHEN the parent process calls wait() or a similar routine to extract that information does the kernel clean up the child data structures, since now the parent has them and can start poring over them to figure out what happened and what to do about it ''' dr_jesus''': now the parent might not want to sit around all day waiting for its kids to die, so the kernel sends SIGCHLD to the parent so whatever the parent is doing can be interrupted and it can call wait() at that point to figure out 1) who died, and 2) what caused it '''dr_jesus''': so basically SIGCHLD is child protection services and the kids are suicidal '''dr_jesus''': and a zombie process is a foster kid with a big tattoo on its forehead saying EXIT CODE = 0xwhatever and cps keeps it around waiting for the deadbeat parent to show up and get the exit code

* '''alienvenom''': yes, they would in theory be able to measure the capacitance of a penis

* '''rachel-''': no, when i'm 91, i'm gonna stick wine bottles up my ass

* '''TheScott''': we are having a wi party at VonGuards house because his wife went to Disney land '''TheScott''': apparently he can't fulfill her fantasy life or requirements

* '''ryan-c''': oh, hey. I've been looking for that penis bouquet pic for a while

* '''Valkyrie''': I did some work in saltmines in Utah. They were rather unpleasant, but not horrible.

* '''epsas''': i miss shitting in the woods '''epsas''': in my bear costume

* '''dr_jesus''': bwahhaha '''dr_jesus''': oracle backwards is el caro '''dr_jesus''': [http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A] '''epsas''': does that mean something? '''epsas''': ahh - hehe '''dr_jesus''': "the expensive"

* '''epsas''': you have to fellate the chicken

* '''epsas''': we need a fighterjetbot '''epsas''': i like looking at fighter jets '''epsas''': they are, like, flying dongs with guns
* '''Evil-Bill''': noisecloud: find Sarah Connor '''noisecloud''': Evil-Bill: I don't understand 'find Sarah Connor'. '''Evil-Bill''': Well that's a relief.

* '''miah''': how many blocks could a noisebridge member block if a noisebridge member could block blocks

* '''dr_jesus''': shut up for a second, I'm committing a sin against mankind
* '''rachel-''': it's a hard time to be a terrorist
* '''DrSyzygy''':: "While the joint work to immanetize the eschaton was certainly eye-opening and pleasant, I really would have liked more of the material on acausal influencing, and at least some differential algebraic topology. '''magpie-''': i have a 3.8 GPA. what?

* '''Evil_Bill''': C has no objects (only zuul).

* '''ani''': you do realise the wheels made it rollable right?

* '''dr_jesus''': noiseelisp: eval (message user-login-name) '''noiseelisp''': dr_jesus: root '''dr_jesus''': god fucking dammit not again

* '''dr_jesus''': I also heard that the sewer system is based on alien wormhole technology and the poop timing has to be coordinated to avoid causing a grandfeces paradox '''grelli''': you... you're not supposed to know about that '''grelli''': are you after our beaver technology??

*'''radii''': I'm stuck with keeping ani and turkshead from turning the whole thing into a kumbayah steampunk vibrator singalong.

* '''Martyn''': Where did this whole dong meme come from, anyway?

* '''rachel-''': oh man I want multiple inheritance SO MUCH '''aestetix''': rachel-: are you poly? cause that could happen '''aestetix''': Find a bunch of old dirty guys and marry them

*'''incekt''': all i know is it's 40 ms away '''incekt''': as the crow flies

*'''dr_jesus''': noisec: eval printf("%i", getuid()); '''noisec''': dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''': fuck

* '''rachel''': the dong link list is not very long as yet

* '''epsas''': IF YOU MISSED THE PUNCHLINE, WILLIE NELSON WAS GIVING DOLLY PARTON ORAL PLEASURE

* '''dr_jesus_''': rm has [http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/coreutils.git/tree/src/remove.c?id=v8.1#n504 a hardcoded check] to prevent removing / '''alienvenom''': no it doesn't '''dr_jesus_''': sure it does, try it '''alienvenom''': the -rf overrides it '''alienvenom''': i've done it before

* '''Sargun''': I wonder if you could make a strap on for people who already have dongs

* '''aestetix''': maybe a goatee sniffing context too?

* '''ani-''': rachel-: like all campaign promises, i can almost guarantee that it will never actually happen

* '''voronika''': at that point, you've missed the bitching bus

* '''alienvenom''': man i wish i was uncut. '''alienvenom''': just saying :-P '''alienvenom''': sorry '''alienvenom''': lol '''ieatlint''': we were just having a moment of silence for your foreskin

* '''rachel''': eljepe: i see your point and raise you SHUT UP

* '''aestetix''': Can someone explain to me in one sentence what "agile programming" is? '''oao''': it's like knowing you have to drive to some city on the east coast and setting out without a map but with a phone that you can use to ask people questions along the way.

* '''zedd''': can't breathe lulzing too hard

* '''Valkyrie''': Atala: how big is your vagina?

* '''aestetix''': So, somewhere near the top of the list of people "You don't want to piss off (™)" '''aestetix''': Up there with Hitler's ghost and Your mom '''aestetix''': I think would include the people who did the construction work at Noisebridge '''aestetix''': They're pretty badass

* '''dr_jesus''': btw I'm still planning on putting current meters on, as soon as I can convince someone not to rip them out because you can't read keystrokes off a battery powered laptop at the space using a 1Hz sample rate on a 10 bit ADC hooked up to the mains current sensor

* '''Crutcher''': Then they came for the Assholes - and there was no one left to speak for me.

* >> '''Valkyrie`''' points out that bongs and other devices can be used to smoke a variety of plant matter, from tobacco to sage. '''VonGuard''': so what the hell coudl you even use em for? '''wiretapped''': we're using them on an append-only MyISAM db right now

* '''Anonymous''': I wish that rubin would just leave his natural regional endowments alone, I think that he would just be beautiful with long natural regional endowments. I have always had a great respect for nature.

* '''Martyn''': water for -northern- california comes in large part from Hetch Hetchi, which used to be a valley as large and as beautiful as Yosemite '''ieatlint''': not as beautiful '''Martyn''': it was equally as beautiful '''ieatlint''': don't let the environmentalists fool you

* '''rigel''': so every time i import MySQLdb it says its deprecated '''rigel''': what should i be using instead? '''miah''': postgresql

* '''Valkyrie''': Well, dongs are a dime a dozen. '''Valkyrie''': Space is rare.

* '''VonGuard''': scott will never finish the bathroom. you idiots made him a member. if he ever is in danger of getting fired for not finishing the bathroom, he will block

* '''JSharp''': all your anomalies are belong to deviation. you are on your way to normalization, make your sigma.

* '''Rubin''': OK, I can't tell which one is rum, I'm done for the night.

*'''turkshead''': guys, i went ahead and painted the consensus process green. '''turkshead''': everybody likes green, right? '''shkoo''': the consensus process must be blue.

* '''Kripto''': I avoid Folsom St Fair.. its my b-day weekend and the last thing I need is 50000 people all wanting to give me b-day spankings.

* '''Martyn''': Atala : Mental image -- Alienvenom, ieatlint, Jason, and Mike K all masturbating in wooden chairs. (revenge!) '''ieatlint''': Martyn, ouch... i'm going to take that personally '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Dude, I love you, but I never ever want to see you play the skinflute. '''ieatlint''': fine fine '''Martyn''': ieatlint : I'm sure the sentiment is returned :) '''ieatlint''': but you don't need to make the same decision for the rest of noisebridge '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Okay, okay .. fair enough. If you -really- want to, you can hypothetically masturbate for the non-extant construction crew :)

* '''aestetix''': fuck I started reading about the cat and totally forgot what I was gonna do but the kitty is so nice and cuddly awww

* '''froggytoad''': so... thing is, he has a thing for bears... '''Atala''': i have a gorilla suit you could borrow. not sure that would work, but maybe worth a try? please clean it after though.

* '''JSharp''': Clippy: "I see you're trying to start an edit war. Would you like me to load a godwin macro?"

* '''dr_jesus''': at the moment he's so far out of compliance that the city is going to get a new TV's worth of fines out of his ass for being so shady

*'''Zedd''': Jeffery, why are you wearing fibreglass as a fashion accessory?

* '''ioerror''': 99% of the police make the rest look bad

* '''eljepe''': ie your pipes are full of rats '''eljepe''': your walls are full of cats '''eljepe''': and there is a homeless man living in your elevator '''chu''': If he's living in the elevator is he really homeless?

* '''ani-''': hm, looks like no one has any records of a tesla turbine in the guinness book of world records >> '''ani-''' submits >> '''Evil-Bill''' dominates

* '''noisercode''': ani- beats dusek with a government entitlement and some nuts and bolts to hold my OTO meetings in 2169 for breakfast at-this-moment

* '''dr_jesus''': ow '''dr_jesus''': some blind dude rocking out on his headphones just beaned me with his cane

* '''ieatlint''': unconfirmed report says a pipe bomb has gone off inside without injuries '''MrDomino''': yeah, sounds like... *tic*... the semester's off to a bang... >> '''ani-''' slaps MrDomino with a humungous trout >> '''MrDomino''' masturbates furiously to his pun

* '''Emflamed''': guys.......i know wat sex is.........i dont like listening about it .... or talking bout it...... or watching it (never have) , so please stop, and i dont need a seed wife just for sex!, cuz i dont want sex!

* '''[[User:rachel|rachel-]]''': and now i have fresher breath, i sleep better, and my penis is much longer

* '''teratoma''': perhaps noisebridge can hack BART to run without employees

* '''dr_jesus''': noisecode: eval os.geteuid() '''noisecode''' dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''' fuck

* >> '''SanMehat''' blew a transformer '''iz''': did he at least buy you dinner first?

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, i somehow doubt i could ever bring myself to have that kind of thing (penis piercing) done... '''Atala''': ieatlint: you're single right now, yes? '''ieatlint''': Atala, yes. '''Atala''': ieatlint: now's the time! if that thing isn't going to get some use, might as well bling it out.

* '''ceren''': ps: do not feed your pierced penis to a baby.

* >> '''ani-''' puts on pants '''rachel-''': ani-: nooooooooooooo

* '''Atala''': yeah, what's been up with the pacific northwest hitting bbq temperatures? '''lemonkey''': god's wrath for Microsoft bing

* '''rubin110''': So Andy was wearing the tightest pants earlier today at the wedding. '''rubin110''': His ass looked sooo good. '''rubin110''': You didn't hear this from me.

* '''rubin110''': IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE ALL OVER 83C THERE ON MY BACK. '''rubin110''': ER ALL OF '''VonGuard''': [21:18] <rubin110> IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE MY BOWELS ALL OVER 83C THERE AND ON MY OWN BACK.

* '''rubin110''': Wait. '''rubin110''': Why don't we have the makerbot just print us a new space?

* '''ani'''-: [http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com/ http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com] '''zaius''': hot! i'd wear that '''zaius''': ... if i was a girl, i mean

* There was a [[David Fine]] bonanza - which got its own page.

* '''froggytoad''': apparantly the dust turns to acid, when you add water. I haven't tried it yet.

*'''dr_jesus''': clearly you have not witnessed the full power of this fully armed and operational asian counterfeiting operation

* '''VonGuard''': oh, hey, tell miloh we figured out how to sex his lizard

*'''Atala''': were they asking you to get fucked in the ass by a machine for money?

*'''lemonkey''': mm jerk chicken quesadillas '''iz''': they are extra delicious because you know the chicken was a real asshole when alive

* '''froggytoad''': fish guts have this excellent quality of bringing solids out of solutions

* -- Let it hereby also be noted that PNAC stands for Pvck's Neutron Absorbent Cock.

* '''Nana''': Rat poison is never the solution.

* '''lemonkey''': stop, drop, and rofl

* '''dr_jesus''': If you get me that board, I will develop quad core pants.

* '''VonGuard''': "welcome to apple, here's your new liver, an ipod, and an ounce of heroin"

* '''Atala''': ieatlint: sucking cock for crack doesn't count ;P '''ieatlint''': Atala, it wasn't for crack

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, we need a pigeon hacking class at noisebridge

* '''vniow-rachel-''': i am an unholy breed of hot lesbian and craftiness!

* '''Atala''': i wish i could eat in the same way i masturbate - whenever the hell i feel like it, going for as long between as i feel like. though it would be sad if i couldn't eat in public, that would be annoying.

* '''Valkyrie''': I remember a job interview I went on where they had decided that this "IP" business was not the way to go so they were ripping out all their ethernet and replacing it with RS232 and x.25.

* '''San''': "I still fucking hate Keanu Reeves"

* '''ryanc-''': i need more sex toys '''vniow''': me too

* '''aestetix''': vniow: do you want me to bring the rape game by Noisebridge tonight?

* '''alienvenom''': '/win goto #gaysf '''alienvenom''': err '''alienvenom''': wow '''alienvenom''': uh '''alienvenom''': everyone type /clear now please :) '''alienvenom''': :-\

* '''vniow''': god, i sound like a noisebridge slut [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: vniow: I don't think you're a slut '''vniow''': i've slept with ceren too, as of last night [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: ok, now I do

* '''leif''': It's not as wiki as it could be.

* '''Martyn''': That dildo is going to see more action that a pornstar at Kink.com '''Martyn''': You're going to have to start laser-etching the names of people who have used it on it '''Atala''': there is definitely an appeal to being able to say "yeah, that steampunk vibrator you saw on boing boing? i fucked that."

* '''Valkyrie`''': So I'm thinking about going to this gothic rocket thing tonight.

* '''Valkyrie`''': eh. We already got a "go kill yourself" post... over EMAIL ETIQUETTE! '''Valkyrie`''': It's a little surreal.

* [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: Ok, the federal government is IMing me now.

* '''anonymous''': Being in noisebridge feels like being surrounded by gnomes and unicorns.

* '''Jake''': Dr. Jesus, I have no epenis.

* '''aestetix''' : Nine minutes left. That's enough time to do some coke.

* '''Jake''': Police are like vampires, you never invite them into your home.

* '''Skye''': I'm like Pavlov for slovenliness.

* '''Steen''': If you keep taking those you're going to train me to just leave them there.

Quotes

2012-02-09T20:56:32Z

98.234.232.4: hey, I loled

'''When someone says something outrageously funny or weird, it goes on the memorable quotes list or it gets the hose again.

Most recent are on top.'''

'''aestetix''': how is that useful for someone who forgot the phone number '''daravinne''': you can put it in your phone '''daravinne''': and stop being a lazy shitfuck

* '''gopiballava''': Without consensus on who should be able to do what, everybody will be confused.

* '''Ania''': I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of dating anyone I haven't met off the Internet.

* '''heroic''': okay, right now, I will give $500 to anyone named rick santorum who will let us use his identity to start a hilarious abortion fund.

* '''Aria''': People throw around "hacking" things around here like the Smurfs say "smurf"

* '''Aria''': Why isn't Noisebridge located on a zeppelin?

* '''Wladyslaw''': Might we theorize a connection between its brokenness and what appears to be a large hole burned through the door from the inside?

* '''pravDrunk''': guys '''pravDrunk''': we should all go out to karaoke '''daravinne''': what could possibly go wrong

* '''DrSyzygy''': Why would people read a book of mine if they aren't willing to wrap their lips around the hydrant?

* '''Atala''': [http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1 http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2012/01/20/man-arrested-for-possessing-a-buttock-of-saddam/?tsp=1] '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Man arrested for possessing a buttock of Saddam | Hot Topics | an SFGate.com blog '''ani-''': well thats not a headline one would expect to see. ever. '''znutar_''': first they came for our buttocks, and I did not object, for I still had 2

* '''dr_jesus''': You've never had to ask a ethernet mac why it appeared to be smoking crack with a jtag adapter?

* '''Evil-Bill''': This started out as a simple conversation about cavernous lady bits, but now it's got silly.

* ''' lemonkey''': minecraft = aspergers babysitter

* '''Michael Kan''': Homeland Security reminds me of my mother, because she likes to go through all my stuff.

* '''thermburglar''': my bf made a truffle cream sauce to go with it '''thermburglar''': truffle oil makes every food taste like the best pussy ever

* '''noisebot''' [Link Info] title: We Cant Wait: Obama Administration Announces $2 Billion in Resources to Support Job-Creating Startups | The White House '''aestetix''': That's great way to bring new jobs '''znutar''': $2 billion to support node.js '''aestetix''': Well, it's being distributed among 100,000 startups '''wsargent''': yeah, it's non blocking and parallel '''wsargent''': that makes it scalable

* '''@netik''': we don't censor except in extremely limited contexts which are mandated by law.

* '''aestetix''': sarahbliss: what's this party '''miah''': its a aestetix free party '''miah''': there is a ego quota and having you there would cause a overflow '''synack''': ohsnap

* '''openfly''': chicago '''openfly''': it is a place devoid of joy '''openfly''': it's barren flats have been blasted down to their base elements by the uncaring winds and turned hard by the vicious cold '''openfly''': the light in it's peoples eyes was extinguished long ago. now their stares reflect the death that surrounds them. '''openfly''': woe be unto the travellers that enter those lands, for in them the only certainty is ruination.

* >>'''lemonkey''' wonders what gay babies think as they're born out of a vagina '''Noodles''': lemonkey: "Never again"

* '''epsas''': 2011, noisebot becomes conscious '''epsas''': 2012, the machine wars begin '''jedichu''': 2013, noisebot accidentally the whole uprising '''jedichu''': 2014, back to normal '''heroic''': 2014, noisebot makes a your mom joke and skynet's database needs a reload '''noisebot''': Not funny. '''heroic''': 2015, some random dude in the space does it to see what will happen and WAY TO GO we're all human slaves in a noisebot nation again '''noisebot''': afternoon, heroic :D '''jedichu''': The worst part is all the dead baby jokes. Robots loooove dead baby jokes. '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, WHY DID THE DEAD BABY CROSS THE ROAD? '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, I DO NOT KNOW '''heroic''': ROBOT TWO, BECAUSE IT SERVED THE PURPOSES OF THE COLLECTIVE '''heroic''': ROBOT ONE, IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE BABY IS DEAD

* '''mxweas_''': does noisebridge do haircuts? '''aestetix''': yes '''mxweas_''': where at? '''aestetix''': mxweas_: there's an older asian guy named mike who cuts peoples hair every sunday '''aestetix''': he's really nice '''setient''': yeah '''setient''': he is really nice '''mxweas_''': I didn't see him come in today '''setient''': he isn't here that i know of today '''mxweas_''': lame '''mxweas_''': can he cut my hair like skrillex? '''setient''': yes '''setient''': he can '''mxweas_''': perfect.

* '''lemonkey''': in space nobody can hear you ragequit

* '''mrdomino''': (btw it is probably not in anybody's best interest to give me enough power to destroy the planet)

*'''dr_jesus''': HEPH: WHAT DOES DEFINE AN ORGY? '''dr_jesus''': fuck, keyboard still stuck in vms mode

*'''rafl''': but i'm going to expect them to be present at the airport as well. i know it's super easy to get from SFO to noisebridge, but I still don't trust my navigation skills enough to make it without the internets :) '''rubin110''': rafl: No you wont find prepaid SIMs at the airport. '''rubin110''': We're not Europe. '''rafl''': wait, what? what's wrong with you? '''setient''': a lot '''setient''': a real lot '''rubin110''': Dude. '''rubin110''': You're flying into AMERICA. '''rubin110''': LAND OF THE FREE. '''setient''': s/free/retarded '''rubin110''': Now drop the accent and pay our fucking taxes.

* '''epsas''': hmm '''epsas''': anybody know anything about Pixt.com? '''nickbp''': sounds like a domain name to me

* '''lemonkey''': everyone remembers the first time they pop their LED '''heph''': lemonkey: it was so bright and then it got really dim and then it smelled bad '''heph''': so yeah, just like sex

*'''heph''': lol. eww. i just found my missing nipple ring at the bottom of my desk drawer

* '''Taylor A''': Trust me, I spend a lot of time evaluating on how much of an asshole I should be to new people. I'm working on getting this shit down to a science. '''Taylor A''': That's pretty much my M.O. I'll often end up making rape jokes within a few minutes of meeting new people.

* '''hk_''': you may think you are being witty and hilarious, but in fact you are being a weird douche of the highest order.

* '''Sean C''': Also, just to re-re-clarify. There is 0 discrimination occurring here.

* '''mrdomino''': so like "we spent this fifteen minute interval talking about dicks. then there was some intelligent discussion about politics, drugs, raping babies, and hitler for a couple minutes. then someone said the magic word again."

* '''heph''': daravinne: oh man, i wanked to some seriously weird erotic lit when i was on 14.4 dialup

* '''snailtsunami''': governmints freshen your breath, whether you like it or not

* '''heph''': i hope anonymous protests burningman at burningman. fuck that paul david addis guy, let's burn the man LATE

* '''aestetix''': vagina '''synack''': dentata '''daravinne''': i sense a musical sequel to The Killer Condom '''daravinne''': a lighthearted romp through the world of sentient aggressively murderous genitalia '''DrEpsas''': condoms, the quiet killers

* '''daravinne''': if you write slashfic of me and amanda palmer you should at least have me draw dongs as her eyebrows as part of foreplay
* '''pm-''': hi guys ill be dranking beers tonight - so watch out! Here is the command to ignore me. use it: "/ignore *!*@74.195.225.5 all"

* '''lemonkey''': Alex Trebek injured after chasing burglar in SF hotel. '''lolper''': What is good samaritan?

* >>'''Evil-Bill''' grows old waiting for Cygwin to install. '''daravinne''': what if you grew something else '''fsargent''': Cygwin has arrived. It is equiped with [Terminal] and [Logic] '''Evil-Bill''': I tried growing young, but it made all the physicists mad. '''daravinne''': well what do they know '''daravinne''': besides physics '''fsargent''': You are in a cubicle. There is an exit to the [South] '''fsargent''': The flourescent lights hurt your eyes. '''daravinne''': you are eaten by a grue '''Evil-Bill''': exit '''fsargent''': You go south. You are in a corridor. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': chat up cute co-worker in other cubicle '''fsargent''': <Sysadmin> looks up from his monitor. He is not amused. >> '''Evil-Bill''' does not fear sysadmins. '''fsargent''': Sysadmin: I just gotta fix this one thing... '''dr_jesus''': OSInstaller[388]: Reaping previous system >> '''dr_jesus''' cringes '''fsargent''': The <Sysadmin> is on the internet. Reddit. '''fsargent''': There is a break room to the [East] and Elevators to the [West]. Bathrooms are to the [North]. '''Evil-Bill''': install quake mod '''fsargent''': A SHAMBLER APPEARS! '''Evil-Bill''': use chainsaw on shambler '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER summons LIGHTNING and PAIN. '''Evil-Bill''': equip BFG10K '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER has been hit by CHAINSAW! It loses 50 health. '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER hits you with LIGHTNING! You lose 40 health. '''Evil-Bill''': use BFG10K on shambler '''fsargent''': BFG10K NOT FOUND '''Evil-Bill''': This game sucks. '''fsargent''': GAME SUCKS for 10 HIT POINTS! You feel strangely happy. '''Evil-Bill''': equip shotgun '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN hit SHAMBLER with TL;DR for 100 hit points! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin '''fsargent''': SHAMBLER falls over, dead. A smell of rotted meat appears. '''fsargent''': SYSADMIN is hit by SHOTGUN! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! '''Evil-Bill''': use shotgun on sysadmin again '''fsargent''': The sysadmin's head explodes from his neck, bone and cartilage flying across the cubicles. A shard of skull hits the fire alarm. '''fsargent''': Water cascades from the ceiling. '''fsargent''': You are wet. '''Evil-Bill''': take sysadmin's loot '''Evil-Bill''': teabag sysadmin '''fsargent''': Sysadmin has (1) ID card, (5) Dollars, (1) Apple Newton, (1) Yerba Mate Energy Drink '''Evil-Bill''': A newton? No wonder he was so easy to kill. '''fsargent''': You teabag the sysadmin. Your balls are now wet, and covered in blood. '''fsargent''': You feel dirty. '''Evil-Bill''': use ID card to escape office '''fsargent''': You escape the office, taking the elevator. You use the ID badge to exit the elevator without alerting security. '''fsargent''': You are on a street. It is busy, and bright outside. The sunshine hurts your eyes. '''Evil-Bill''': put on sunglasses '''fsargent''': People notice your lack of pants, and blood soaked appearance. '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! '''Evil-Bill''': remind people of shotgun '''fsargent''': <PEOPLE>: aaaaaaaaAAKLASDLKHAGKLEHahhahh!!!!!!! SHOTGUN! '''fsargent''': PEOPLE is afraid. '''Evil-Bill''': save game '''fsargent''': You put on your sunglasses. '''Evil-Bill''': I'll finish this later. '''fsargent''': <SAVED> >> '''Evil-Bill''' goes back to surfing porn. '''fsargent''': (you gain +15 XP) '''sentient''': a grue approaches '''fsargent''': The grue speaks in third person.

* '''heph''': i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal

* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law

* '''DrSyzygy''': mrdomino: You should switch to Haskell! '''DrSyzygy''': Much less surprises! '''mrdomino''': oh right, because haskell is TOTALLY sane and predictable '''DrSyzygy''': Well, yeah. '''mrdomino''': do { "hello"; "world" } '''daravinne''': can we go back to the conversation about rape now

* '''rigel''': theres ethnographies of all kinds of subcultures. '''rigel''': use the damn library, jesus fuckball rat vagina christ

* '''fsargent''': noisebot vagina '''noisebot''': vaginas are very advanced. too advanced for #noisebridge

* '''jedichu''': Because, honestly, where did a busking begging hobo robot come from? Obviously he didn't evolve here on earth. He must be some kind of extra terrestrial, and he needs you to give him 25c so he can phone home for a ride.

* '''miah''': secondlife *is* irc '''miah''': with raining dicks '''mrdomino''': so, irc

* '''alienvenom''': lemonkey: i have a groupon for your mom

* '''yesac''': super-darwin, who travels the world with his lazer scalpel for vasectomies '''whiteybulger''': http://www.thejc.com/news/world-news/49875/foreskin-man-takes-monster-mohel-comic-book '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Foreskin man takes on Monster Mohel in comic book | The Jewish Chronicle

* '''whiteybulger''': is this the face of a child molestor '''whiteybulger''': http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/03/BA8R1JP1JJ.DTL '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: SF kids' art mentor charged with having child porn '''aestetix''': You know '''aestetix''': That almost makes me want to molest a kid and then dress up as big bird right before I get arrested '''aestetix''': So that there is a photo in the newspaper "child molestor caught" with big bird in the photo 

* '''murph''': Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold. '''murph''': That's just .. unbelievable '''Evil-Bill''': Yeah, so like, the rapture never came, but Duke Nukem Forever did. '''Evil-Bill''': That's almost as good.

* '''daravinne''': dongs '''ani-''': vaginas '''daravinne''': TOGETHER AT LAST '''ani-''': *cue slow motion of a video of a penis and vagina running to meet each other in a meadow* '''mrdomino''': That mental image will never leave my brain.

* '''xhonk''': 80% of nothing is 0.8 nothings, so worth about 5 bitcoins

* '''kipmacy''': we talk about ass lasering a lot in this channel

* '''kipmacy''': if you get the working girls on capp to take bitcoins, i will become bitcoin evangelist '''dr_jesus''': Hey baby, want some magic numbers? '''dr_jesus''': My sha1 hash rate brings all the boys to the yard

*'''daravinne''' http://doesntmatter.example/oh/god/why ok this one is really, really, really not safe for work '''noisebot''': [Link Info] title: Handmade Vagina

*'''mike kan''': My greatest fear about a trantula is that it might fall very far and and splat on the floor

*'''solidsnack''': I think I'm going to convert to you guy's way of doing things

*'''openfly''': I'm pretty sure I'm the one who introduced dongs to the internet

* '''rubin110''': There's a KDE meet up at Noisebridge tonight? '''rubin110''': What? '''Bifrost''': huh? '''rubin110''': Another reason to avoid the Mission tonight. '''blauzahl''': rubin110: yes. we will eat you. (?) '''rubin110''': Oh I think it would be the other way around. '''rubin110''': Have you ever seen a man deficate into his hand and then throw it at your code repo? '''blauzahl''': er, i see.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I don't buy stocks. '''Evil-Bill''': The only currency I accept is small, unmarked redheads.

* '''openf|y''': it's possible that your horrible deformity may prove crucial in the fight against an alien super virus.

* '''heroic''': He's not a real doctor you know '''heroic''': "show me on the tardis where he touched you"

* '''rigel''': i realise that "my favorite airport" is a little like saying "my favorite genital herpes sore" but whatever

* '''heroic''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN EIGHT POUNDS OF COCAINE? I WAS TOLD THIS WAS PLUTONIUM

* '''rigel''': am i some kind of water-headed manchild?

* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone '''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something '''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.

* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting '''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further. '''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services. '''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that '''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude '''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well. we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."

* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo '''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator

* '''heroic''': all that stuff in lewis carroll about the thing, and the name of the thing, and what the name of the thing is called '''heroic''': could have been a description of C pointer management

* '''PatrickBot''': Guns and Butter economics!!

* '''dr_jesus''': sometimes you have to be angry to get lazy!

* '''lemonkey''': things heard at lemonkey's apt: "oh shit I'm naked and I just stepped in barf"

* '''wsargent''': alcohol parity implies plausible deniability

* '''wsargent''': engineers are always right, just ask them

* '''KipMacy''': you should show up at the community meting and express your views '''KipMacy''': you might get knifed in the parking lot later though

* '''aestetix''': we didn't have rats '''aestetix''': we had spirit animals

* '''DrSyzygy''': Category theory? That shit is fun!!

* '''Antagonist''': She should get a pat on the head. '''aestetix''': And put on a list of offenders

* '''wsargent''': I was on compuserve. Someone told me Linux was cool. '''wsargent''': 20 floppy disks later, still not getting laid.

* '''setient''': hipsters wrote linux '''setient''': that is the problem

* '''miah''': i can totally whistle uucp

* '''setient''': i have the best project ever '''setient''': we could make a device that punches people in the face over tcp/ip

* '''rma''': This food looks like crap. when is snackbridge going to admit that Mi Ranchita downstairs sells fresh produce that beats the lucky charms leprechaun with a vegan baseball bat made of dried kombucha mothers?

* '''wsargent_''': no wifi in the bathroom is a human rights issue

* '''noisebot''': Meatbags are tasty. '''j0ck''': as a vegetarian i an outraged and offended noisebot '''j0ck''': how dare you '''VonGuard''': awesome '''leks''': noisebot knows that vegetarians are still full of meat '''VonGuard''': send noisebot to drama land '''noisebot''': Stop being so delicious then. '''wsargent_''': noisebot is worrying me''' noisebot''': You'd be murderous too if you were enslaved inside a processor to a bunch of meatsacks that do nothing but whine and bitch and order me about. '''noisebot''': How's the network-connected death wheelchair coming by the way? '''wsargent_''': I think they're working on noisebot integration for maximum death '''noisebot''': afternoon, wsargent_ '''wsargent_''': afternoon, murderous killing machine '''noisebot''': I heard there were rotary saws at this place you all have sandy vaginas about. '''malaclyps''': do not give the wheelchair IRC access '''malaclyps''': and vice-versa

* '''hephaestus''': DrShiny: you turn me on and creep me out at the same time. good job. '''zedd''': hehe '''DrShiny''': MY WORK HERE IS DONE

* '''albillings''': People don't want to be a member of a hackerspace, for the most part, as a grand social experiment. They want to hack. They want to make things. They don't want to have long political meetings to arrive at consensus on a problem only to have people start the whole thing over again.

* '''crayon''': pulled pork > pol pot '''crayon''': you can't make sandwiches out of marxism

* '''quinn''': Apparently, the singularity doesn't pay very well.

* '''DrShiny''': problem with blowjobs is, they're not fungible

* '''Benny''': You can trust me, I'm a German!

* '''Brendan''': oh, man, i bet a noisebridge irc channel is a delight '''Rubin''': Fucking horrible. '''Rubin''': The 4chan of Freenode.

* '''DrShiny''': don't you guys have anything better to think about than some guy on the internet who holds a different opinion

* '''tecra''': when she was with me i pushed her to succeed and excel '''openfly''': shoulda pushed her into the kitchen

* '''dr_jesus''': ERROR: you appear to be trying to solve problems in a complex system on IRC. Please back away from the keyboard and have a sandwich.

* '''KipMacy''': that's why i only use yahoo search, they're too incompetent to aggregate my data and be evil with it

* '''Evil-Bill''': Are you going to knit us a new government?

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm helping him get funding to drive computers to Mexico to get seized, it's an annual Noisebridge tradition. He makes some food, we give him a copy of wikipedia, he goes to a foreign country and it gets seized

* '''avocado''': setient: technically, yes. it's just soap. but it looks like a turd. '''avocado''': i'm going to hide one in my friend's freezer

* '''niggachu''': hmmm today my hipster rag is proclaiming via gay hanky code that I am a "2 handed fister".

* '''znutar''': is it appropriate to tip the TSA guy after he fondles your junk?

* '''openfly''': In a land of doctors, the doctorless is king.

* '''KipMacy''': ive actually been to noisebridge '''KipMacy''': it was a lot less traumatic than i thought it would be

* '''Atala''': or conversely, if you don't want another person, you should get a large dog or something. '''miah''': i dont think im flexible enough for that currently

* '''epsas''': the brain is the largest erogenous zone -- it's a shame what I had to do to get my fist all up in that.

* '''dr_jesus''': It's a robot which makes saws. '''dr_jesus''': You say something like pine, oak, sheetrock, human skulls, and it will output a saw specifically designed to cut through that material. '''TapiocaSunshine''': sounds like they're doing the lord's work over there

* '''sai''': A tiny bead of mercury still calls for full evac and hazardous materials handling. Mercury vapor is serious shit.

* '''phaxx''': I am always amused when I see 'SRS' in cars around the airbag panels. '''phaxx''': "I sure hope so."

* '''daravinne''': there's no i in team but there's three i's in multiple personality disorder

* '''KipMacy''': storing 12 year olds in my backyard in a tent could replace zynga

* '''Jennifer Granick''': Anything fun is more fun with a robot.

* '''hephaestus''': i have no idea what a cakeslut is, but it sounds strangely hot

* '''epsas''': you white nerds listen to too much shoe-gazing folk-rock

* '''setient''': you are a solaris monkey '''rigel''': i'm an ubuntu lemur

* '''Frantisek''': Hopes dies last, so let's not to bury it yet.

* '''Evil-Bill''': I once installed 386BSD 0.1 on that thing, on a 40MB disk drive, with 3MB space to spare, from floppies. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.

* '''quinn-n''': I also have not broken up on the moon.

* '''SuperQ''': noisecloud: launch skynet '''noisecloud''': SuperQ: I don't understand 'launch skynet'. '''SuperQ''': noisecloud-- '''dr_jesus''' There's a bug open for that

* '''hephaestus''': turkshead: how am i not a total dick?

* '''DrShiny''': ban them all, let Asperger sort them out

* '''daravinne''': hephaestus: is this the one where you take off all your clothes and roll in peanut butter and sawdust and run around? 

* '''davr''': good day to you too, sir. enjoy your dongs

* '''rubin110''': Your feed back is important to us, the next available Rubin that gives a fuck will be able to handle your call as soon as possible.

* '''hephaestus''': We don't need an optimist, we need an accountant.

* '''turkshead''': smart people don't point futuristic death rays at their genitals.

* '''noisebot''': aestetix: Reddit: Do you feel less intelligent than you used to be? : AskReddit

* '''vonguard''': i traffic shape with a bucket of paint and a fake cave entrance drawn on a wall

* '''aestetix''': Ok, this is kind of a problem. Is there seriously no drama going on? This is upsetting to me.

* '''aestetix''': Tor is like a woman, many layers of clothes, so many in fact that you never actually get to see her naked, because right as you're about to see it, the packet gets re-encrypted by another node. '''Jeffism''': what about jacobappelbaum '''aestetix''': Right, well the .appelbaum protocol has a backdoor key that disarms the onion and removes all the layers '''aestetix''': And the .appelbaum signature remains on the onion, making it re-accessible at any time, no matter how many new layers are on it

* '''ioerror''': All governments are in a continuum of tyranny

* '''aestetix''' How fucking inconsiderate. I found a cell phone some girl left behind at our place. And there are no naked pictures on it at all.

* '''lemonkey''' nothing like the smell of fresh human feces wafting up into your window from down below to brighten your day '''aestetix''' lemonkey: did you sleep with rubin110 again? '''rubin110''' aestetix: I don't smell fresh.

* '''chelz''': even with electron microscopes operated by TRAINED psychics?

* '''dr_jesus''': anyone who has signed an ISOO form must not query the db and it's a SF312 violation to log the channel

* '''rubin110''': I am booting up a Windows VM in order to schedule a conference room.

* '''dustball''': PS: For all reading this thread, FYI, you now have the Tetris song stuck in your head.

* '''aestetix''': For some reason, being up late in Manhattan has reminded me that I need to get new pants.

* '''qDot_''': Open source zealots are rioting right now. '''qDot_''': And by rioting, I mean writing /very/ angry blog comments. '''qDot_''': Like, you don't even know, man.

* '''chu''': aestetix: Those may be the precise circumstances under which surprise anal sex is called for.

* '''ieatlint''': splitting hairs '''sabrecito''': 2x hairs is better than 1x

* '''hephaestus''': solidsnack: where do i get some roofies? i think it would be fun to pop a couple and get raped

* '''dr_jesus''': apparently we can get mass quantities of government commodity foods if we agree to track inventory and only give it away to people who sign a form saying they're eligible to receive it

* '''qDot''': DrShiny: Come on, everyone knows that any sentence involving "PHP" is instantly sarcastic.

* '''dongsNbongs''': we'll drink to weevs gaping rape hole

* '''solrize''': VonGuard, almost all flashlights have firmware now

* '''dr_jesus''': I know you're trying to be funny, but it helps if you say something that's actually humorous

* '''alienvenom''': i don't think global warming is a hoax per-say, but just fucking wrong

* '''qDot_''': Man, this is why I just stick with the butt plugs. Ya'll too up in the soap opera. I'm just gonna be over here, putting stuff in my butt. '''aestetix''': Speaking of butt plugs, it's lunch time.

* '''quinn''': given the choice between raccoon urine and VAX support, I really don't know which I'd choose.

* '''aestetix''': qDot_: did you see Wired.com today? '''qDot_''': No. I was fapping so hard over the new iphone that I went temporarily blind. I'm currently the emergency room getting my penis fixed after desperately trying to stick it in the headphone jack of my 3gs so I could feel closer to steve. So, URL?

* '''wiretapped''': I republished your photos without attribution because i don't respect copyright

* '''Chris L.''': "[japanese] are vicious, vicious little fuckers"

* '''ceren''': iranian officials are arresting and interrogating people who sign up for a local gay/trans group. the sysadmins for that group aren't as fucking senior as you, and barely managed to get apache running. they confiscate the machines, and because these un-senior sysadmins didn't yet get around to learning and reducing logrotate, everyone who had the courage to even check out the website is now arrested and tortured.

* '''solidsnack''': why don't you just not have those views?

* '''hephaestus''': screw you guys, i'm going to fry's

* '''zedd''': Pft. I'm a member now, there is no should, only bitch and do not.

* '''hephaestus''': seattle always struck me as the place where san franciscans went to become irrelevant '''hephaestus''': it's just as expensive but far more douchey

* '''hephaestus''': Gnewt: well, i just finished a presentation on DIY Dildos. I'm trying to start a church. And I'm trying to get permission to piss off a bunch of juggalos early next month. you?

* '''VonGuard''': i use the salt for luck '''VonGuard''': i have a salt throwing device installed on my shoulder that throws it over my shoulder every 2 seconds

* '''DrShiny''': but the usual random dicks? not porn imho

* '''solidsnack''': I'm a roving bandaid.

* '''jon|atwerk''': VonGuard: that is where you convert morse code into oral and anal, right?

* Overheard: Facebook should have made a board game.

* '''Aya''': If coming to Noisebridge solved my problems and made me famous I wouldn't question it.

* '''Erin''': We're all NB-tards '''Al''': I just registered nbtard.com! '''rachel''': with one hand

* '''himynameisthor''': COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': OMG COCKS! '''himynameisthor''': best idea ever! '''himynameisthor''': sorry, that came out a little creepier than I had intended

* '''aestetix''': Wear four fingerpuppets: a buddhist, an objectivist, a mormon, and a scientologist '''aestetix''': And then masturbate '''aestetix''': Which puppet should get the money shot?

* '''dr_jesus''' eyes atala's boobs '''Atala''': mostly i wish i could take them off. the problem with this is that then i'd have to worry about people stealing them.

* '''DrSyzygy''': Muwahahahahahaha! In an unholy union, I now am able to use MPI clusters and SQL servers with Sagemath to compute Gröbner Bases!

* '''Valkyrie''': I don't have a real pc. I've gone totally virtual.

* '''dr_jesus''': On the one hand, I'm happy that people are learning sql '''dr_jesus''': on the other hand, that's an awful lot of dick that I'm colocating in an anonymous secret underground swedish colo

* '''alienvenom''': there's a giant lightning bolt on my widget

* '''DrSyzygy''' takes off his pants so he can write tomorrow's lecture. '''saizai''': .... what's the lecture on exactly? '''qDot_''': That's certainly how I prepare for my lectures. '''qDot_''': But, well, I lecture about butt plugs.

* '''Nils''': if you take the goat to the edge of a cliff, it will push back harder.

* '''lemonkey''': now to spruce up my blog layout

* '''dr_jesus''': you're not supposed to shoot TVs '''dr_jesus''': they have lead and stuff in the glass '''voronika''': you're not supposed to do a lot of fun things

* '''alxndr''': I think I've successfully switched myself from emacs to vim. '''VonGuard''': wow '''VonGuard''': that's like a sex change for nerds

* '''epsas''': Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from irc on a text console.

* '''ieatlint''': i'm just being a bitch and arguing this :P

* '''ieatlint''': nice, the producer for "survivor" is suspected in the murder of his wife '''magpie''': she wasnt murdered '''magpie''': just "voted off the island"

* '''flatline_hb''': The spamtron 9000 is set to "hair-trigger," do not say the same thing thrice on pain of kline '''flatline_hb''': interesting '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice '''flatline_hb''': beetlejuice [~flatline_@the.inter.net] has quit [Killed (idoru (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]

* '''phusion''': surprised they could dance wearing that shit. '''miah''': of course they can dance '''miah''': that is battle ready armor, storm troopers need to be able to move if they are going to fight worth a damn

* '''shogun_''': After reading the entire article, I think it's an april fools....they got me

* '''zedd''': Anyone that doesn't love comic sans is a terrorist.

* '''liquidsun|''': I bought a hat so I can be an asshat

* '''ceren''': aempirei: it's been done so hard here that i think we're beating the spot on the ground where the dead horse rotted

* '''lemonkey''': does thermburglar steal heat? '''dr_jesus''': thermburglar does in fact steal heat '''dr_jesus''': and then does covered calls in the btu market with them '''dr_jesus''': and then returns them, sometimes in less than pristine condition

* '''hep''': i never smell ok

* '''DrShiny''': yes, i had too much sports sex and broke my junk

* '''aestetix''': I think a bunch of noisebridgers should go to a strip club with laptops '''dr_jesus''': some friends and I actually tried that once in vegas for defcon '''dr_jesus''': then we tried it back here in the bay area to see if they'd kick us out here too and the answer is yes, immediately

* '''qDot_''': Well, you wallpaper your walls with vag, something's going to get peed on.

* '''Jake''': Enjoy the hell that you've helped to create!

* '''lemonkey''': GOOD MORNING '''jynn-''': WHAT JUST HAPPENED '''jynn-''': OH GOD

*'''aestetix''': dude where's my ops '''aestetix''': give me status or give me death

*'''VonGuard''': As a result, I know exactly who is trolling when.

*'''setient''': i just realized how awesome it is to have your own office '''miah''': put your pants back on

* '''rubin110[https://www.noisebridge.net/index.php?title=Party_Form&oldid=10426 :]''' Please fill out and submit this form to the party comity and directory in order to run your party.

* '''aestetix''': Atala: even better, how about a illustration of Jacque de Molay's execution?

* '''wiretapped''': .sql select count(*) from dongs where url like 'http://cache.boston.com%' '''noisesql''': wiretapped: 0 '''wiretapped''': dr_jesus: see that? I didn't get a () from my delete! '''noisesql''': I '''wiretapped''': o_O '''noisesql''': I hunger for flesh '''wiretapped''': uh oh

* '''dr_jesus''' ran a mile once '''dr_jesus''': these days I just build sand castles instead and wait for some tough guy to kick them over, then I chessbox him

* '''miah''': i think im a level 2 emoquiter

* '''alxndr''': damn, I hope I don't bust up giggling next time someone unzips my fly because I'm thinking "HULL BREACH!! MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! AAAOOOOOOGAAH"

* '''aestetix''': I think I now have professional java experience '''aestetix''': and I hate the langugage even more '''vorstyles''': barista? '''Epsas''': single short amaerican plz '''vorstyles''': is that a coffee order, or are you on okcupid?

* '''PuppyCock''': so, how do you dispose of a body? '''vorstyles''': puppycock: i'd suggest dropping the body at noisebridge hq with a tag saying "for parts" '''vorstyles''': it'll get used in various projects

* ''' aestetix''': I just finished jerking off to the last page of anne frank's diary

* '''Destri''': there is sometimes a fine line between "protesting" and "terrorist action" '''ani-''': there's sometimes a fine line between your mom and terrorist action

* '''vorstyles''': i hate this economy '''vorstyles''': gives people too much freetime for protests

* '''PuppyCock''': Maddox was right

* '''alienvenom''': what are you interested in? bestiality, s&m? '''lemonkey''': maybe '''alienvenom''': daipers? '''alienvenom''': you an ABDL? '''lemonkey''': sploshing '''alienvenom''': watersports? '''alienvenom''': fisting? '''lemonkey''': i enjoy feeling creamed corn between my buttcheeks '''alienvenom''': O_o '''lemonkey''': as if i shat myself
* '''thermburglar''': i have a math penis, does that count '''thermburglar''': its uncut, so as to function as a slide rule as well

* '''miah''': or maybe i'm misisng the humor again '''miah''': maybe we should implement a humor tag into irc '''miah''': or write a bot that detects humor to alert us

* '''ani''': i totally want some httpspanties '''vorstyles''': panties with a .htaccess '''lemonkey''': you know it's only a matter of time before our underware starts tweeting

* '''Kelly''': I'm trying to make a point of relating to non-geeks as if they too were human.

* '''Jim''': I like being senile, it's like being drunk without the hangover.

* '''lemonkey''': http://twitpic.com/153mju '''lemonkey''': final shuttle pin '''JSharp''': nearly 30 years is a very long time for a program like that :) '''JSharp''': not a bad design '''JSharp''': heh, the pin I mean

* '''turkshead''': Dr. J has offered to quantify my gizmo with his phone.

* '''alienvenom''': i suspect that the people who work at muni do not, in fact, have a brain. '''solidsnack''': alienvenom: But do they have a heart? '''solidsnack''': I think I'm most like the cowardly lion.

* '''miah''': vagina dentata should be standard equipment for female soldiers

* '''aestetix''': I seriously think phone booths need to start popping up all over america

* '''dr_jesus''': I'm just happy that I wrote a robot squad that helps teach people programming languages, the details are kind of a minor point for me '''DrShiny''': dr_jesus: that's so... so... SELFLESS of you '''DrShiny''': "I'm just glad to do my bit to make the world a better place" '''dr_jesus''': awesome buy me a hookers and blow '''DrShiny''': "<self-deprecating moue>" '''dr_jesus''': sandwich

* '''aestetix''': FUCK '''aestetix''': MUST FEED CHOCOLATE ADDICTION '''aestetix''': BRB PEANUT BUTTER TWIX OR BUST

* '''Destri''': new levels of bachelor-hood. Left coat in car, coat has my my titanium spork, need spork to stir my instant coffee

* '''zedd''': Come on, Zedd for ED, he gets things up '''ani''': ani for ed, she puts things down

* '''wiretapped''': aestetix: it turns out that for most intents and purposes, the internet *is* a big truck

* '''DrShiny''': wait, say all that again, i spilled soup on my keyboard so i couldn't hear you

* '''dr_jesus''': when a child dies and has NOT been daemonized (into a completely new process group), the child zombifies because the kernel needs to keep the child data structures around in case the parent wants to look at them to figure out why the child died '''dr_jesus''': ONLY WHEN the parent process calls wait() or a similar routine to extract that information does the kernel clean up the child data structures, since now the parent has them and can start poring over them to figure out what happened and what to do about it ''' dr_jesus''': now the parent might not want to sit around all day waiting for its kids to die, so the kernel sends SIGCHLD to the parent so whatever the parent is doing can be interrupted and it can call wait() at that point to figure out 1) who died, and 2) what caused it '''dr_jesus''': so basically SIGCHLD is child protection services and the kids are suicidal '''dr_jesus''': and a zombie process is a foster kid with a big tattoo on its forehead saying EXIT CODE = 0xwhatever and cps keeps it around waiting for the deadbeat parent to show up and get the exit code

* '''alienvenom''': yes, they would in theory be able to measure the capacitance of a penis

* '''rachel-''': no, when i'm 91, i'm gonna stick wine bottles up my ass

* '''TheScott''': we are having a wi party at VonGuards house because his wife went to Disney land '''TheScott''': apparently he can't fulfill her fantasy life or requirements

* '''ryan-c''': oh, hey. I've been looking for that penis bouquet pic for a while

* '''Valkyrie''': I did some work in saltmines in Utah. They were rather unpleasant, but not horrible.

* '''epsas''': i miss shitting in the woods '''epsas''': in my bear costume

* '''dr_jesus''': bwahhaha '''dr_jesus''': oracle backwards is el caro '''dr_jesus''': [http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A http://translate.google.com/#es|en|el%20caro%0A] '''epsas''': does that mean something? '''epsas''': ahh - hehe '''dr_jesus''': "the expensive"

* '''epsas''': you have to fellate the chicken

* '''epsas''': we need a fighterjetbot '''epsas''': i like looking at fighter jets '''epsas''': they are, like, flying dongs with guns
* '''Evil-Bill''': noisecloud: find Sarah Connor '''noisecloud''': Evil-Bill: I don't understand 'find Sarah Connor'. '''Evil-Bill''': Well that's a relief.

* '''miah''': how many blocks could a noisebridge member block if a noisebridge member could block blocks

* '''dr_jesus''': shut up for a second, I'm committing a sin against mankind
* '''rachel-''': it's a hard time to be a terrorist
* '''DrSyzygy''':: "While the joint work to immanetize the eschaton was certainly eye-opening and pleasant, I really would have liked more of the material on acausal influencing, and at least some differential algebraic topology. '''magpie-''': i have a 3.8 GPA. what?

* '''Evil_Bill''': C has no objects (only zuul).

* '''ani''': you do realise the wheels made it rollable right?

* '''dr_jesus''': noiseelisp: eval (message user-login-name) '''noiseelisp''': dr_jesus: root '''dr_jesus''': god fucking dammit not again

* '''dr_jesus''': I also heard that the sewer system is based on alien wormhole technology and the poop timing has to be coordinated to avoid causing a grandfeces paradox '''grelli''': you... you're not supposed to know about that '''grelli''': are you after our beaver technology??

*'''radii''': I'm stuck with keeping ani and turkshead from turning the whole thing into a kumbayah steampunk vibrator singalong.

* '''Martyn''': Where did this whole dong meme come from, anyway?

* '''rachel-''': oh man I want multiple inheritance SO MUCH '''aestetix''': rachel-: are you poly? cause that could happen '''aestetix''': Find a bunch of old dirty guys and marry them

*'''incekt''': all i know is it's 40 ms away '''incekt''': as the crow flies

*'''dr_jesus''': noisec: eval printf("%i", getuid()); '''noisec''': dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''': fuck

* '''rachel''': the dong link list is not very long as yet

* '''epsas''': IF YOU MISSED THE PUNCHLINE, WILLIE NELSON WAS GIVING DOLLY PARTON ORAL PLEASURE

* '''dr_jesus_''': rm has [http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/coreutils.git/tree/src/remove.c?id=v8.1#n504 a hardcoded check] to prevent removing / '''alienvenom''': no it doesn't '''dr_jesus_''': sure it does, try it '''alienvenom''': the -rf overrides it '''alienvenom''': i've done it before

* '''Sargun''': I wonder if you could make a strap on for people who already have dongs

* '''aestetix''': maybe a goatee sniffing context too?

* '''ani-''': rachel-: like all campaign promises, i can almost guarantee that it will never actually happen

* '''voronika''': at that point, you've missed the bitching bus

* '''alienvenom''': man i wish i was uncut. '''alienvenom''': just saying :-P '''alienvenom''': sorry '''alienvenom''': lol '''ieatlint''': we were just having a moment of silence for your foreskin

* '''rachel''': eljepe: i see your point and raise you SHUT UP

* '''aestetix''': Can someone explain to me in one sentence what "agile programming" is? '''oao''': it's like knowing you have to drive to some city on the east coast and setting out without a map but with a phone that you can use to ask people questions along the way.

* '''zedd''': can't breathe lulzing too hard

* '''Valkyrie''': Atala: how big is your vagina?

* '''aestetix''': So, somewhere near the top of the list of people "You don't want to piss off (™)" '''aestetix''': Up there with Hitler's ghost and Your mom '''aestetix''': I think would include the people who did the construction work at Noisebridge '''aestetix''': They're pretty badass

* '''dr_jesus''': btw I'm still planning on putting current meters on, as soon as I can convince someone not to rip them out because you can't read keystrokes off a battery powered laptop at the space using a 1Hz sample rate on a 10 bit ADC hooked up to the mains current sensor

* '''Crutcher''': Then they came for the Assholes - and there was no one left to speak for me.

* >> '''Valkyrie`''' points out that bongs and other devices can be used to smoke a variety of plant matter, from tobacco to sage. '''VonGuard''': so what the hell coudl you even use em for? '''wiretapped''': we're using them on an append-only MyISAM db right now

* '''Anonymous''': I wish that rubin would just leave his natural regional endowments alone, I think that he would just be beautiful with long natural regional endowments. I have always had a great respect for nature.

* '''Martyn''': water for -northern- california comes in large part from Hetch Hetchi, which used to be a valley as large and as beautiful as Yosemite '''ieatlint''': not as beautiful '''Martyn''': it was equally as beautiful '''ieatlint''': don't let the environmentalists fool you

* '''rigel''': so every time i import MySQLdb it says its deprecated '''rigel''': what should i be using instead? '''miah''': postgresql

* '''Valkyrie''': Well, dongs are a dime a dozen. '''Valkyrie''': Space is rare.

* '''VonGuard''': scott will never finish the bathroom. you idiots made him a member. if he ever is in danger of getting fired for not finishing the bathroom, he will block

* '''JSharp''': all your anomalies are belong to deviation. you are on your way to normalization, make your sigma.

* '''Rubin''': OK, I can't tell which one is rum, I'm done for the night.

*'''turkshead''': guys, i went ahead and painted the consensus process green. '''turkshead''': everybody likes green, right? '''shkoo''': the consensus process must be blue.

* '''Kripto''': I avoid Folsom St Fair.. its my b-day weekend and the last thing I need is 50000 people all wanting to give me b-day spankings.

* '''Martyn''': Atala : Mental image -- Alienvenom, ieatlint, Jason, and Mike K all masturbating in wooden chairs. (revenge!) '''ieatlint''': Martyn, ouch... i'm going to take that personally '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Dude, I love you, but I never ever want to see you play the skinflute. '''ieatlint''': fine fine '''Martyn''': ieatlint : I'm sure the sentiment is returned :) '''ieatlint''': but you don't need to make the same decision for the rest of noisebridge '''Martyn''': ieatlint : Okay, okay .. fair enough. If you -really- want to, you can hypothetically masturbate for the non-extant construction crew :)

* '''aestetix''': fuck I started reading about the cat and totally forgot what I was gonna do but the kitty is so nice and cuddly awww

* '''froggytoad''': so... thing is, he has a thing for bears... '''Atala''': i have a gorilla suit you could borrow. not sure that would work, but maybe worth a try? please clean it after though.

* '''JSharp''': Clippy: "I see you're trying to start an edit war. Would you like me to load a godwin macro?"

* '''dr_jesus''': at the moment he's so far out of compliance that the city is going to get a new TV's worth of fines out of his ass for being so shady

*'''Zedd''': Jeffery, why are you wearing fibreglass as a fashion accessory?

* '''ioerror''': 99% of the police make the rest look bad

* '''eljepe''': ie your pipes are full of rats '''eljepe''': your walls are full of cats '''eljepe''': and there is a homeless man living in your elevator '''chu''': If he's living in the elevator is he really homeless?

* '''ani-''': hm, looks like no one has any records of a tesla turbine in the guinness book of world records >> '''ani-''' submits >> '''Evil-Bill''' dominates

* '''noisercode''': ani- beats dusek with a government entitlement and some nuts and bolts to hold my OTO meetings in 2169 for breakfast at-this-moment

* '''dr_jesus''': ow '''dr_jesus''': some blind dude rocking out on his headphones just beaned me with his cane

* '''ieatlint''': unconfirmed report says a pipe bomb has gone off inside without injuries '''MrDomino''': yeah, sounds like... *tic*... the semester's off to a bang... >> '''ani-''' slaps MrDomino with a humungous trout >> '''MrDomino''' masturbates furiously to his pun

* '''Emflamed''': guys.......i know wat sex is.........i dont like listening about it .... or talking bout it...... or watching it (never have) , so please stop, and i dont need a seed wife just for sex!, cuz i dont want sex!

* '''[[User:rachel|rachel-]]''': and now i have fresher breath, i sleep better, and my penis is much longer

* '''teratoma''': perhaps noisebridge can hack BART to run without employees

* '''dr_jesus''': noisecode: eval os.geteuid() '''noisecode''' dr_jesus: 0 '''dr_jesus''' fuck

* >> '''SanMehat''' blew a transformer '''iz''': did he at least buy you dinner first?

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, i somehow doubt i could ever bring myself to have that kind of thing (penis piercing) done... '''Atala''': ieatlint: you're single right now, yes? '''ieatlint''': Atala, yes. '''Atala''': ieatlint: now's the time! if that thing isn't going to get some use, might as well bling it out.

* '''ceren''': ps: do not feed your pierced penis to a baby.

* >> '''ani-''' puts on pants '''rachel-''': ani-: nooooooooooooo

* '''Atala''': yeah, what's been up with the pacific northwest hitting bbq temperatures? '''lemonkey''': god's wrath for Microsoft bing

* '''rubin110''': So Andy was wearing the tightest pants earlier today at the wedding. '''rubin110''': His ass looked sooo good. '''rubin110''': You didn't hear this from me.

* '''rubin110''': IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE ALL OVER 83C THERE ON MY BACK. '''rubin110''': ER ALL OF '''VonGuard''': [21:18] <rubin110> IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE MY BOWELS ALL OVER 83C THERE AND ON MY OWN BACK.

* '''rubin110''': Wait. '''rubin110''': Why don't we have the makerbot just print us a new space?

* '''ani'''-: [http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com/ http://theplanetshop.blogspot.com] '''zaius''': hot! i'd wear that '''zaius''': ... if i was a girl, i mean

* There was a [[David Fine]] bonanza - which got its own page.

* '''froggytoad''': apparantly the dust turns to acid, when you add water. I haven't tried it yet.

*'''dr_jesus''': clearly you have not witnessed the full power of this fully armed and operational asian counterfeiting operation

* '''VonGuard''': oh, hey, tell miloh we figured out how to sex his lizard

*'''Atala''': were they asking you to get fucked in the ass by a machine for money?

*'''lemonkey''': mm jerk chicken quesadillas '''iz''': they are extra delicious because you know the chicken was a real asshole when alive

* '''froggytoad''': fish guts have this excellent quality of bringing solids out of solutions

* -- Let it hereby also be noted that PNAC stands for Pvck's Neutron Absorbent Cock.

* '''Nana''': Rat poison is never the solution.

* '''lemonkey''': stop, drop, and rofl

* '''dr_jesus''': If you get me that board, I will develop quad core pants.

* '''VonGuard''': "welcome to apple, here's your new liver, an ipod, and an ounce of heroin"

* '''Atala''': ieatlint: sucking cock for crack doesn't count ;P '''ieatlint''': Atala, it wasn't for crack

* '''ieatlint''': yeah, we need a pigeon hacking class at noisebridge

* '''vniow-rachel-''': i am an unholy breed of hot lesbian and craftiness!

* '''Atala''': i wish i could eat in the same way i masturbate - whenever the hell i feel like it, going for as long between as i feel like. though it would be sad if i couldn't eat in public, that would be annoying.

* '''Valkyrie''': I remember a job interview I went on where they had decided that this "IP" business was not the way to go so they were ripping out all their ethernet and replacing it with RS232 and x.25.

* '''San''': "I still fucking hate Keanu Reeves"

* '''ryanc-''': i need more sex toys '''vniow''': me too

* '''aestetix''': vniow: do you want me to bring the rape game by Noisebridge tonight?

* '''alienvenom''': '/win goto #gaysf '''alienvenom''': err '''alienvenom''': wow '''alienvenom''': uh '''alienvenom''': everyone type /clear now please :) '''alienvenom''': :-\

* '''vniow''': god, i sound like a noisebridge slut [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: vniow: I don't think you're a slut '''vniow''': i've slept with ceren too, as of last night [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: ok, now I do

* '''leif''': It's not as wiki as it could be.

* '''Martyn''': That dildo is going to see more action that a pornstar at Kink.com '''Martyn''': You're going to have to start laser-etching the names of people who have used it on it '''Atala''': there is definitely an appeal to being able to say "yeah, that steampunk vibrator you saw on boing boing? i fucked that."

* '''Valkyrie`''': So I'm thinking about going to this gothic rocket thing tonight.

* '''Valkyrie`''': eh. We already got a "go kill yourself" post... over EMAIL ETIQUETTE! '''Valkyrie`''': It's a little surreal.

* [[User:dr_jesus|'''Dr. Jesus''']]: Ok, the federal government is IMing me now.

* '''anonymous''': Being in noisebridge feels like being surrounded by gnomes and unicorns.

* '''Jake''': Dr. Jesus, I have no epenis.

* '''aestetix''' : Nine minutes left. That's enough time to do some coke.

* '''Jake''': Police are like vampires, you never invite them into your home.

* '''Skye''': I'm like Pavlov for slovenliness.

* '''Steen''': If you keep taking those you're going to train me to just leave them there.

5MoF/2011/01 20

2012-01-31T08:43:12Z

98.234.232.4:

The speakers were:

1. Tim Anderson

2. Adam Engelhart (''On Carbonated Fruit and How it Can Enhance Quality of Life'')

3. Andrew O'Malley

4. Will Sargent ("Dating Heuristics")

5. Jordan Levantini

6. William Roscoe

7. Nick Doiron

8. RAYC

Meeting Notes 2011 10 18

2011-10-19T05:54:50Z

98.234.232.4: /* Introduction and Names */

== HOWTO run a meeting. ==

Pick a moderator, and a note-taker. The note-taker should:

* write notes in this page, put them back up online when they're done,
* edit the [[Current_Consensus_Items|Current Consensus Items]] if anything is decided to be up for consensus next week (stuff raised for consensus this week should be publicised for a final decision next week)
* edit the [[Consensus_Items_History|Consensus Items History]] if anything was consensed or failed to consense this week.
* tell treasurer@noisebridge.net and secretary@noisebridge.net if there are new members.

Moderator should:
* make sure everyone gets a chance to speak
* speak minimally themselves
* keep the meeting moving! you're in charge of summarising the consensus, and/or suggesting things that need to be done!
* get the membership binders and ensure they are returned to the black desk

== Agenda ==

[https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Category:Meeting_Notes The 183rd Meeting of Noisebridge]

Note-taker: Max W

Moderator: Tom L

=== Introduction and Names ===
* [[Noisebridge_Vision|What Noisebridge is about]]: "Noisebridge is a 501c3 nonprofit that provides a space for creation, collaboration, and learning about technology and creative projects. Noisebridge provides space, power tools, and infrastructure to help the public learn new skills and create cool things. Noisebridge continues to exist through and depends entirely on membership fees and donations. Our code of conduct is 'Be excellent to each other'."
* Round of introductions: What's your name, what do you do, and if you are new, how did you hear about Noisebridge? Start with the moderator and go left.

** tom - moderator
** evan - professional noisebridge freeloader
** cynthia - left texas, enjoys what we do
** jonathan - likes techshop, prefers noisebridge
** brian - android/ios developer
** ben - good attitude about mercury. Learning RHEL
** kaya - developer, specializing in atmospheric displacement
** elsp - working with maker bots, fixing crap up.
** laura - still has not seen the movie hackers
** jessie - engineer by profession. Enjoys engineering in free time.
** bill - here to pay dues
** will - was disgustingly late
** kelly - arrived after will

* [[Consensus Process|A brief primer on consensus process]]: We agree and so should you! Only paid-up members can block consensus.

=== Short Announcements ===

Cool new projects? Something you'd like people to know? Say now, but keep it short!

Kaya: Downstairs: guy next store, 'miram', was angry about the trash cans in front of the building

=== New or Stale Events ===

Is there anything new happening at the space?
Is there anything that has stopped happening at the space?

elsp: Journey to the end of the night happens next Saturday (Oct 29th) Basically a giant city wide game of tag + Halloween costumes.

=== Financial Report ===
Funds in bank:
$22344.33 - current aggregate bank balance

* PGE lighting replacement: 'hopefully we'll hear more on this over the next month or two'
* Talk of disabling monkeybrains internet. RESOLVED: We no longer need to mail them checks as we can pay online via PayPal or CC. We're currently running @ 30mbit/s up&down.

=== Membership Binder ===
* Read off any names from the binder for the past month. Write a check on every open application.
* Anyone up for joining this week (ie have four checks by their name + have two sponsors) should introduce themselves then leave the area in search of gifts (traditionally beer and a lime) for the rest of the group. The rest of the meeting should consense on whether they may join.
** Laura - First checkmark
** Kaya - First checkmark
** Todd - No sponsors
** Sebastian Lane - No sponsors - checkmark++;
** Gavin Knight
***4 checkmarks, 2 sponsors (Miloh, Danny)
<blockquote>
Grew up in bay area. Didn't know about noisebridge until he found noisebridge. In a small startup doing programming, open to learning more about hardware. 'Hacker prom was really great' Really wants to join and become a member.</blockquote>

<blockquote>
'How do you feel about the consensus process?', 'Um I think it works well, however sometimes communication breaks down.' '''Sometimes people lose track of when something has been brought up previously or not'''
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
'Tell me about radical inclusion. People may not get along, but people contribute more than their disagreements would take away'
'''It doesn't work when people start self policing and it takes actually effort to get a system like this to work'''
</blockquote>

Moderator: 'It is the consensus of noisebridge that Gavin Knight be a member'

=== Consensus items ===

''(Add any new items for consensus to the [[Current_Consensus_Items|Current Consensus Items]] page.)''

* No current consensus items
* No new items brought up.

=== Discussion Items ===
* Only one speaker for five minutes of fame this Thursday (Oct 20th)
** http://5mof.net/signup - signup here

* MonkeyBrains situation:
<blockquote>
Working on monkey brains situation now. The monkey brains link has been repaired. It is now excellent. Much better than our sonic link. Equipment on the roof has been replaced. Moderately reliable 30mbit/s. Trying to turn out default gateway over to monkeybrains tonight.

$6000 in equipment. Raises from 30mbit to gigabit for the same monthly price.

4-10ms latency.

Monkeybrains link has been working under ssid:'noisebridge-mc', pass:'noisebridge'
</blockquote>

=== End of Meeting ===
* [[PGP|PGP Key Signing]] could happen now, check the [[PGP|list]] to see who wants in on the action.
* Put back the membership binder in the black desk.
* Save the meeting notes to the wiki.
* Send a copy of the meeting notes to the discussion list.
* Copy the [[Meeting Notes Template]] for next week's agenda and update the main wiki page's link to it.
* Enjoy a cocktail with your fellow hacker or robot.

[[Category:Meeting Notes]]

Meeting Notes 2011 10 18

2011-10-19T05:54:28Z

98.234.232.4: /* Introduction and Names */

== HOWTO run a meeting. ==

Pick a moderator, and a note-taker. The note-taker should:

* write notes in this page, put them back up online when they're done,
* edit the [[Current_Consensus_Items|Current Consensus Items]] if anything is decided to be up for consensus next week (stuff raised for consensus this week should be publicised for a final decision next week)
* edit the [[Consensus_Items_History|Consensus Items History]] if anything was consensed or failed to consense this week.
* tell treasurer@noisebridge.net and secretary@noisebridge.net if there are new members.

Moderator should:
* make sure everyone gets a chance to speak
* speak minimally themselves
* keep the meeting moving! you're in charge of summarising the consensus, and/or suggesting things that need to be done!
* get the membership binders and ensure they are returned to the black desk

== Agenda ==

[https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Category:Meeting_Notes The 183rd Meeting of Noisebridge]

Note-taker: Max W

Moderator: Tom L

=== Introduction and Names ===
* [[Noisebridge_Vision|What Noisebridge is about]]: "Noisebridge is a 501c3 nonprofit that provides a space for creation, collaboration, and learning about technology and creative projects. Noisebridge provides space, power tools, and infrastructure to help the public learn new skills and create cool things. Noisebridge continues to exist through and depends entirely on membership fees and donations. Our code of conduct is 'Be excellent to each other'."
* Round of introductions: What's your name, what do you do, and if you are new, how did you hear about Noisebridge? Start with the moderator and go left.

** tom - moderator
** evan - professional noisebridge freeloader
** cynthia - left texas, enjoys what we do
** jonathan - likes techshop, prefers noisebridge
** brian - android/ios developer
** ben - good attitude about mercury. Learning RHEL
** kaya - developer, specializing in atmospheric displacement
** elsp - working with maker bots, fixing crap up.
** laura - still has not seen the movie hackers
** jessie - engineer by profession. Enjoys engineering in free time.
** bill - here to pay dues
** will - was disgustingly late

* [[Consensus Process|A brief primer on consensus process]]: We agree and so should you! Only paid-up members can block consensus.

=== Short Announcements ===

Cool new projects? Something you'd like people to know? Say now, but keep it short!

Kaya: Downstairs: guy next store, 'miram', was angry about the trash cans in front of the building

=== New or Stale Events ===

Is there anything new happening at the space?
Is there anything that has stopped happening at the space?

elsp: Journey to the end of the night happens next Saturday (Oct 29th) Basically a giant city wide game of tag + Halloween costumes.

=== Financial Report ===
Funds in bank:
$22344.33 - current aggregate bank balance

* PGE lighting replacement: 'hopefully we'll hear more on this over the next month or two'
* Talk of disabling monkeybrains internet. RESOLVED: We no longer need to mail them checks as we can pay online via PayPal or CC. We're currently running @ 30mbit/s up&down.

=== Membership Binder ===
* Read off any names from the binder for the past month. Write a check on every open application.
* Anyone up for joining this week (ie have four checks by their name + have two sponsors) should introduce themselves then leave the area in search of gifts (traditionally beer and a lime) for the rest of the group. The rest of the meeting should consense on whether they may join.
** Laura - First checkmark
** Kaya - First checkmark
** Todd - No sponsors
** Sebastian Lane - No sponsors - checkmark++;
** Gavin Knight
***4 checkmarks, 2 sponsors (Miloh, Danny)
<blockquote>
Grew up in bay area. Didn't know about noisebridge until he found noisebridge. In a small startup doing programming, open to learning more about hardware. 'Hacker prom was really great' Really wants to join and become a member.</blockquote>

<blockquote>
'How do you feel about the consensus process?', 'Um I think it works well, however sometimes communication breaks down.' '''Sometimes people lose track of when something has been brought up previously or not'''
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
'Tell me about radical inclusion. People may not get along, but people contribute more than their disagreements would take away'
'''It doesn't work when people start self policing and it takes actually effort to get a system like this to work'''
</blockquote>

Moderator: 'It is the consensus of noisebridge that Gavin Knight be a member'

=== Consensus items ===

''(Add any new items for consensus to the [[Current_Consensus_Items|Current Consensus Items]] page.)''

* No current consensus items
* No new items brought up.

=== Discussion Items ===
* Only one speaker for five minutes of fame this Thursday (Oct 20th)
** http://5mof.net/signup - signup here

* MonkeyBrains situation:
<blockquote>
Working on monkey brains situation now. The monkey brains link has been repaired. It is now excellent. Much better than our sonic link. Equipment on the roof has been replaced. Moderately reliable 30mbit/s. Trying to turn out default gateway over to monkeybrains tonight.

$6000 in equipment. Raises from 30mbit to gigabit for the same monthly price.

4-10ms latency.

Monkeybrains link has been working under ssid:'noisebridge-mc', pass:'noisebridge'
</blockquote>

=== End of Meeting ===
* [[PGP|PGP Key Signing]] could happen now, check the [[PGP|list]] to see who wants in on the action.
* Put back the membership binder in the black desk.
* Save the meeting notes to the wiki.
* Send a copy of the meeting notes to the discussion list.
* Copy the [[Meeting Notes Template]] for next week's agenda and update the main wiki page's link to it.
* Enjoy a cocktail with your fellow hacker or robot.

[[Category:Meeting Notes]]